Living with and caring for my 97 yr old dad and I work p/t. Got calls today from all my 3 sibs saying they are coming to our house for Father’s Day. Great, except I’m expected to “throw a party” for all of them. I asked if they could bring a dish to share and I got “ but we are 2-3 hrs away, that’s too difficult”. Whatever... I’ll suck it up for dad.
My sister just got back from 10 days in Jamaica, talking about her fantastic meals ( we eat bland mushy thing cause dad has no teeth ) her daily massages, seaweed wraps because she is soo stressed. Wanna talk about stressed? My therapy is wine. My dad has fallen 3 times this week while I was at work. My job is laying off all of us, gotta find something else quick. My sister doesn’t work but lectures me on finding another job, and yet complains that I am not home enough to monitor dad. Brought up that if we had to pay someone to do what I do, it would be room and board plus pay. She got nasty with me saying I should be happy with just room and board and “ fine we will put him in a VA home which is a death sentence”. Ugh. I feel soo unappreciated.
my mom used to complain about my dad when they were still living at home. then she fell and broke her hip. was away from dad for few weeks (hosp/rehab)
during that time. my sister and I took turns staying/caring for dad. (had alzheimers)
WOW what an eye opener.
I don't know how my mom did it.
I knew my mom was struggling a little. and I made sure I visited a lot and checked on them.
my mom (even at that point I hadn't grasped the complete problem they were getting ready to crash and burn) She was having her own medical issues(beginning dementia)
but staying with my dad alone for the day. and then spending the night. was super stressful. JUST VISITING DOES NOT give you a complete picture ! and both my parents seemed to know how to cover up and seem totally in control.
so I wouldn't judge you at all! completely understand
reading what you sister tells you makes me angry. :(
Shout and scream all you want here. NO ONE will judge you for it.
I don't supposed you could suddenly be 'bedridden' while they are here? Probably not? But one can dream (I am wicked lol)
Take care of yourself and 'white noise' the others unless they are helping in some way. Which doesn't sound very likely.
We have your back here. Take care of your self and do not be a stranger. Hugs
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