What can I do when a nursing home has misplaced or stolen all my mothers clothing?

Some places that care for dementia and Alzheimer's patients tell you in advance that they will not have all their clothes within a couple of days. The patients misplace them. Other patients think they are theirs and take them. Remember, every patient there has memory and dementia problems. They do not know what they are doing and think things they see are theirs and rooms they go in are theirs. Items get lost in the laundry with or without labels. The best advice I can give is always use a distinctive color in all clothing or a certain type outfit or brand of clothing.
Your loved one will only get upset if you ask her where her things are. She cannot remember nor control her own life let alone her clothing. Take her out of the loop and ask the staff for suggestions. They, too, have other things to do and people to take care of and cannot watch where clothing ends up if it is not obvious.

We had this same problem with GMO's nursing home, very disturbing but also understanding if you take a tour of their communal laundry room. Even if you mark their clothes, they are all washed together, and if you did laundry for a couple 100 residents pretty soon something would get mixed up. And we all knkw how socks go missing in our own homes. Best advice I ever read was (here?) to go buy replacement clothes at your local thrift store or Goodwill. Some days they have a tag sale and you can get really good deals then!

It is truly common for items to be missing, etc. Happens all the time, unfortunately - but that doesn't make it right. My mother lives at a facility and often some of her clothing is missing; but never all of it - that is not right. Do you live close enough to your mother to do her laundry so it doesn't have to be done there? My mother lives 2 hours away; so I'm unable to do her laundry on a regular basis.

In my mother's case; she often decides she wants to give clothing away - she has dementia - or she throws items away if she wants something new. The nurses take it and put it in a bag in a back room. They have even found things in the waste basket and taken them out and washed and returned.

It is so frustrating; especially the socks. She has swollen ankles and I have to buy her diabetic socks and they are expensive; her name is on everything with a permanent sharpie pen - but, still things get lost. And anyone I have ever talked to has the same problem, unfortunately.

Ask to see the Lost and Found room. Yes ROOM. It will be huge.

Thank you Nancy H, I put my Mothers name in everything right down to her socks with permanent red marker,and when i say the took everything I mean it. and the depressed state it left my mother in is terrible.Im going to do my best to report them to any and everyone i can,and also get her out of there as soon as possible.any help or advice will be apreciated

Wintersun - I don't think it's reasonable to ask the care staff to lock every person's room when they aren't in there. Those folks are already so busy with care activities. Don't put anything in there you need to keep or see again.

My mom's clothes are sweat pants and long sleeved thsirts, year round now. Plus a few sweaters.

She "needs" to feel like she has a lot of clothes because she was a hoarder. There's a ton of stuff in her closet, but if it disappeared it would be no great loss. There's really only about 8-9 outfits she really wears anymore.

The NH laundry is HOT wash, HOT dry, so she doesn't need anything that can't take the heat - literally. It is shocking what stores want for "old lady pants". Those polyester elastic waisted pants that have matching blouses and jackets. They are collections that look like Garanimals for senior ladies. I am not paying $40-50+ per pair. I went with all the colors of $6 sweat pants for mom instead.

Like others said, other residents will take things, or the person will put something down and mislay it themselves. I find other people's clothes in mom's closet sometimes and just take it to the nurse's station. Teeth get mislaid, shoes, clothes, everything can get mixed up in that kind of setting.

The idea of keeping mom in nice clothes and nice things from home around her is a very ideal sentiment that is rarely possible. Clothes & things need to be very practical and replaceable.

I was thinking, if they just had one key to every door. Same lock same key. The patients stay in the day room most of the time anyway. Least they could do is stop them from wandering around all the time. They just don't want to be bothered. Cost $5,000 a month, and the care is minimal. My moms cold all the time, so sweatpants and long sleeved shirts is perfect. I bought her 4 pair in different colors. I just want her to be comfortable, I think that is the most important thing.

Also, when I was there one day last week, my mother was wearing a scarf, hat and gloves. I gave her mine. It was 64 degrees, one of the girls who works there told me. A window was left open, she said. I doubt that. I had to wear my jacket it was so cold. And, it ''s aways cold. I don't think sick old people should be sitting around in those temperatures. I wish there were something I could do.

Years ago my uncle was in the skilled nursing section of a home. I was told I could go down to laundry room and look for the items. I did find a few items. While down there i spoke to the head of this department and she took me into her office and printed out iron on labels with my uncles full name. Told me to come back if I needed more . Having his name printed on a label did make them easier to find instead of looking for a worn out sharpie name The nurses on his floor told me there was a washer and dryer on each floor and if I wanted to do his laundry while I was there I could. I just kept soap and softener in his room and did his laundry myself. Things that they washed were faded in about 2 weeks. His clothes lasted longer when I did his wash myself while I was there. Even if things were damp when I wanted to leave I just put on hangers in his closet. He had enough outfits for two weeks. If I couldn't get there, I would just call and ask them to send his wash down to the laundry.

I saw my mother's clothes on other people and it made me so upset. But some I didn't like anyway. She didn't recognize them though. The AL said they would reimburse me, but I told them no, they weren't worth anything. So I bring them home and wash them, when ever she gets out of them. I even had to put a big note on the door that I wash them.