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The last two times he has been to the dentist, they wanted him to get a new crown. He refuses. It is time for the six month checkup. His dental hygiene is very poor to say the least. I think it is unnecessary to take him to this visit. He has always hated going and fights me for every doctor appointment. Anyone else experiencing this?

Take your husband to the dentist for extractions only, as necessary. My mother lived to 95 without sepsis killing her from bad teeth, for petesake! But dementia and congestive heart failure did her in, without regular dental checkups, believe it or not. Dragging a severely demented elder to the dentist for cleanings and checkups is ludicrous. Stick to your guns on this one, regardless of the fear mongering that goes on around here.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Have you tried just brushing your husbands teeth for him? Towards the end of my husbands life I had to brush his teeth for him, and I no longer took him to any dental appointments as it wasn't worth the time or trouble.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I had an aide tell me Mom was not brushing her teeth. Really, when living with me, I had to stop her when she brushed her teeth. I asked if she put the toothpaste on her brush and then handed it to her. I got that look, so knew she hadn't. Not saying you don't do this but just in case.

There are disposable sponge toothbrushes you can get. Put sponge toothbrushes in search at Amazon to see what I mean. With these maybe you can do a good swipe. I would not put your husband through a crown. Too many steps for a Dementia patient to go through. Just have the tooth pulled. Make sure he gets antibotics before and after.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Tooth problems may lead to pockets of infection in the gums which can quickly move to a sepsis situation, even to death. You, if you are POA, may be looking at some conscious sedation for dental care if there are serious issues.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I agree with you. Some things are just too much to deal with at the moment. Understand though that it could lead to sepsis and death eventually.
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Reply to southernwave
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funkygrandma59 Nov 24, 2025
So will dementia lead to death eventually, so I guess take your pick.
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You do know the dental industry has pushed their products on people since God knows when. Dental care is not mandatory although it is of benefit. Skipping a day or two is not that harmful.. At 88 myself, I have never used toothpaste again since when I was a child, the smell made me throw up. I brush with flavored mouthwash. Waking someone up to brush their teeth is a caretaker problem not the patient's.
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Reply to Bonanzatree
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Great suggestions here. I provide a mouth rinse with a touch of hydrogen peroxide for my mother to do, typically twice a day. She can still brush her teeth, but not well. I put the toothpaste on the brush for her and then walk to the other room and monitor from afar. I don’t do well with saliva and spit, so have just not added brushing mom's teeth to my plate. In addition to this, I take my mother to dental cleanings every 3 months, instead of every 6 and it’s working well now. She has to take antibiotics before each dental visit due to heart issues, this is why I stay on her dental care, as much as I can, but I can only do so much and don’t feel guilty about it. I’ve already let her dentist and other providers know this.
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Reply to WayLeadsOn2Way
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Once my dad’s dementia progressed to the point where he rarely brushed, we also stopped with the dental checkups. He said a tooth hurt at one point. He was able to sit and cooperate in the dentist’s chair long enough to have it pulled. But I would not have considered putting him through a crown. The longer time went on with him and dementia, the more I saw the wisdom in not fighting or insisting on things that really were no longer essential.
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Reply to Suzy23
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Proper brushing may not be possible but you shouldn't let perfect get in the way of good enough. See if you can get him to let you swab around his teeth and gums with those sponge-on-a-stick oral care things, dipped in mouthwash and/or peroxide. That will clean out any food he may be pocketing plus should help treat or prevent gum disease, which is probably the most you can hope for.
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Reply to cwillie
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My mom is 97 and lives in an assisted-living facility. Sibs and I are wondering whether to get her back to the dentist for a cleaning. Mom hasn't brushed her teeth herself in several years, and the task isn't something that my sister (POA and visits Mom almost every day) will do or ask the staff to help Mom with. I think it would be okay to permanently end the dental cleanings; the hospice nurse said we should continue. (To paraphrase her, "Your mom could live for 3 more years. This will help with her quality of life." To paraphrase my brain, "Yay. 3 more years....")
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