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I've been getting crappy aides from this new agency. I have a permanent aid 3 days a week and I recently changed to weekends to be by myself so all I need is 1 person for the other 2 days. I like someone I'm comfortable with and can trust. I'm a vampire I love staying up till early morning gaming so when I let them in I like going back to sleep. I expressed to agency last week I didn't like this aide. I have trouble understanding her, I had to rewash the dishes when she left food still in them. My bedroom she left untouched. I didn't think she would be back but they gave her permanent for the other 2 days. My question is when an aide comes I'm not comfortable with do I have to let them in or can I refuse and tell them send someone else? BTW, I'm in N.Y state.

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The aide from home health is very obese. She looks like she weighs about 400 lbs. She has mobility issues and doesn’t wash mom’s hair well or rinse it well. She doesn’t bathe mom very well. The other aide I tried with home health is unreliable and doesn’t show up.

It’s frustrating because she tells me that I have spoiled mom so she won’t bathe herself and it’s part of her therapy.

I had to tell her that mom has a rotator cuff issue so she can’t reach up to wash her hair. She can’t bend down to wash her legs and feet. She can’t reach her back or get her underarms well. So she needs help.

I explained nicely that she had PT and OT for therapy.

Now, the aide from Council on Aging is really good. She shows up on time. Helps wash mom. Is very polite. She asked to leave early once because her little girl got sick. I told her of course she could leave an hour early. Do you know what her response was? I will stay an hour extra next time.

She comes every other Friday, not a lot but more than nothing so I am grateful. I told her she absolutely does not need to stay an extra hour because her child got sick. Kids get sick. It happens. She truly impressed me by offering to stay extra. I’m not going to ask her to do that.

She works hard enough as a single mom. But I appreciate her offering. It speaks highly of her character to me. She vacuums mom’s room. I even saw her cleaning her mirrors, dusting and she washes mom’s sheets too.

She’s a sweetheart. She listens to mom’s stories. She watches a game show, Family Feud with mom.

She tells me to go run an errand if needed. I have run out to the store when needed. I like her a lot. They sent two other women and they were good but not like this woman. She’s top notch.

Ask for a replacement. I show this woman that I appreciate her. Mom says thanks to her also. She deserves that.

I don’t know if it’s against policy rules but when I was at the store I bought her child art supplies because she said her kid likes art. She was happy to receive it and said her daughter would use them.

The agency asked me if I had a preference of who I liked best. I thought that was nice. They told me our aide likes coming to our house and she was glad that we selected her. So, I wouldn’t hesitate to try another aide if I were you.
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I would say the agency needs to replace her. I have a hard problem with accents. I have asked for someone who can speak English better. I apologize but on a phone its just too hard. To be honest, I think its done or purpose so the aide can act like they have no idea what ur saying. Please, don't judge me. I had this problem when I worked. I called on a different number one time and the person spoke perfect English.
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I would say if they are not doing their job, and leaving dirty dishes, or not washing properly and if they are supposed to clean not doing that then you have a right to request another caregiver.
If possible keep the one that is from the agency and if you can hire others from another agency if you can not get issues resolved.
It might be best to request a meeting with the manager either at the office or at your home at some time when there is no caregiver there. (Just so that conversations are not over heard)
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Can you change agencies? Yes you can refuse to let the aides in, just make sure you call the agency ASAP. I know it’s a new agency but they are already ignoring your concerns and that’s not good.
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