The very nature of an 'emergency' means that you really can't prepare for it. If you are 86 years old, suffering from a variety of issues and wanting to remain in your home, I suggest you hire help to come in daily NOW. BEFORE an emergency arises. Interview a few potential care givers to find one you click with; then hire him or her for a few hours a day or 20 hours a week. Allow the person to help you clean the house, do chores, run errands, etc. ALLOW it, is the key word. Depend on this person to help you with whatever you need help with. If and when the time comes that you find yourself in a dire situation, that care giver will be there to help you even more.
The key is not to wait for an emergency, but to see the handwriting on the wall now and hire in home help. It's much cheaper than going into an Assisted Living residence and enables you to stay in your own home. You can increase the hours as needed.
Ok you're 86 and live alone. Do you have any of the wearable alarm devices in case you fall and cannot get yourself up off the floor - a common serious emergency among the elderly - that would contact emergency services? If not I would get that right away. In addition, as lealonnie1 stated, get a professional caregiver to come to your home daily to take care of you personally (bathing dressing) plus chores including taking you to medical appointments.
Nobody is 'in need of help' until they're in need of help. By then, it's usually too late, they are rushed to the ER and then rehab, and that's when the decision to live independently is taken away from them. That's when assisted living becomes the only option, which is what happened to my father at 90.
The best way to stay in your home for as long as possible is to ask for and get help; at 86, I'm sure you need help with certain things like cleaning, for example. I'm 63 and could sure as heck use help with cleaning, not to mention other errands!
It would be nice if we could all get exactly what we want, exactly HOW we want to 100% of the time, but that's not how life works. Ask yourself how badly you want to stay in your own home for the remainder of your life, and what lengths you are willing to go to in order to accomplish that.
You have to answer a few questions for yourself first. Look around your house. Is it accessible? Are there carpets that will make using a walker or wheelchair difficult? If so remove them and get solid flooring. And I would strongly advise a water resistant flooring. Do you have stairs? Can you make living on 1 floor possible? If so do it now. Large bathroom so that a wheel chair can get in and move around. Roll in shower (zero threshold) "ADA" height toilet. Place grab bars near toilet and shower. Towel bars should also be grab bars only because you will use them as such. Wide door ways so a wheelchair can easily get through. And there is a possibility that equipment like a Sit to Stand or a Hoyer Lift may be needed so wide doorways for that possibility. IF these adaptations can not be made I would rethink the idea of staying in your house and stat looking at a Continuing Care Community. You can start in Independent Living and transition to Assisted Living if necessary and many have Skilled Care and Memory Care as well. We all want to stay living in our homes but if they are not suited for the quality of life you want what joy is there is staying?
When we age, an emergency can happen at any time. Falls are the number one situations that can be a matter of life and death. I highly recommend a fall detection system. I made the mistake of getting one for my dad that he had to press the button, problem was he was knocked out and was unable to press the button. If I had gotten one with fall detection, this would not have been issue. The good news is that his housekeeping service was just down stairs and heard a loud noise, and came up stairs. However, this could have been a very bad situation in any other scenario. I highly recommend getting help NOW!!! It is too late when you are desperate because you can't care for yourself. The reason I say this is it takes time to get to know your worker and the feeling of trust. If you wait you may end up with someone that you are uncomfortable with. At least if you hire while it isn't necessary, you can train or fire until you are satisfied with the helper.
If you want to stay in your home, stay in your home. No one can force you to leave your home, unless you are mentally incapable of making decisions for yourself.
Good advice given so far. Simplify and declutter your house to accommodate changes in your future. There are professionals who can help with that, if you have money. Start with an eldercare manager and then hire caregivers who can help you a few hours each day or who can live with you.
If you do not have money, downsize and move to a smaller place of your choice. I love the beach, so if I were 86, I would buy a small beachfront condo and watch beautiful young men on the beach from my balcony.
Get POA document and end of life plans in order with attorney referral by someone that has earned your trust. Video tape or record audio of those wishes and give copy to POA. Check into PACE if in your area, so when you need help they will help at your own home.
I can only share my personal experience with my mother. First, you need to realistically assess your finances. Is there enough money to pay for upkeep (lawn maintenance, gutter cleaning, etc) and major repairs on your home, taxes, and utilities for years to come? In addition, is there enough money to pay for some in home care (cleaning, meals, help with bathing and dressing) to start, and then 24 hour care, if needed? Check on the cost of that. Do you have a family member that is able and willing to manage all your finances for you? Do you have all needed documents in order such as a will, POA, health care surrogate, etc? Have you consulted with a realistic elder care attorney? If you have children, they are also aging, facing health issues and trying to plan for their retirements or may still be working. Your friends are aging too. My mother let her house fall down around her, did not plan well, estranged her family, and expected her friends to run all her errands. This led to BIG financial mistakes and multiple medical emergencies and placed a great burden on me to try and resolve all her problems in a short period of time. If you don’t have family, can you afford to hire or appoint a guardian? Contact your local agency on aging to see what services might help you now and in the future. I commend you for reaching out and planning in advance!
Dear Boca, Good planning :) Agencies are a mess to deal with. Expensive and not consistant. Try sites like Care.com, Sittercity.com. Whatever is available in your state. Hire an independent person. The sites allow you to post exactly what you need. I am a caregiver myself and have taken care of and helped senior ffriends, most over 3 years or more. Good luck
My grandmother was also able to live alone into her 80's - good for you! Things to consider:
What chronic health problems do you deal with? Talk to your doctor and do an online search of possible problems associated with your health - i.e, arthritis tends to continue to get worse with time; diabetes needs frequent monitoring of your glucose levels, monitoring feet, and watching for infections; high blood pressure or high cholesterol puts you at risk of heart attack and strokes...
Create a medical notebook and keep it in a bright folder near the door. I insisted on my grandmother having a written record in a red binder of all her medical history, surgical history, current medications and their schedule, allergies, medical insurance info and doctors. If an emergency were to occur, EMS and ER personnel will need this info. Consider putting notices on the door of where to find this information.
Get your legal and financials in order? A good family lawyer can finish all the documents you need in 1 session: Powers of attorney (medical and financial), will, living will, do not resuscitate (if that is what you desire)... You can have most of your bills paid automatically from your bank accounts. The bank can also assign somebody to manage/advise your portfolio and assets.
What does your support network look like? Who are the family members and/or friends that you are in communication with frequently? It is better for mental health, and in case of emergencies, if you have a couple of people who you check in with frequently. Nobody wants to be the poster person for "I've fallen and I can't get up". Devise a simple system of daily contact and let them know what to do if you don't answer the phone or door. Consider giving a copy of your keys to a few trusted people. Let everyone know who the "holders of the keys" are.
Being a senior does not mean you need to sell everything to move in with family, assisted living or a nursing home. By taking steps now, you stay as independent as possible for as long as possible.
Emergency get help. Call 911. And go to hospital immediately. My 90 year old aunt knew she needed to go to hospital but called her 80 year old cousin to take her and straightened house first. She survived. But if you need to go, go. And getting others to take you is a burden on them. They aren't trained to help.
Keep your home! I wish my mother had. If you need to one day apply for Medicaid, your home is one asset that cannot be taken, at least in Kansas. States differ, but I think a place to live is one they'll give you. Definitely get legal/financial affairs in order. Living Trust/Will/Power of Attorney. With a living trust, probate is not necessary, and probate can be time consuming and expensive. Even if your assets go to charities when you die, get a living trust. They're not expensive, especially compared to probate.
With elder care attorney review assets and plan for long term care. If you need assisted living , learn how you can structure assets and finances and potential payment through medicaid. You don't have to use it but you can know what's possible.
Falls are probably the number one issue for seniors and a broken hip is almost a certain path to a NH. Start by mitigation of the fall risks.
• If you have steps into your house, perhaps now is the time to have a ramp built. • Remove ALL tripping hazards! • Small throw rugs are appropriately named- they "throw" you. Get rid of them all. • If you are unsteady on your feet, especially getting out of bed during the night (most seniors are), keep a quad cane or walker near the bed. • Absolutely have a one of those emergency button devices. I strongly recommend the wrist type, waterproof so you can wear it in the shower. Every senior I know who had the necklace, ALWAYS removed it at night saying "I get tangled up in it if I wear it to bed." My grandmother had 3 major falls in her later years. They were all at night and each time she had removed that necklace, so she laid in the floor for many hours before someone found her. • Get into the habit of keeping your cell phone charged and on you at all times. • Declutter your home. Now is the time to start getting rid of things. You need plenty of space for a walker or wheelchair to maneuver. • Use nightlights. Keep the path from the bed to the toilet well lit so you won't be stumbling around in the dark.
• If you can afford these things, I'd go on FB Marketplace or Craigslist and buy the following: motorized hospital bed - sometimes people GIVE them away, lift chair, shower seat, rollater, quad cane. I've seen very good prices on these things when someone has lost their elderly loved one and is selling this stuff. I'd get a new xtra-long mattress for the bed though. • Others here will point out that Medicare pays for the items above when you have been hospitalized and need them, BUT, it can be a pain and you have to have friends or family available to go let them into the house to set up the bed, move other furniture, etc. Again, this is about you preparing NOW. • Take advantage of modern technology. If you do not already know how to do so, have someone set up and show you how to use Uber and food delivery apps.
A lot of people have given some very good advice. Please consider it all very carefully. i am 86, strong, healthy, and independent. I live alone andlove it. I will never live with anyone else in their home nor will i allow anyone to live in my home. I started paying for long term care insurance when I was 62. It cost only $43 a month then and it still costs only $97 a month. LTCI is essential forthose weho do not wish to share a household with anyone. Assisted living facilities do differ greatly. I have visited more than 16 of them. I have picked my 2 favorites both of which are in excellent locations where hopefully any young loved ones I might still have could frequently visit me.I have notified my son and my doctors of the facilities I would prefer if I do become disabled and or incompetent.I hope I never ever have to use my LTCI.It is there if I ever need it to avoid living with someone and or having a "caregiver".Right now, I enjoy managing all my own affairs financial household and other. I hire people when i need help.I hope i can die in my own lovely cozy home. However, the LTCI is there as a less bad alternative to living with an unhappy annoyed "caregiver".May God have mercy on us all. May God bles you , protect you, and strengthen you.
Hello, beautiful,!! Just want to tell you I greatly admire the way you're handling your affairs. God created a beautiful soul, and a very smart cookie, when he created you. RARE..! Want you to know also, that not all caregivers are "bad." There are some, like me, that are dedicated to their profession - over 45 years. I specialize in seniors with Alzheimer's. I love my job, my seniors, and they love me. I wish you all the best, and when your journey ends, may you just simply drift off to GOD'S waiting arms. Blessings, prayers.....
Important addendum- If you, I, or anyone decides and or has a doctor decide that we are going to be moving into assisted living,, then obviously we need arrangements to have someone trustworthy to sell our home and to use the proceeds to pay for some our needs if necessary and or to leave it to our designated heirs.I am giving my son POA so he can take care of these matters if necessary. God bless you everyone.
Boca, do you have a POA (Power of Attorney)? Any family that you trust or a close friend that would be willing to step up?
If not, I recommend that you find a professional one. www.nelf.org is the best place to find a certified elder law attorney that can get all of your legal affairs and end of life wishes in writing and they have fiduciaries that can act as your legal POA. This will ensure that everything possible that can be done to honor your wishes is done. Because you will be at the mercy of the system if something happens and you need help and can't speak for yourself or you can not go home without care in place.
I also recommend that you plan for the event that will not allow you to safely remain in your house.
Being unwilling to do what is needed for the situation creates untold stress and heartache for everyone involved, it is better to come to terms with the reality that things happen and shoot all of our best layed plans to the dirt. So be willing if the time comes that being at home alone is no longer a viable solution. It will help you get on with life easier.
Having a written plan and someone that can help you is the best way to ensure that you can be at home as long as possible. Accidents don't send advance notice so we can only prepare the best we can for all possibilities and have the paperwork in place so others know and can act on our behalf.
Good for you that you are planning now to ensure that your wishes are known and you have a plan so they can be implemented.
First, let me congratulate you on being one smart cookie.! I'm gonna assume you're referring to bringing "a caregiver" in home, if needed. As a self-employed caregiver, I would recommend that you look up agencies in your area; they usually have someone that will come to your home, evaluate your possible needs, - cover every area with them. Explain why you're doing this, and they will work up a plan that if the need should arise, all you'd have to do is call them. Call several, you need to be comfortable with you're dealing with. I admire you, and how you're handling your beautiful self.!! Prayers....
So much depends upon where you live and what your assets are to pay for care. Also what kind of family and friend support you have. It's really impossible to answer. Of course a real EMERGENCY is basically 911. I am 78, and already know what you are saying, because you come to the point where you understand that at some point you are going to need help. Good luck trying to figure out a support system that will help.
You also might want to contact your state Area Agency on Aging. They can assess your home safety, arrange for homemakers and personal care aides who will also do grocery shopping for you and provide personal care should you need. Goal of AAA is to keep elders living at home. There will be a fee for services.(sliding scale based upon your income) It doesn't hurt to ask for assessment and doesn't obligate you to accept. Local Senior Center can provide contact info.
Bringing in help if/when you need it (certainly you could hire them now, for the minimum hours the agency requires, just to get used to them and find a good fit) is an option, as is having a medical alert device, in case you fall and can't get up. Something to consider along with that alert is a lock box, like RE agents use, with a key to the house inside (uses a code or key for access), otherwise, how would anyone be able to get in to help you without damaging your house?
Now, assuming you only experience "normal" aging declines and can increase the amount of help you pay for, this should work okay. However, given the increased incidence of various forms of dementia along with strokes and hip or other fractures, there may come a time when living in your home isn't safe. If you have no relatives you can rely on to oversee your affairs, you need to find someone you DO trust, and visit EC atty to have DPOA and MPOA set up along with any other instructions for your care - these can be very specific, to fit you own needs and desires.
The problem with dementia is in most cases the person isn't aware they have it. It can lead to safety issues, medical issues, etc. While you have aides coming to help, they may be able to detect the changes, but again they may not or as in my mother's case, she refused to let them in, thinking at this point that she was fine! Dementia WILL lie to you! In her mind, she was independent and could cook - no and no.
We tried to keep mom in her condo as long as possible, but less than 2 months after hiring aides to mainly check on her, 1 hr/day only, with intent to increase time and what help was needed, that ended. At least she had me watching over all this and knowing we needed to do something else. It still took some time before all the cards were in place to get her into MC.
Before you or anyone might insist they will know, hear this: mom's plans DID include moving to AL if/when she felt it was time. Once dementia kicked in, THAT was the last place she would consider! In her case, she actually injured her leg just days prior to the move (EC atty said DPOA was NOT enough to force her to move, and suggested guardianship. facility we chose wouldn't do committal, so we had to resort to fibbing, and the leg injury, which was serious, played a part.) Had we not had the move planned, this injury (developed cellulitis, serious infection) could have killed her before my next trip to check on her and bring supplies!
So, if you have no family, perhaps you could choose a trusted atty, clergy person, or a friend to be assigned as POA, or if needed, guardian. If you haven't assigned anyone and the worst case happens where you do need oversight and placement, the state will take over, appoint a guardian and you will have NO say where you live or what happens to your assets.
Imho, you would be wise to start with your town's COA (Council on Aging). There they should have a dedicated elder care worker and also a social woker on staff.
I moved to independent living when I turned 70. I was younger than most residents. I thought I might feel out of place but I didn't. I thought I might be bored but I wasn't. I am now 78 and have more serious health issues to deal with. Have been in hospital several times. I have my own car and can drive so at times I drove myself to the hospital. I have also driven other residents to the hospital at times. I have also had to call EMS to come and get me. They are wonderful. We have a nurse during the day who called them for me twice. I was not a very social person before but now I enjoy meeting other residents and getting to know them. Many different types of people here. We also have many group activities that are fun. Never feel lonely but I do spend time alone. I have a very nice apartment. People who live here are not intrusive so you can have as much or as little company as you want. I can get things done here when I need help. I feel more self sufficient living here now that I am not in great shape because help is available if needed. I could have moved here sooner. It is good to know there are people around. I am glad that I don't have to depend on family as I don't have anyone but reading on this site, relatives are not always so helpful and I would never want to use anyone to take care of me when they have their own lives.
facilities have fun things to do, keep you entertained, group outings, or until covid.. but don't limit yourself. Home is where the heart is.. If you have family and pets around you now, then perhaps, but don't disgard other options.. take free tours with your close family, and make a day of it with your family and the facility. Not just one facility, but a few over a course of a week to a month. No worries, no need to worry about it, but keep your options open.. Do make sure the facilities are close to your family.. driving distance, preferably minutes away, not hours away.. make it an adventure to tour these places, they usally feed you lunch.
Make sure you have your living trust, POLST, DNR, and other forms in order. Should you have a stroke, who is your POA for financial and health? What are your wishes should you not be able to speak or communicate? ARe you nearby family children, relatives? friends? do you have a button in case you fall and cannot get up? Is your home equiped with a security system in case of an emergency? Do you have a caretaker who can help you? I hope you have kids nearby or close relative...If not, ask the closest relative now to help you, and stay in touch... If not now, you will need someone who can step in and help... IT IS OK TO ASK FOR HELP AND SUPPORT..... :) My LO did... and she is within a 5 minute drive from me... 1 minute, if I need to floor it... honesly.. it comforts me to get there quickly... just in case...
Goody 2 Shoes seems to have a great attitude and she seems to live in a very nice place. I hope I can be as happy if I ever have tomove from my lovely home.I have had many lovely friends who were very happy in assisted living.However, I knew others who were in truly terrible places. It is so important to try to have LTCI before becoming disabled.Also, apparently location of a facility is very important. The ones in or near my neighborhood are lovely.Others farther away are really terrible and unsafe places.
I too worry about needing emerg. help in the future, Boca. Our situations are diff., though; I'm married and would like (and think we need) to move out of this great big house (which is nowhere within walking distance of *anything*) & into something more managable but Hubby refuses. So I'm constantly thinking and worrying about how to deal with what will need to be dealt with sooner rather than later. (And no kids to help us.) Very good advice from everyone in this discussion; but one thing to remember about indep. living and AL places: they are very expensive. Even hiring in-home help isn't cheap either. So I don't know what the answer is. There's been some talk recently about something called co-housing for the elderly which replaces both indep. and assisted living and is supposed to be less expensive (although I've heard it's not *that* less expensive) and it sounds great; but just as soon as somebody has a stroke or a bad enough fall, it's NH or MC time.
So whether you want to stay in your existing home or not, there's lots that needs to be solved. So I salute you for thinking about it now; I wish I could get my Hubby to think about it for us, but no way. Good luck.
My mother lived in her home until the last couple of weeks when she needed constant care. She wisely lived in a one story home and only had step to get in and out of the house. Had it been needed there was room to add a ramp. When we built our house we looked at what we needed to do if one of our parents needed to move in with us. Garage was built with extra space in mind to add a ramp. 1st floor bath was changed from a half to a full and made larger to accommodate a wheel chair. Walk in shower with a seat, toilet placed so that rails could be added on both sides, pedestal sink so chair can fit under, no extra cabinets to get in the way. Two rooms identified as rooms to convert to bedrooms on 1st floor, dining room and office with extra large closet in area off DR and large hanging space in Laundry Room for clothing access. Now that are parents have passed I am still glad we made those choices in case we need them as we age. My ability to get up the stairs can be difficult with knee and back issues so when the time comes I will be ready to live on one floor as needed.
The key is not to wait for an emergency, but to see the handwriting on the wall now and hire in home help. It's much cheaper than going into an Assisted Living residence and enables you to stay in your own home. You can increase the hours as needed.
Good luck!
The best way to stay in your home for as long as possible is to ask for and get help; at 86, I'm sure you need help with certain things like cleaning, for example. I'm 63 and could sure as heck use help with cleaning, not to mention other errands!
It would be nice if we could all get exactly what we want, exactly HOW we want to 100% of the time, but that's not how life works. Ask yourself how badly you want to stay in your own home for the remainder of your life, and what lengths you are willing to go to in order to accomplish that.
Look around your house.
Is it accessible? Are there carpets that will make using a walker or wheelchair difficult? If so remove them and get solid flooring. And I would strongly advise a water resistant flooring.
Do you have stairs? Can you make living on 1 floor possible? If so do it now.
Large bathroom so that a wheel chair can get in and move around.
Roll in shower (zero threshold)
"ADA" height toilet.
Place grab bars near toilet and shower. Towel bars should also be grab bars only because you will use them as such.
Wide door ways so a wheelchair can easily get through.
And there is a possibility that equipment like a Sit to Stand or a Hoyer Lift may be needed so wide doorways for that possibility.
IF these adaptations can not be made I would rethink the idea of staying in your house and stat looking at a Continuing Care Community. You can start in Independent Living and transition to Assisted Living if necessary and many have Skilled Care and Memory Care as well.
We all want to stay living in our homes but if they are not suited for the quality of life you want what joy is there is staying?
Good advice given so far. Simplify and declutter your house to accommodate changes in your future. There are professionals who can help with that, if you have money. Start with an eldercare manager and then hire caregivers who can help you a few hours each day or who can live with you.
If you do not have money, downsize and move to a smaller place of your choice. I love the beach, so if I were 86, I would buy a small beachfront condo and watch beautiful young men on the beach from my balcony.
This is your life. Live how you want to live it.
Good planning :)
Agencies are a mess to deal with.
Expensive and not consistant.
Try sites like Care.com, Sittercity.com.
Whatever is available in your state.
Hire an independent person.
The sites allow you to post exactly what you need.
I am a caregiver myself and have taken care of and helped senior
ffriends, most over 3 years or more.
Good luck
What chronic health problems do you deal with?
Talk to your doctor and do an online search of possible problems associated with your health - i.e, arthritis tends to continue to get worse with time; diabetes needs frequent monitoring of your glucose levels, monitoring feet, and watching for infections; high blood pressure or high cholesterol puts you at risk of heart attack and strokes...
Create a medical notebook and keep it in a bright folder near the door. I insisted on my grandmother having a written record in a red binder of all her medical history, surgical history, current medications and their schedule, allergies, medical insurance info and doctors. If an emergency were to occur, EMS and ER personnel will need this info. Consider putting notices on the door of where to find this information.
Get your legal and financials in order?
A good family lawyer can finish all the documents you need in 1 session: Powers of attorney (medical and financial), will, living will, do not resuscitate (if that is what you desire)... You can have most of your bills paid automatically from your bank accounts. The bank can also assign somebody to manage/advise your portfolio and assets.
What does your support network look like?
Who are the family members and/or friends that you are in communication with frequently? It is better for mental health, and in case of emergencies, if you have a couple of people who you check in with frequently. Nobody wants to be the poster person for "I've fallen and I can't get up". Devise a simple system of daily contact and let them know what to do if you don't answer the phone or door. Consider giving a copy of your keys to a few trusted people. Let everyone know who the "holders of the keys" are.
Being a senior does not mean you need to sell everything to move in with family, assisted living or a nursing home. By taking steps now, you stay as independent as possible for as long as possible.
That could be a huge problem for some and a house needs people or it deteriorates.
I am curious how that gets dealt with. Thank you.
• If you have steps into your house, perhaps now is the time to have a ramp built.
• Remove ALL tripping hazards!
• Small throw rugs are appropriately named- they "throw" you. Get rid of them all.
• If you are unsteady on your feet, especially getting out of bed during the night (most seniors are), keep a quad cane or walker near the bed.
• Absolutely have a one of those emergency button devices. I strongly recommend the wrist type, waterproof so you can wear it in the shower. Every senior I know who had the necklace, ALWAYS removed it at night saying "I get tangled up in it if I wear it to bed." My grandmother had 3 major falls in her later years. They were all at night and each time she had removed that necklace, so she laid in the floor for many hours before someone found her.
• Get into the habit of keeping your cell phone charged and on you at all times.
• Declutter your home. Now is the time to start getting rid of things. You need plenty of space for a walker or wheelchair to maneuver.
• Use nightlights. Keep the path from the bed to the toilet well lit so you won't be stumbling around in the dark.
• If you can afford these things, I'd go on FB Marketplace or Craigslist and buy the following: motorized hospital bed - sometimes people GIVE them away, lift chair, shower seat, rollater, quad cane. I've seen very good prices on these things when someone has lost their elderly loved one and is selling this stuff. I'd get a new xtra-long mattress for the bed though.
• Others here will point out that Medicare pays for the items above when you have been hospitalized and need them, BUT, it can be a pain and you have to have friends or family available to go let them into the house to set up the bed, move other furniture, etc. Again, this is about you preparing NOW.
• Take advantage of modern technology. If you do not already know how to do so, have someone set up and show you how to use Uber and food delivery apps.
If not, I recommend that you find a professional one. www.nelf.org is the best place to find a certified elder law attorney that can get all of your legal affairs and end of life wishes in writing and they have fiduciaries that can act as your legal POA. This will ensure that everything possible that can be done to honor your wishes is done. Because you will be at the mercy of the system if something happens and you need help and can't speak for yourself or you can not go home without care in place.
I also recommend that you plan for the event that will not allow you to safely remain in your house.
Being unwilling to do what is needed for the situation creates untold stress and heartache for everyone involved, it is better to come to terms with the reality that things happen and shoot all of our best layed plans to the dirt. So be willing if the time comes that being at home alone is no longer a viable solution. It will help you get on with life easier.
Having a written plan and someone that can help you is the best way to ensure that you can be at home as long as possible. Accidents don't send advance notice so we can only prepare the best we can for all possibilities and have the paperwork in place so others know and can act on our behalf.
Good for you that you are planning now to ensure that your wishes are known and you have a plan so they can be implemented.
Care.com is a great resource. Pay them using a payroll service Like those used for paying nannies, not cash, so the IRS doesn’t catch up with you.
Now, assuming you only experience "normal" aging declines and can increase the amount of help you pay for, this should work okay. However, given the increased incidence of various forms of dementia along with strokes and hip or other fractures, there may come a time when living in your home isn't safe. If you have no relatives you can rely on to oversee your affairs, you need to find someone you DO trust, and visit EC atty to have DPOA and MPOA set up along with any other instructions for your care - these can be very specific, to fit you own needs and desires.
The problem with dementia is in most cases the person isn't aware they have it. It can lead to safety issues, medical issues, etc. While you have aides coming to help, they may be able to detect the changes, but again they may not or as in my mother's case, she refused to let them in, thinking at this point that she was fine! Dementia WILL lie to you! In her mind, she was independent and could cook - no and no.
We tried to keep mom in her condo as long as possible, but less than 2 months after hiring aides to mainly check on her, 1 hr/day only, with intent to increase time and what help was needed, that ended. At least she had me watching over all this and knowing we needed to do something else. It still took some time before all the cards were in place to get her into MC.
Before you or anyone might insist they will know, hear this: mom's plans DID include moving to AL if/when she felt it was time. Once dementia kicked in, THAT was the last place she would consider! In her case, she actually injured her leg just days prior to the move (EC atty said DPOA was NOT enough to force her to move, and suggested guardianship. facility we chose wouldn't do committal, so we had to resort to fibbing, and the leg injury, which was serious, played a part.) Had we not had the move planned, this injury (developed cellulitis, serious infection) could have killed her before my next trip to check on her and bring supplies!
So, if you have no family, perhaps you could choose a trusted atty, clergy person, or a friend to be assigned as POA, or if needed, guardian. If you haven't assigned anyone and the worst case happens where you do need oversight and placement, the state will take over, appoint a guardian and you will have NO say where you live or what happens to your assets.
make it an adventure to tour these places, they usally feed you lunch.
ARe you nearby family children, relatives? friends? do you have a button in case you fall and cannot get up? Is your home equiped with a security system in case of an emergency?
Do you have a caretaker who can help you?
I hope you have kids nearby or close relative...If not, ask the closest relative now to help you, and stay in touch... If not now, you will need someone who can step in and help... IT IS OK TO ASK FOR HELP AND SUPPORT..... :)
My LO did... and she is within a 5 minute drive from me... 1 minute, if I need to floor it... honesly.. it comforts me to get there quickly... just in case...
Physician's Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment ( had to look this up)
But I don't think its needed if there is a Medical POA in place. My Moms was written like a living will. What she wanted and what she didn't want.
So whether you want to stay in your existing home or not, there's lots that needs to be solved. So I salute you for thinking about it now; I wish I could get my Hubby to think about it for us, but no way. Good luck.