My Mom cannot afford assisted living. What do I do?

In home care is your best bet. Advertise in your local paper as opposed to online. The applicants are more plentiful and settle for less money. That's been my experience. Good luck to you

I had my mom go to a Senior day care in Savannah, GA. It's the Ruth Byck Senior Day Care. We told her she was a volunteer and this worked for 8 months

If your mom or dad (her husband) was in the military (must be during a declared wartime) check with the VA - they provide assistance.

I know its very difficult I am in the same situation. I have had a lot of thought about keeping my mother with me. Many people have your same situation. Its poor planning on our parents part, its not an easy task, in there younger days they were raised with taking care of their parents so they assume a lot of times we will do it, or they will not live to see this day? The only thing that's feasible would be a visiting Angle or home care giver. Like the others say if your father was a vet there is a fund for assistant living? She can get financial aid assistants from medicade that's the only way you can get low income housing. If your mom is some what independent check out SHAG apartments? They are a step below assistant living. Other wise you have to be creative in how you are going to deal with this, and except the fact you and your mom need each other at this time. Cherish this time and don't let it get to you. With an in home care giver you can get a break. There are also day care centers at some Senior centers you can look into while you are at work. Good luck I really do feel for you.

I'll come at this from a different perspective. You haven't indicated what you are doing for your mom that "requires" you living there. At times I have felt it was in my parents best interest if I was with them and doing things for them, yet learned they were capable of doing things themselves, even if it wasn't the way I would do them. I learned it was better to let them have their independence and "visit" to help with things they weren't able to do than be there all the time and start irritating each other from proximity overload. Why not take a break and go to work to confirm your suspicions, as otherwise your health will decline if you don't get a break. Also consider Adult Day Care programs, where she gets the supervision and social engagement and you can go back to work.

I contacted DADS and they put her on a waiting list for assisted living that is state funded or supplemented.

Hello, I would speak to a social worker for the elderly. Also when most seniors don't have enough income to pay for assisted living they have to apply for Medicaid. Then somehow the state picks up the bill for the amounts that the senior cannot afford. The admission person or social worker for the assisted living community should be able to help you with that or give you information. I went through that with my mom and we had to apply for Medicaid. A social worker helped us to get the forms and fill them out and he submitted them. I hope this helps you.

Is she the surviving spouse of Wartime era Vet?, does she have a Life Insurance policy any Kind) with a face value of $50,000 or more?

Try contacting your local state home care agency. They can provide support services . The fee is sliding scale based upon her income. She can either stay in her own home or apply for a small apartment in a senior apartment. The rent is also based upon income(30%). Cheaper than AL and good for a person who just needs some assistance, not total care.

in your post you say primary ailment is alzheimer's / dementia. so call 24/7 Helpline: 1.800.272.3900

senior social services ...how do you find senior social services ?? Which one (s) ?? If she has dementia try the free advice from Alzheimer's Association councelors

In home care would be your next option. It is expensive. The cheapest I was able to find was $12 and hour. Depending on how many hours a day you would need someone. If you live with her then you need a break even if it is work. Find someone to come in for those hours you are at work. Do NOT deprived yourself of your life then you too will go down hill, then you will need someone to take care of both of you. Not sure which state you live in, but some states are starting to pay for assisted living or at least some of it. My state hasn't yet, but I am working on getting this done. Even if someone came in for a few hours each day to make sure she had breakfast and lunch and some company. Good luck and best wishes.

Hello, my name is Holly B. I live In Elizabethton, TN. Your best and most inexpensive option would be to find an in-home caregiver. This is actually better, because your mother would be happier in her own home, and all of her needs would be met without you having to worry about her safety while you are at work. God bless!

I would look to see if there is any subsidized housing for seniors in your area. This would be cheaper since they go by your income. I was going to do this with my mother because she is on a very limited income, but she needed a lot of help that they didn't offer so she is in an AL. It is very expensive but they do take care of her well. However she only has enough money for 2 years there. If your mother is pretty independent than she would probably do okay in a small efficiency or apartment, and you could hire someone to come in a couple times a week to help cook, do laundry, housekeeping whatever. It would be a lot cheaper than an AL.

Both wonderful suggestions from caregivers who know.
Thanks everyone,
Carol

Look to see if there are "board & care" homes in your area. They cost significantly less than AL. It is small scale congregate living within a home and can work for those who just are too OK for AL but need more of a system than IL would do. Most are about 6 - 10 residents with 2 -3 staff.

Also google your state's Medicaid program to see if there are any Medicaid diversion programs that will pay for AL. Now finding an AL who will take her will be the harder part in all this as most will have just a couple of beds that are diversion and they get filled from a waiting list based on current private pay residents.

Get senior social services involved immediately. They'll have many good ideas and can possibly place her. I certainly couldn't take care of my mom if I worked. And I'd NEVER quit a job to care for her. I'm an only, by the way. Love my mom to pieces. But I would not sacrifice my life for her. And she wouldn't want me to.

Chicago is a very expensive area to live. There's an assisted living facility 8 miles from me that starts at about $1,500 a month for 3 meals. Maybe you need to start making calls. The average Social Security check is $1200. If she has savings, she can make up the difference.