Mom smokes and has burned the floor, her chair, herself, me and even the cat. She has smoked for 55 years and does not want to quit. Help!

I'm going to assume a couple of things first:
1. She lives with you.
2. She has mid-stage Dementia
3. You still work, so she's alone for about 6 hrs at a stretch
4. You buy her cigarettes or share yours with her
My Mom smoked for about the same amount of time until her 6 hour stretch of not knowing what/where/when she was at. For about 6 months prior, I had her using a E-cig looks like a cigarette but has a replaceable filter & is rechargeable. Assuming that's where your Mom is at, that would be the only option other than not buying her cigarettes. For those 6 months she was pretty satisfied. Suddenly within 2 weeks of her "moment" she started having issues using it; like trying to light it with her lighter or on the stove, which I turn off unless I'm cooking downstairs for her. Her day nurse called me and I admitted her(with her Dr. approval (on a Monday) and that Wed we went into lockdown for Covid. I picked her up from rehab 3 weeks later and she hasn't any since. Within the first month she asked for a cig; sometimes quite belligerently; but I told her No more since her COPD has gotten worse. She rarely asks anymore unless we're watching an older movie & they're smoking in it; like in The Bellboy that we just watched and laughed til our sides hurt; just last night. I would suggest that if you could get thru the next few months by telling her she hasn't smoked for X amt of time, try that first. The Patch & gum have side effects that outweigh the benefits not to mention the taste of that gum, YUK! As a last resort you could get an E-cig for Vaporfi; they bought out MIG VAPOR which was one of the best there is and still use the exact same products; which might save some headaches for the short term. Here's the link to the lookalikes that I got her and they still seem to be the only one that have a no-nicotine juice that doesn't have a melted plastic taste. They're also cheaper and easier to refill than most. ( https://www.vaporfi.com/vaporfi-express-classic-tobacco-bundle/?A=9500&utm_content=f13bfd08 )

What are mother's health and living arrangements? Without those one cannot say what options there may be to change her smoking habit. Is she mentally competent to understand suggestions or does she have any dementia. Does she live alone or in your house - what you can do varies so much with these differences.

DaniDU: Imho, to stop her nicotine habit, aka crutch, she is going to require the assistance of either a medical professional or an addiction program. One such program exists in the form of Reformers Unanimous, which is a stubborn habit program which meets on Fridays at churches internationally. I am not touting religion, but offering hope for someone who has smoked for five and one half DECADES, though her mindset must be amended by her. Your mother is at a huge risk. Good grief - she even burned her person, you and her pet! The program can be googled.

I smoked since I was eleven years old and am now going on one year smoke-free. I didn't smoke for 55 years. Your mother isn't going to quit cigarettes at her time of life. Nor should she have to.
What is her living situation? Does she live alone? Does she live with you?
If she smoked for that many years, chances are she's got one of those big old-school, standing ashtrays from the 50's and 60's somewhere. Bring that out for her. Only keep one ashtray in the house. Where the ashtray is will be the only place she'll smoke. I kept my ashtray in the kitchen and I didn't smoke anywhere else for years. When I smoked I could not tolerate cigarette butts hanging around in an ashtray. I had a cigarette butler to dump the butts in. They're pretty old school. You might find one at a thrift store. If not, keep an empty coffee can or two for her butts.
If mom lives with you, your house can be no smoking as most people's homes are today. Put a chair and a bucket of sand on the porch for mom and that's the smoking area. Don't expect your mother to quit after 55 years though.

Here's a different take on the issue. Be sure there are more than the minimum number of smoke detectors in the house, the kind with sirens and flashing lights. Try to clear the walking areas inside the house, and the exit doors. (hoping she has 2 of them).
If you can create an outside smoking area on a porch, that would be terrific. If not, try this. (from protective service work I know). Purchase a large birdbath (the ceramic one from the garden center.) Place this right beside her chair, put a little bit of kitty litter or sand or aquarium pebbles in it and a big ashtray. Instead of focusing on stopping smoking, focus on safer smoking.
Maybe putting a heavy duty door mat under the birdbath, or some sort of fire resistant mat. Encourage visitors to admire her new arrangement.
No more nagging.
IF she is giving you a lot of pushback against accepting and using this new arrangement, then it is time to put both feet down.
If it is your house she is not longer going to live there.
If it is her house, you are not going to live there any longer.
Cat stays with the owner.
Other family members may kick up a fuss- cuz now they will have to get involved, one way or another.
Good luck. Over the decades the amount of nicotine in cigarettes has been steadily increased by the tobacco companies, to make it harder and harder to quit.

get that pill that makes cigarettes taste bad

It doesn’t say she lives with the daughter. You could try e-cigarettes. There is no fire and virtually no smell. It will keep her hands busy.

My aunt who had smoked since she was a child managed to quit using vaping.

First she used vape products with nicotine, but over time reduced the nicotine content to the point she was just using the flavoured stuff. She has smoked for over 60 years.

I am glad I never was tempted to even try smoking. Lost both grandfathers to lung cancer and cannot stand the smell of it.

But I understand the addiction is powerful and very challenging to overcome.

No one smokes in my house. They are welcome to smoke outside and I will provide an ashtray, but I will not join them.

I agree. Don't let her smoke in your house. It's to dangerous. And most importantly, dangerous to your health.

When my dad died mom declared she was going to stop smoking. She did not; her loneliness and anxiety compelled her to smoke even tho she had developed emphysema (but denied it, so her HMO doc never treated it, another story...)
Your mother's smoking is becoming a danger to herself and your entire household; ask her doctor to put her on nicotine patches; smoking IS an addiction: nicotine is highly addictive and American cigarettes have been documented to have been Engineered to be even more addictive. Get her on patches, whatever. Now, my mom claimed to need 'to do something with my hands' (because she was 'nervous', and cigarettes have been described as 'the poor man's Heroin). If this seems to be your mom's issue, too, find her an activity that can occupy that restlessness/boredom. Find her a habit that is less dangerous. Also, some folks, especially women, smoke to keep from gaining weight, to not eat eat eat out of anxiety; in this case, also look for ways to address this: healthy snacks, more exercise, activities to channel her restlessness. All the best.

You do not list dementia as one of moms conditions. SO...and this is going to be tough.
YOUR house...YOUR rules.
Conversation..
"Mom, you are living in my house, I no longer want you smoking in the house. You can smoke on the patio / deck / front porch...but no longer can you smoke in the house." "You have caused damage to my belongings, you have been hurt, you have hurt me and the cat. It is dangerous for you to continue to smoke in the house"
(Install smoke detectors in all bathrooms)
Do NOT back down. She may come to her senses when she is standing outside when it is 0 degrees and the wind is blowing and she is trying to light up.

After reading Andrew Weil’s “Chocolate to Morphine” in the 80s I’ve become more tolerant for addictions in general and smokers in particular. Smoking goes from being touted as healthy to cool to low class back to cool over the years. Probably more dips and dives than I know about. All the while being deadly.
But all the tough talk about my way or the highway should be tempered by compassion and every known device, drug and alternative she’s willing to try. Not many changes happen without a desire to change. My SIL can land in the hospital for weeks and come back out sounding so much better. In a few weeks, if that long, she is back sitting on her deck smoking. She lives with a smoker and just like alcohol addiction it’s hard to be around familiar people, places and things and not smoke. Not that it can’t be done. Not saying that but it is hard and of course you can’t let her burn the house down.

This may sound sarcastic, but it's not meant to be:  Stock up on smoke alarms and place them in the areas where she spends her time.   Check the instructions though and see if there could be any side effects from being close to an alarm.  

They should also be placed higher up as smoke rises.   You might not be able to stop her from smoking, but at least the alarms could prevent spreading beyond the immediate area.

My father smoked from an early adult age, but after the then Surgeon General issued the then new warning, Dad stopped cold turkey.

Have her go outside to smoke before a real fire is started inside. Put a bucket out there with sand in it and get a kitty litter scoop to clean out the butts. If you tell her to stop smoking at this point, she'll probably get anxious and smoke even more. If she has to get up and go out to smoke - she'll probably find she smokes less. There are certain 'triggers' to smoking. Like mine used to be the phone ringing and I would talk and smoke. I found that even if I had one lit and in the ashtray I would light another because the phone rang. Weird, but true. If it's too cold outside where you live, maybe put a chair and sand bucket in the garage. But she has to leave the living areas to do her smoking - point out the dangers

If she lives with you ... you do not have to allow smoking on your property. Ever.
She either goes outside or she quits, end of story.

Edited to add: My Dad quit smoking (after 70 years of smoking) when he went on Life Support. My Mom quit in one day. It can be done.

Quitting smoking is easier said then done.

I would create a smoking place for her, preferably outside, or build a small space with window(s) on a deck or patio, maybe you have a large mudroom that can be partianed and that is where she smokes. Period.

Put furniture that won't burn, like metal patio furniture, concrete or tile floors, add a fan and space heater so she can be reasonably comfortable year round.

If something needs to be built on, she pays for it.

I don't agree that she must be forced to stop, it's her body and she has that choice. What she doesn't have a choice in, is smoking in your home.

Creating a smoking room will protect everyone from her fire and smoke and allow her to do what she has been doing for 55 years.

Look at it this way, some people like their meat smoked, others don't.

Why people smoke is beyond me - and they either won't take help offered or are stubborn. Her attitude and behavior will eventually KILL YOU, THE CAT, OTHERS AND BURN UP EVERYTHING. I assure you, having lived with a smoker who died of pancreatic cancer and still wanted to smoke, nothing is gone to stop them UNLESS THEY ARE PUT SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY JUST SIMPLY HAVE NO MEANS OF EVER GETTING HOLD OF A CIGARETTE OR SMOKING. Face it - that time has come. Nothing will help unless you physically place her in a safe place where there just simply is NO smoking ever. Don't risk lives and all else for this woman. You are far more important.

Seems it is time to give her an ultimatum if she lives with you. Tell her that you, the pet, and the house should not be in danger of burning. Either she stops smoking in the house or she moves elsewhere. You might consider allowing her to smoke outside where there is a cement floor. You could also talk with her about smoking cessation using nicotine gum or patches.

Nicotine is an addiction. Nicotine, in another form, is a neuro-transmitter. There are nicotine receptors in the brain. This is why it is so highly additive, second only to heroin. Most long-term smokers can't quit and aren't particularly motivated. I have had a very few (count them on one hand) patients quit with the promise that they will go blind. Smoking causes macular degeneration. Also, smoking with diabetes dramatically increases the risk of stroke. Most people won't die from stroke but they will be permanently disabled to some degree. Is it worth it to Mom to spend her final years in a nursing home where she won't be able to smoke anyway? If she says yes, all you can do is protect yourself from harm. Don't let her smoke in your home or around family members. Don't buy her cigarettes. If she can go get them herself, you can ask her to move out. As others said, your home=your rules.

Her smoking has to stop for safety sake. Someone may die and you will wish you had the backbone to stop this..I would move her to electronic cigs. Maybe vaping? Anything without fire potential.
If she was in a facility she would have to stop. This is a no brainer in my world.

Try using those non lite cigarettes and set the Nicotine Level about the same as a cigarette.

Still bad fir you but at least she won't catch the house on fire using it.

Flame retardant fabric throw, which you tuck round her once she's settled in her chair.

And tell the cat to sit on somebody else's chair. A heated cushion might do the trick now winter's on its way.

I'm a smoker myself, I'm in no position to criticise, but the client whose pleated skirt I held up to discover a perfectly circular hole with crisp blackened edges just over where her thighs must have been - that did make my head swim. I "reported a concern" to my Shift Leader, it was all I could do. It's not the health hazard, not when the smoker is already well past her three score years and ten, but the fire risk is scary.

Years ago, when I moved home from college, I lived with my parents for a few months until I could find a job and a place to live on my own. My mom had smoked for 25 years and I hated it during my entire childhood. I had tried to get her to quit several times...to no avail. Finally, when I moved home from college, I asked her to try quitting on the "Great American Smoke-out Day" in November. She agreed and told me "I'll try it for that ONE day and then you have to leave me alone about it!!" She was mad. My best friend...my mom...the one I cared about most was mad for bugging her about smoking. But, she went that whole day on the Smoke-out day without a cigarette. the next day, she tried having a smoke and it made her sick! Never had another smoke again! I was so proud of her...and she was proud of herself. I miss her so much...she passed away a few years ago...but hadn't had a cigarette in over 20 years.

She's living in YOUR home, according to your profile. So why does mom get to dictate the rules and burn the place down? Do you get no say in how life plays out in your own home? I'd say either mom starts smoking outside EXCLUSIVELY, switches over to vaping, or moves out into her own space where she gets to do as she pleases AND pay all the bills, too.

Good luck!

Are you her POA? Do you help make caregiving decisions with her doctor? If so, talk about your concerns with her doctor about cigarette substitutes. If she is not mobile, if she cannot buy them herself, then you are in part enabling this disastrous situation.

I wouldn’t recommend ANY course of action without speaking to her doctor first. You need to get the lighters and ciggies away, but in a safe manner that isn’t going to make her crash and go bat-sh!t crazy from the withdrawal.

I always remember a friend telling me her dad fell asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette. When he woke up, the cigarette had burned a deep hole in the sofa.

Just to be safe, he dragged the sofa out into the backyard before going to bed. When they got up in the morning, the entire sofa had burned.

Your house, your rules. My Dad was a smoker and devil may care about how he smoked. Mom had burned holes in the rugs even the couch. He burned a hole in our new couch. Mom found someone who fixed it. He was not allowed to smoke after that in my home. He did eventually quit because of heart problems.

We do not allow any smoking in our house, period. You need to smoke we have a nice deck.

I would move her over to vaping- at this stage of the game she’s unlikely to quit, and she’s probably so hard-wired to need the physical act of smoking that she won’t comply with just a patch. So remove the lit cigarette.

You don't say how old your mom is, or what her cognitive/memory capabilities are. At this point you won't get her to stop without consequences, since it is a scientific fact that smoking is as addictive as heroin and just as hard to kick.

I would discuss this with her doctor to see if nicotine patches may at least reduce the amount she smokes in a day (it's also an expensive addiction!) Even vaping may be a viable alternative. For all the fears over vaping, in your case it can't be any more dangerous than your mom falling asleep with a burning cigarette in her hand...

Nicotine withdrawal makes people extremely cranky and unreasonable (like an addict), so before you do anything to try to change or reduce her habit, you should have a plan. Typical smoking cessation strategies probably won't work for her if she has any cognitive issues. May you have success!