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In my mother's case; she often decides she wants to give clothing away - she has dementia - or she throws items away if she wants something new. The nurses take it and put it in a bag in a back room. They have even found things in the waste basket and taken them out and washed and returned.
It is so frustrating; especially the socks. She has swollen ankles and I have to buy her diabetic socks and they are expensive; her name is on everything with a permanent sharpie pen - but, still things get lost. And anyone I have ever talked to has the same problem, unfortunately.
Your loved one will only get upset if you ask her where her things are. She cannot remember nor control her own life let alone her clothing. Take her out of the loop and ask the staff for suggestions. They, too, have other things to do and people to take care of and cannot watch where clothing ends up if it is not obvious.
Coolmama is especially spot-on about not really making the MIA stuff a point as all it does is make your parent more anxious/agitated.....
I kinda have my mom down to a uniform of navy & grey pants and got her 4 sets of 5 all the same long sleeve blouses and 2 sets of 5 sweater vests with pockets. Every visit in I swap out 2 and leave 2 - the laundry is super harsh at the NH and everything will break down fiber wise eventually. Plus some of her old clothes. For her it works as it reinforces what is hers and makes it less worrisome decision making in getting dressed (she still does this on her own).Yep it's boring but trying to do cute and fashionable can only work if someone can go in each & every day.
Personally I find the shoe situation hysterical as it seems that almost all the ladies own the same two pairs of SAS shoes. The day that I have those on my feet it's all over for me I think.
At both the NH my mom has been in, I was required to fill out form listing her personal possessions and sign off on any responsibility by the NH as to their liability. If something is of value - real or sentimental, please don't leave it @ NH.
My mom's clothes are sweat pants and long sleeved thsirts, year round now. Plus a few sweaters.
She "needs" to feel like she has a lot of clothes because she was a hoarder. There's a ton of stuff in her closet, but if it disappeared it would be no great loss. There's really only about 8-9 outfits she really wears anymore.
The NH laundry is HOT wash, HOT dry, so she doesn't need anything that can't take the heat - literally. It is shocking what stores want for "old lady pants". Those polyester elastic waisted pants that have matching blouses and jackets. They are collections that look like Garanimals for senior ladies. I am not paying $40-50+ per pair. I went with all the colors of $6 sweat pants for mom instead.
Like others said, other residents will take things, or the person will put something down and mislay it themselves. I find other people's clothes in mom's closet sometimes and just take it to the nurse's station. Teeth get mislaid, shoes, clothes, everything can get mixed up in that kind of setting.
The idea of keeping mom in nice clothes and nice things from home around her is a very ideal sentiment that is rarely possible. Clothes & things need to be very practical and replaceable.
You may want to speak with the NH social worker about this. It is possible that another resident with dementia took them. When my Mom was in for rehab there was a man who took another man's toothbrush almost every day and threw it away. Some of the aides at this place were downright lazy and couldn't seem to read the "Family does laundry" signs either. The first " 5 star facility" my Mom was in had aides who were hoping I wouldn't come back for some plants in fancy containers because they wanted them for themselves and they even told me this when I came back for the plants the day after Mom was rushed to the hospital. I never sent her back to this place. Is there another resident with a name similar to your Mom's that could have gotten the clothing? For what these nursing homes charge they sure cause a lot of strife.
But one time I was out sick for a few days and notice more than half the clothes were missing from Mom's closet. I asked the Nurse/Aide and she said maybe the facility did the wash if the hamper was too full. Sure enough the next day the clothes were back in the closet nice and clean.
Glad I had read about laundry and nursing homes long before my Mom ever needed one, so I was prepared. I didn't take anything of value that might disappear. One time I was searching for Mom's glasses, looked high and low. Found them under the hospital bed back in a corner which I guess they got pushed when housekeeping was cleaning the floor.
I can imagine bar code labels on clothing to help sort the laundry, microchips embedded in items like dentures and glasses, room doors that only admit the rightful residents and staff with thumb print locks or maybe some type of smart bracelet (hmm, that could do double duty as a tracker). If they want to leave their room doors open during the day there could be some kind of half door or screen door that would still give them that ability.