Do I need a personal caregiving contract showing my status as roommate sharing caregiver?

Johnjoe - the OP explains how the sister figures into this in reply #8.

I would be sure to get a lawyer, 3rd party, and sit down as a family to discuss this all and put it in writing. I would suggest a POA other than sister as others have stated. As for care, be sure you are ready for it. My mom has Alzheimer's. Early on my sister and I shared care giving with our step-dad. My sister did more days than I did due to our differing schedules. We would take mom for the daytime and do things with her, shower, hair appointments, movies, take her with us to work, etc. Step-dad covered dinner and bedtime. As the disease progressed,

Sorry phone posted before finished. As she progressed, we needed more assistance. I started going 5 evenings, plus the days, and fixing dinner, feeding mom, getting her to bed. Farther progression, I spoke with work and they allowed me to work mostly from home and go to reduced hours. My husband started coming out at night and staying with me for dinner and the night. My step-dad "gifts" us the amount if money I lost by reducing my hours. Going back and forth between 2 houses, 45 minutes apart became too much. We have children and grand children near us. At the point, stage 7, we have moved mom to our house. We have more support here when needed. It is a little hard on my step-dad but he knows there is room here if he wants to stay here too. We take mom out to visit him twice a week and I make dinner. I also stalk food that is easy for him to eat or prep. All you can do is your best. It is a tremendous amount of work so be sure you are prepared. I have a hospital bed. My mom is totally incontinent... That means pads, changing, messy... Just be ready. She has to be hand fed. Dressed, showered, hair washed, moved to wheelchair...recliner...wheelchair...bed...tough on my back. Meds need to be given. I have to watch for bowel issues, her body is forgetting how, and regulate the food and meds to be sure she goes, but not too often. This is a big challenge.
I was so specific because you need to be prepared to provide all this care. I am and luckily my husband and kids help, and my step dad does what he can. Hope this helps you be better prepared. I would not change it and love being able to care for my mom. She we be with us to the end.

Sorry Rainmom, I missed that....and Me going of on a rant.

No need to apologize- it happens.

My thought...if you care for Mom with no pay then you should live there for free. What you would be doing would cost Mom thousands in caregivers around the clock. Why pay for rent and utilities. I would talk to a lawyer. If you pay, you should get larger share than the other two. I can see your brothers point. I would look at other options first. See what is available in Moms area. Maybe there is a senior community or a nice AL. County may have services she can use. I would not give up what I worked for or the freedom you finally have. I would not rent out my house. I understand not selling. Same problem here. I took my Mom in 2 yrs ago. She has Dementia and was declining. I'm it. I took her in hoping that house would sell quickly and I could place her in an AL. After a year, house didn't sell. She had enough money for a year in an AL. I'm 67 and 5ft tall. The two times she fell someone was here. Otherwise, I couldn't have gotten her up. I was doing things that a CNA does. And, I was a 24/7 caretaker. TG for Daycare. She went 3xs a week from 8 to 2:30. Gave us some time together. If you decide that u will care for Mom, get some kind of paper made up what is expected out of you and stick by it. Sister sounds self centered. People like her are the worst.

You don't have to accept what she wants!

Do not move into your mother's home to be a full time caregiver. Do not do this. You will regret it, deeply, you will lose precious years off of your life. (I DID.) You are insane if you think this is going to work out, I would not do it, I would consult an attorney about all the houses and finances and for future Medicaid planning so mom can go into a nursing home.

It takes me between 15 to 20 hours a week to do P.O.A. [financial & health] to take care of mom & that's with her in a nursing home - living with her would add many hours too ... what with making meals & clean up count on 2 in morning, 1.5 over lunch, 3 over dinner & 1.5 over bedtime = 8 a day = 54 a week & that's without major cleaning or yard work or laundry - don't pay anything to do that job & when did you last work those sort of hours - in fact mom should be giving you something for that time

Tell sis & mom you are too old to work those hours - if you lose your mind & agree to go there then stipulate a yard guy, cleaning lady, going out for 2 lunches & 2 dinners a week, paid vacation every 8 weeks of 1 week -

Your house can be rented out & after 1 [or less] year it will go month to month because with 30 or 60 days notice you can cancel a rental if family [READ YOU] moves back in so it won't be lost to you but write out at what point you bail - but best not to go there in first place - remember your name is not spelt 'DOORMAT' - make your stand now or forever keep quiet

Something not yet mentioned is that at mom's needs increase and possibly she becomes angry that she is not getting every demand met AND as time goes on you burn-out, your relationship with your mom, and other family members will become damaged. The elderly can both need and want more care than one person can provide, and stop appreciating your sacrifices. Also, after being isolated by providing 24/7 care for mom, what life will you have left once mom is gone?

There are so many good answers here. I want to say you need to heed them. Resentment can build quickly as a care giver even if you fight against the emotion. Your sister is setting you up with control. You do the work and she has the say. Have you considered co Trustees? There is nothing wrong about you being paid for doing services for your mom. Set it aside for when she or you need it. The desire to care for your mom with love can slowly be replaced by resentment as your life revolves around care giving.