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My Mom (88) wears a pull up incontinence product but complains that the crotch area is too wide. She has tried Depends Fit/Flex, Covidien and I even sent off for a sample pack of different brands for her to try. All brands so far seem to be really bulky and wide in the crotch area. And these are not the overnight style, either. The sample pack included: Select, Prevail and Tranquility.


Is there not a product made specifically for a woman's shape that is more narrow in the crotch area? Right now, she does not need super absorbency as she is able to make it to the bathroom most of the time.

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lol, I literally have had to tell mother about 20 times today that she is wearing a brief, She has asked, WHAT IS THIS and says ITS SO BIG
she wears those depends small but they have a huge pad in the middle- They are made to absorb quite a bit. We only have small accidents occasionally. So I am following this. I have even considered maxi pads ...
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Funny you should mention pads. Just this evening, Mom and I talked about using "incontinence" pads. Not sure what the difference is between that and a "feminine" pad, but I did skip over an article while researching incontinence products that stated what that difference is! Guess I should have read it.
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JoAnn29 Nov 16, 2018
Incontinence pads are made to absorb more liquid. Not good for bowel incontinence.
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Have you tried Poise underwear? I know they are nice. Look for them at your local Walmart bc they are much cheaper there or any supermarket. You can google it first to find out if the stores around you have them. You just type in ‘poise underwear on sale near me’ and it will pull it all out for you.
I used them for my mom. They too are contoured to fit a woman’s body. They also make a pad in different thickness as well.
I hope you find something your mom likes. I know how difficult this is. 🦋
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texasrdr22 Nov 19, 2018
It is difficult! At least she is willingly wearing the pullups, thick crotch and all. I plan to purchase Poise and one of the Tena products as well as the Assurance brand to see if there is anything that will be more comfy for her. Seems to me that several of these pullups brands are unisex and there is no way that will work! Seriously? Men and women are not shaped alike for the most part!
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Tena work hard on this point, though I can't promise any of their products will be perfectly comfortable. Try www.tenaprofessionals.us for information about this and continence care in general.

I agree that with any product your mother is going to notice the unfamiliar bulk, and I'm afraid it might just be a question of getting used to it :(

Then again, if she doesn't mind your asking personal questions, or if she'd be happy to consult a specialist continence care nurse perhaps, it might be worth checking that there isn't any other source of discomfort such as chafed skin, sores, or some kind of infection.
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texasrdr22 Nov 19, 2018
She started out with Depends Fit Flex and wore those for several years with no complaint. When she was in rehab for her broken hip, the facility provided Covidien, which she decided she liked. She wore those for about a year and now has decided the crotch is too wide. She seems to be a "between" size in everything. Medium is too tight and Large is too big. Same in shoes and clothes, too. It is frustrating!
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I'm afraid they are wide in the crotch because that's where they need to be most absorbent. I thought Always Discrete were a little less bulky but no doubt they have the same design as the rest. Texasdr has already mentioned trying the pads (look for incontinence pads, don't try menstrual ones), they start in very thin and barely there styles and go all the way up to very large and highly absorbent. They're a cheaper option too.
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texasrdr22 Nov 19, 2018
I will look for that brand. I think one of the problems (besides the inherent thickness of the crotch area in all products) could be my Mom's shape. She is wearing a size L and is now complaining that her thighs rub together! Could it be that bowl of M&M's by the recliner that is causing the problem?! At any rate, when I examine each product, I am dismayed by just how wide and thick the padding is. I can't see how that would be comfortable to wear under any circumstances.
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My Mom used the incontinence pads but they are not good for bowel problems, right?
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cwillie Nov 16, 2018
No, they aren't any good for bowel problems, but the OP says her mom mostly has light leakage when she can't get to the bathroom on time so I think incontinence pads would be my first choice.
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There is a company called Tena that makes what they call period panties. They are material and not the paper type, supposedly you can wear them rather than pads for your periods, maybe these would work for her since she has very light leakage.
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texasrdr22 Nov 19, 2018
Thank you for the suggestion. I will check into this option.
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If she does not leak a lot of urine, she could try one of the ultra thin maxi pads on the market that is normally used for menstruation.
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cwillie Nov 19, 2018
I don't see any reason to use menstrual pads unless you already have a stash in the back of the closet - incontinence pads are designed to quickly absorb and lock in fluid and the price difference isn't that great.
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What kinds of pads are good for bowel problems?
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cwillie Nov 19, 2018
No pad is going to work for bowel incontinence unless you are only dealing with skid marks, in fact even pull ups and briefs often can not contain a bowel movement and will overflow.
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I order these for my Mom, Assurance Women's Maximum Absorbency Underwear, Lavender, S/M, 60 Ct from Jet.com. Way better pricing and I've heard no complaints from her or the staff at her AL.
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texasrdr22 Nov 19, 2018
Thank you! I will check out that brand.
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There are the reusable protective underwear for women that are better contoured. I know for my mother the wider the better to catch all the urine. I sometimes think the store brand has to narrow of a crotch area.
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Poise has a number of different feminine products for this. Or you may want to try an elder specialty supply store or catalogs.
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I suggest you contact a company in Southern California called Dependable Daughter

shopdependabledaughter.com

The company was started by women who became caregivers for their parents. They experienced the same difficulties as most of us have had in caring for someone with bathroom issues. Look at their website. There is a phone number to chat with them. The woman who answered when I called was so compassionate and understanding. She understood my issue and had good suggestions. She also sent a HUGE box of samples of what they offer that she thought my husband could use. Their delivery was the next day (of course I am in So Cal which probably helped.)
I brought the box of samples to my support group and we all discussed the pros and cons of each style. Besides finding underwear that may solve your problem, you will feel you have another asset in your corner. Good luck.
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texasrdr22 Nov 21, 2018
Wobblywalker, thanks so much for the information. I will definitely check out this resource. It would be a nice option to sample different brands/styles without having to purchase an entire package. The sample pack from the HPFY store cost $12 and Mom did not like any of the brands they sent!
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