My Mom cannot afford assisted living. What do I do?

All of the advice you are getting is useless. Contact hotlines, social services, etc. Anyone who has done that knows you will get nothing but the usual rhetoric, friends, family, blah, blah, blah. Sorry, you are stuck my friend. Until caregivers UNITE, and truly understand the positions of other caregivers, many people that are on this forum are here just to be here. There is nothing wrong with that, but please offer advice that is usable to the person looking for answers. If many would actually understand and would ACTUALLY put themselves in the same situations that they are freely giving advice on or about the answers would "elevate" and solutions could possibly happen. USUABLE answers to this forum is much needed. I see so many "Cookie Cutter" responses it becomes ridiculous. Come on folks. Everyone (most) know about all the "basics". Find solutions if you want to help, stop giving useless information. Money is the key problem here.
I wish I had an answer at the moment, but I don't. I seek everyday for some answer that is NOT the same old BS that does not help. Come on people, think "Outside the Box". Bless all caregivers and may we all unite to help each other.

I thought that assisted living facilities were private pay only, too. But as it turns out, there really ARE a few (not very many) that take medicaid. I'm in Long Island, NY and I'm refering to the Long Island/New York City area. It doesn't hurt to ask around. I don't know what your mom's medical issue is, but you might want to check out a caregivers support group and speak to other caregivers. I attend a caregivers support group run my my local chapter of the Alzeimer's association, and that's where I got the info on the assisted livings that accept medicaid. Another option is respite care at a skilled nuring facility. Many nursing homes have a "respite" program where they allow the ill person to stay for a week or so while the caregiver gets a break. Look into that, and good luck to you!

I've never heard of any Assisted Living facilities that take Medicaid, at least in South east Louisiana where my Dad lives. I wish! Plenty of Nursing homes do but not AL. Perhaps other of the states offer this?

chrisA1, this is generally a good idea, however many communites do not allow un-related people to rent your home. my folks live in such a place, their own home is older but an "association" was built around them which has restrictive covenants (I think I got that word right?) such that they cannot rent out their home.
ALSO, and this might be more applicable to more people, Rental income is taxable by feds and state!

There are a few assisted living facilities that accept medicaid. Start doing research at ALs and ask if they take Medicaid.

If your Mom owns a house, she can rent it and that will pay for her care and some more. The key to renting is to partner with a government agency and you will have more than enough from rent to pay for your Mom's needs

Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services, they have programs that she may be eligible for that may help. There are senior care programs, respite programs and waiver programs. Take advantage of everything she is eligible for, that is what these programs are designed for.

Does your mom have a house she can sell and use the proceeds to pay for the assisted living until she needs skilled care?

Contact senior services in your area to see what is available. Start researching before you need it. Most Assisted living facilities are self pay. Medicaid generally only pays for Skilled nursing care (after spend down of your assets). Not all Skilled Care facilities accept Medicaid or they could have waiting lists for new patients. There are some services for home helpers that may be paid for by Medicaid if you qualify.

Check out PACE but better sign up now for it. In Louisiana where my Dad is they told me there is a 2 year waiting list for PACE!

In our Midwestern area, AL for someone with Alzehimers or Dementia would be approaching $4,000 per year. Hardly anybody can afford that!
I would contact the county social services. Start an application. If they turn you down, they will still advise you on at what point you would qualify for the county to start paying.
Find a facility that will definitely accept state aid....not all AL will accept it! Or, they will charge $4000/month for several months until you run out; when you get on state aid, you MIGHT still get to stay at same place----but NOT in your original private room, they'll move you to a dormitory style room.
If your mom were mine, I would just move her right now, to someplace, run the money down to where you can qualify for aid, and that's will have to be.

There is someone that i know in Katy Tx and she is the cheapest of them all as far as houston goes I know people that stay there under 2000 a month, and she has locking doors so they cant get out proper nutrition pharmacy, skilled nursing and hospice services on site if ever necessary The rest of the places are 4k and above if you ever need her number email me and I will give it to you

I ended up calling our commission on aging through our county. They paid for a shower aid 2 hrs x 2 days per week, then helped us apply for Medicaid. What a blessing, they now pay for an aid 14 hrs per week for care and respite. And based on need we can get more help. This is MI social services, the state finds it better to help caregivers and clients live at home and its cheaper than placement. It sure has helped mom and i both get a little respite. The alternatives are all expensive. Good luck and God bless you.

That's the best thing for you to do. Board and care is not cheap either and it most often is limited to 6 beds. They offer 24 hour care with food and assist with meds. But most of the time 1500 would not cover it Most of the time it's 1800- 2500 depending on care needed. So if you can get into a state funded place that is your best bet. It won't be the best care but with limited funds may be the best you can do.

To LivingSouth: interesting about church-run AL. We don't have those where Dad is; only Independent living run by a church. But the person who started this thread needs more care than either AL or IL apparently.

You may be able to get your Mom in a day program. My husband has MCI and didn't know what to do with himself during the day. He started with one day a week and quickly wanted to go 'see his friends' more often. Next week we will try 4 days. The caregivers in our local facility are all women and I am sure they are angels. They have a fun and stimulating schedule. May help slow down the dementia. Price is reasonable. The VA is paying.

Adult Daycare, and I can tell you that this is Great for the seniors, most of them are open from 8am to 5pm. Monday thru Friday, and the fee range from $8.00 to $9.00, serving, Lunches , snacks ect. Check this out also.

Check and see if your town has a PACE program. It's excellent for seniors wanting to live at home. If she is over income, they will work it out and she has to pay a small portion depending on her income. If she has dementia, they won't take her. Check the income limits for Medicaid in your state and get a social worker through agency for the agency for the aging for some social work assistance in getting her placed.

Everyone keeps mentioning Medicaid. She said her mother needs assisted living. Medicaid only pays for Skilled Nursing Care. You have to be diagnosed as needed SNC by a doctor and there are strict requirements.

Many church run assisted living centers are less expensive and are based on income.Search in your area for the various denominations and assisted living. Home care would be less expensive, but often hard to find someone to stay at night.

Renting part of the home is an interesting idea but may not always be an option. My Dad's home was reversed mortgaged by my Mom (now deceased) and there is no more money left to get out of it. It is very small (950 sq ft) with one bathroom and no privacy for whomever would stay there. He's ok for now with 6 - 8 hrs a day caregivers (paid for by VA money). But as he deteriorates he will be in same boat as the questioner. I live states away and will most likely then need to quit my jobs, leave my husband/home and stay with him for the duration.

Your mother or father can remain in their home and have several professional nurses to help them if you use their home properly. Rent part of the home and it will pay for the nursing regardless of the cost. We did that for my mother with two full-time professional nurses and had money left over.

Keep her at home, consult her doctor regarding some anti-anxiety meds, take a job and get yourself out of the house before you have a nervous breakdown. Perhaps each of you get on each other's nerves before her dementia, and now it is exacerbated with dementia. Take some time to discuss your options calmly and without a lot of drama and see what suggestions SHE might have. If you are desperate, sell the house if you can get any money from it, but I would strongly suggest you try to live in the house together as her condition will only deteriorate and she will need you to help her. Best wishes!

We currently have in-home health care and it is far more expensive than Assisted Living. And it is not 24-hour care with a Nurse on duty. We are in Ohio. In-home care, a private individual, may work but there are definite advantages and disadvantages to this decision.

If you opt for in-home caregivers, try Care.com as they have independent caregivers who are less per hour than the regular homecare agencies who average $18 - 20 and hour. My Dad couldn't afford that rate so we found him some independent caregivers at around $ 10 - $12 an hour. Wishing you the best.

If your Mom can not afford assisted living on her income or savings, does she own a home ? We used my Mother's home to support her assisted living in her home. She received premium care and never left her home.

My mother-in-law was at my place most of her last year; we had a very nice lady who came in during the day when we were at work, who made sure Grandma had her lunch and her meds and kept an eye on her. Social Security paid for part of it; we had to pay her an additional amount but it was manageable. Grandma really liked the caregiver, and she was very sorry when she had to be moved to a higher level of care for her last few weeks.

what is dads

Contact your local Social/Human Services and begin the application process for Long Term Care/Meicaid. My mom was about 300.00 short a month and we got her on Long Term Care/Medicaid and everything is taken care of. You will need all the usual verifications - birthcert or passport/ID and proof of income. If she has money in a savings and checking over 2000.00 you will have to do a medicaid "spend down". You can not have any resources over 2000.00 in any given month after approval. The rules vary by state for resources and owning a home. Best wishes on your journey!

In my area we have the Jewish Home which will take you with what you have. So if she just has social security that's what they take. There is usually a waiting list but the sooner you do that the better. Also, you do not need to be Jewish to go there. They have an independent section, lots of activities, great food, they will make sure she takes her meds, beauty shop, etc.
also, you didn't mention your DAD but if he was in the service your Mom might be entitled to what's called Aid and Attendnance from the Veteran's administration. That's what saved me. Good luck and try to check all resources. The Alzheimer's Association is a very good resource. Also, I would suggest a support group with other caregivers. They will have lots of information because some will have gone through the same issues.