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My mom is 75 stage 4 Inflammatory breast cancer pt on home hospice at my home. I'm only caregiver. Problem is the cancer has mets to skin leaving huge draining/bleeding wounds that have to be dressed 24/7. Np there. Problem is that when I'm not around (night etc)she pulls them off and I can't get her to stop. I need help I'm at my wits end.

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If the wounds are on her torso then consider anti-strip clothing (Silverts.com is one supplier of "adaptive" clothing).

https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits

If the wounds are on her extremities...
- cut her nails very short or put on short, fake nails which make successful picking almost impossible.
- put NexCare waterproof bandaids on each fingertip
- have her wear Tencel or non-latex gloves (tight-fitting so she can't get them off)
- make sure the wounds aren't itchy, which can trigger the picking; keep her skin well hydrated. Make sure she isn't allergic to the bandages (latex)
- meds for excoriation disorder (compulsive picking) "memantine" has shown effectiveness; CBD
- compression socks if the wounds are on her legs
- provide her a fidget toy or blanket
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Reply to Geaton777
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Lwayne Mar 13, 2024
Thank you def looking into social clothes!
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Consider that she may be picking at her wounds because they hurt and try increasing her pain meds, at this point I imagine being totally sedated would be a blessing.
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Reply to cwillie
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You may have to hire a night-time aide(with moms money)to come sit with her and keep an eye on her, or increase her pain meds to the point that they knock her out overnight.
This sounds like it is WAY to much for just one person anyway, so hiring someone for overnight will allow you a goods night sleep and will prevent your mom from pulling off the bandages.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Lwayne Mar 13, 2024
Well... We are pretty much (as far as we can tell) in the beginning of this journey. She's still very alert and mobility independent. I have faced the facts that I won't be able to do this alone down the road so I'm working as much as possible now while I can. She is on pain meds am and pm and I don't think she's in pain. Hospice has been great and they will provide some further services as they are needed and I will get her an aide when the time comes. Yes it's stressful and tiring but...I think of it as my job. Moms look after us so... U know everyones circumstances are different but right now this is working. Thank you so much for the response!
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I had the same problem when my mom was with us. I bought a cheap package of ladies knee high nylons at Walmart. Then I cut off the toe of the nylons. After doing the dressings I would gently put the knee high onto her arm over the dressing. It was very light and non restricting. Then she always wore long sleeve tops.
Hope this helps.
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Reply to MissyBetsy
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You have excellent advice below.
It is time now for hospice guidance, and for medication that will prevent the itching and pain that is causing this distress and pulling at the dressings. I know you are likely using already stockinette? Consider so mildly compressing cotton spandex garments over the dressings.

You are now looking for comfort only and a blessed deliverance from a torment even a Saint couldn't endure. Please be certain medication is on board even IF it does hasten death by some minutes, hours, days or even weeks.

It was observed below that pain medications required can increase itching. Important you discuss this with Hospice. Hopefully hiring an aid will not be required, but it may be.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Lwayne Mar 13, 2024
Unfortunately the lesions are on her back/left side and her neck(L) since this began, I have come to the conclusion that the issue is 2 fold 1) they are annoying esp with the drainage etc 2) it's a mental thing. She says they don't itch. She's on pain meds (I'm a firm believer in not seeing her hurt) and atarax but is fairly independent ATM so Dr doesn't want Benadryl given due to a higher fall risk. As I said she's still able towalk to bath etc and a fall is last thing we need. As I posted, in pretty much handling this on my own for now except for 2x WK nurse and volunteer 1x WK. I'm working as much as possible now knowing that at any moment I will be home full time for the duration.thank you all for the help...
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Have you heard of Medihoney?

My aunt used it on a wound that would not heal and it was amazing how well it worked. https://www.shopwoundcare.com/b-medihoney.html.

She would also wrap it sometimes with Guaze bandages for extra comfort and to stop any leakage from the draining/bleeding. https://www.shopwoundcare.com/c-conforming-bandages.html

It helped relieve a lot of the discomfort she was having.
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Reply to FamilyNeeded
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elisny Mar 30, 2024
The Medihoney is available on Amazon - in various formats, gel or patches.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=derma+sciences+medihoney&i=industrial&crid=2I89CVPGIZ8QF&sprefix=derma+sciences+medihoney%2Cindustrial%2C97&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
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What does the Hospice Nurse say.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Lwayne Mar 13, 2024
She had the Dr prescribed atarax and upped her pm gabapentin
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I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. I wish you all the best. You’re an amazing daughter.
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Reply to NorasDaughter
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Had similar issue on hub with his upper arm . As a retired nurse I used a few tricks .. I hit the dollar store and in addition to gauze to wrap I bought the stuff I call coban it resembles an acewrap but sticks on itself. After changing dressing I wrapped gauze tighter and but self sticking bandage on last I got him to wear a tighter sleeve shirt too so he had to move more to get to it but when he tried it was harder to grab the self stick stuff and when he did I could hear the ripping sound . It helped save my sanity. If the area is more in chest can do similar with the larger self stick that can be found in sporting area or ordered. In the hospital we also used abdominal binders some have Velcro some have buckles like the kind to support backs. Even a bra with back clasp can help . We are at stage now in our journey that we no longer do procedures that will not help or change outcome. Our objective is safety and love and making the most of what time we have left. Being a caregiver is the hardest thing I’ve had to do and I would encourage you to get support with a caregiver group and counseling and put yourself first because without you taking care of yourself you do your loved one no good. We caregivers all know the feeling of frustration oh too well and I have connected with wonderful individuals and we support each other. Praying you too can find others to relate to … you are not alone🙏🏻
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Reply to Db2024
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My sister had this, except it was the entire right side of her chest. Hospice provided a cream that stopped the drainage and weeping of the massive wound.

I would ask them for guidance on what you can use to stop the irritation from the fluids. Maybe some mittens overnight can help with her dexterity getting the bandaids off.

May The Lord touch both of you and make this final journey together as peaceful as it can be.
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