Marriage. Thoughts on why someone would want to marry a man in the later stages of Alzheimer's?

If Dad's still alive, you need to contact the police regarding elder abuse. That "wife" has fleeced him of his assets and needs to be in jail.

If you have documentation that he's in late-stage Alzheimer's, I think you could convince a judge that he was not competent to marry (a contractual agreement), assign power of attorney, nor agree to the expenditures and selling his farmland.

The money is probably gone, but you should try to save your dad now. Consult an elder attorney immediately.

I think you have the answer since so much of a financial matter was changed to this new wife. I don't know if there is anything to turn back time. It is so important for people to have secure financials in place before they become too compromised. Perhaps you could sue and at least receive some compensation since your father was already suffering from Alzheimers when this gold digger entered his life and went to town with all he had. So sorry you have had this experience and I hope others have suggestions for you.

I really only have one question.
When you went to see Dad was he being well cared for?
To me, when his children were apparently not terribly active in his life, and in his care, while all of this water went flowing under the bridge, that is the crucial question.
You seem not so much concerned about Dad's well being as you are about his assets.
If your father is receiving kind, gentle, loving care, this may be the best investment he has ever made. If he is receiving kind and gentle care, you might just feel relieved to go on with your life as you were, knowing he is being loved, and knowing he doesn't remember you any longer.
If your father is being abused in your opinion, do contact APS at once.

If you can prove that your father suffered advanced Alzheimer's dementia during the marriage with that particular woman, the marriage contract will be declared void. If you can't prove that, it will become a complicated legal problem.

Respectfully, you ask a rhetorical question that has no right or wrong answer.

The question you should be asking this forum (and yourself) is: if your Dad, who is now cognitively incapacitated, is being scammed can you/should you do anything about it?

If you think financial scamming is involved you will need to talk to an attorney (criminal or elder law, not sure) to see what kind of evidence you'd need to produce. Late-in-life marriages are always fraught with complicated emotions, mostly within the adult children, and suspicions can run very high: sometimes warranted, sometimes not.

If your father had a medical diagnosis of incapacity prior to him being married, this is a legal problem for her because of changes in the PoA, trust, beneficiaries, etc. which cannot legally happen at that point. To me it smells suspicious but you need to decide to pursue it legally or not, and whether your dad will be left with any assets for his ongoing care?

Alva asked what his care is like right now? Is she sticking with him? Has she disappeared (yet)? Who will care for him if you gain guardianship? This is a distressing quandary to be in and I wish you success in getting clear answers.

Thoughts on why someone would want to marry a man in the later stages of Alzheimer's? Precisely so she could rob him blind, that's why!! And someone 'told you the disease had nothing to do with his actions" yet when you went to see him, he had no idea you were his daughter.

A person in the late stages of Alzheimer's has no idea WHAT is going on! Which is why he didn't know who you were, and why the scammer he married was able to take such horrible advantage of him! I think you know the answers to your own questions.

If anyone 'betrayed' you, it certainly wasn't your father suffering from Alzheimer's, but the scammer her married.

Contact the police first, then an attorney.

Best of luck.

I believe you answered your own question. That POA is not enforceable if his condition is as you described. The notary and the witnesses to such a POA could be in legal trouble if you wanted to pursue it. The remainder of the estate including sale proceeds can be ordered frozen until a hearing is scheduled, but that's up to you. If the assets aren't substantial then you may not want to do anything. If they are, what are you waiting for???? You were told the disease had nothing to do with it by the same people I would guess that had "everything" to do with this. You can't legally give power of attorney when you have dementia and no legitimate notary would ever sign it, nor would any business that is aware of the timing and mental state accept such a POA. Get busy, contact an attorney yesterday. But you did answer your own question.

If he had AZ, couldn’t you annul the marriage. You certainly can revoke everything else.

I think you know

You need to get an attorney fast. If he has Alzheimer’s and his doctor has the medical documentation of this it is illegal bring he is unable to make decisions. She would have had to go to court for that. You must educate yourself to protect his rights immediately and his safety too. Run don’t walk!!
I went to an attorney when my husband of 38 years was in early stages of dementia to find out right way to handle our assets and be sure he was taken care of in case something happened to me.

Maybe new wife is taking better care of him than his children .
make sure you’re going to look after him before you go after the money

I think you know the reason she would marry him. It’s all laid out in her actions. She is after his money. My 80 year old father had a stroke recently which has affected his memory. He is still functioning but his decision making skills are definitely compromised. I am the executor and successor trustee of his trust. I spent some time calling his banks that he has been with for decades and who know him and his attorney to alert them. You need an attorney to try to unravel this. If you have a dx letter from a doctor or two that your father has AZ and is not capable of making decisions then you may be able to drag this women into court.

I know things appear shady and they may very well be, but you were not involved in your dads life and certainly have not been involved in his care. Maybe when they first met, he was still himself with mild forgetfulness. Fast forward and now he needs care and it is expensive care. She has been dealing with all of this. She is probably thinking that if she has to place him or bring care into the home, she is going to need funds to do so. If your dad has dementia, he would have no way of managing these properties, the taxes, etc. How many years had it been since you were in contact with your father or visited him?

Without knowing the value of the farm and the trusts, I don't know if it's worth paying a lawyer to investigate and fight your dads wife over this or not. If you were away for years, it's going to be hard to prove that he didn't marry her and make these changes to his assets when he was in his right mind.

She is defrauding your father. Report her to the police immediately.

It certainly looks like your Dad was taken advantage of; but there are two sides to every story - and then there's the facts. Were you, and other family members actively present in yours Dad's life through all these years? Who has been taking care of Dad all this time; and is he being taken care of with love? It surely takes a lot of time, dedication, & emotional strength to take care of someone with Alzheimers singlehandedly. You don't say how many years his wife has been in the picture - and how they "are" with one another when you visited. There is a lot to unpack here: Love, greed or a little of both?
I know this is a shock to you. If you feel your Dad has been taken advantage of in any way, please consult with an attorney or two to see if your family has any legal claim to your father's care and his assets. Perhaps ultimately you all can come to a compromise. I wholeheartedly wish you the best in this daunting situation.

You're asking why someone would want to marry a man in the later stages of Alzheimer's and also answered it.

For the money and the assets. That is why someone would marry a person with Alzheimer's or dementia.
When my father was in his 80's he took up with a woman in her early 60's. She was an indigent, mentally ill alcoholic with a long police record in several states. My father didn't have dementia and was in unbelievably good health. He wasn't rich, but he'd done well enough for himself. My whole family knew exactly what the relationship was for and saw right through it. Nothing anyone could do and we all lived nearby.
Then very suddenly he had a stroke. That's when POA kicks in and he kept these things in my name.
I put her in the street but she'd already done plenty of damage.
There was nothing you could have done. I would suggest that you see an elder law attorney and tell him what happened. You may be able to recover some of your father's estate at least, and possibly break the will if there is any documentation of Alzheimer's. Even if there isn't, it's worth a try and you should talk to a lawyer.

I think that ship has sailed.

The question is not why, but can there be anything done?
If you weren't aware of his condition, you might have a tough time proving he was not in his right mind when signing over POA and legal docs. Which by law states by sound mind, otherwise it's fraud.
Speak with a estate attorney and see if there's recourse you can take as this is not as uncommon as you might think.
Good luck.

Call Adult Protective Services "now". She needs to be prosecuted.

Elder Abuse

Please open your eyes - this woman knew with proper planning she could take over his "fortune" and got away with it - happens all the time. I have seen it too many times. My life was nearly taken when I was a poa and caretaker for someone for 28 years - a stranger conned her into getting $115,000 from her and got it and when I went to fight to get it back into her account and name only (I was successful), my life was threatened. It is a fact of life. think about it Did you fight this woman? Who won?

If your facts are provable, you might get a judge to reverse the damage she has done because it's elder abuse and probably embezzlement. Contact Elder Law Lawyer and your local Congress person.

fightingbk: What this woman has committed is known as embezzlement. Sadly, she no doubt had zero interest in your father, other than seizing his financials. It is IMPERATIVE that you contact local law enforcement and an elder law attorney posthaste. This woman is a scam artist.

Talk with an elder attorney ASAP!

I don’t get it,.. his in his late stage Alzheimer’s, didn’t recognise you but was able to sign legal documents? Are you saying all the switching happened before he deteriorated? But you are saying he was already 5-6?

The new wife will insist that his illness had no impact at all on his decisions, ad that his mind was clear when he made those decisions and signed the documents. She knows what she is doing.
if he is in another state, that complicates any efforts to undo what was done. different states have different laws.
Whatever did or didn't happen that left his door wide open for her to enter into his life and set up home with him, is in the past.
If you and/or your brother are concerned about your father's well being and what may happen to him in the future, then I would recommend contacting Adult Protective Services in the state where he is living. They may be able to help. Similarly, the Council on Aging that serves his town may help you connect with a local police officer or county caseworker who can 'tag' him in the residential data base as a vulnerable elder...maybe not. Worth asking.