Is it bad to not want to get together with family for Easter?

No is not a four letter word. Ok to use it, I'm doing it more, and I've been sleeping better at night.
Years ago, before I learned to say the No word, here's how one Easter went down for me while I was the primary care giver for my mother with late stage cancer. Sister and brother didn't get along very well at the time. So, silly me, I said I would make two (yes two) seperate Easter dinners so they could have some sort of holiday with Mom and not be around each other. I made, from scratch, two entirely differnt meals for them and their kids. Mom thought it was great. Of course no one offered to bring any thing-although I should have asked, but hey, I wanted everyone to have a nice time. Meal one was glazed ham, vegetables, baked potatoes and cake for dessert. Meal two was salmon, vegetables, rice and pie. The meals were four days apart. So, I was busy. It was a blur, but got through it.
Now, years later, I have learned to say no, never again to cooking like that now for anyone who will be visiting us-and dealing with my husband's dementia. I've ordered take out, gone to restaurants. Have had to repeat to my husband (ya know-dementia) that I am not cooking, cleaning (ya know, the company coming kind of cleaning stuff) for anyone this time around as a caregiver. I simply can not do it. It's too much. Nor do people care, they think all we do is while away the hours as we enjoy the blissful state of caring (insert angelic music here) for those who can't care for themselves. Magically making everything run smoothly, gracefully and with joy in our hearts always doing everything perfectly.
Two weeks ago, made a brunch reservation for the two of us at a very nice local restaurant for Easter. Don't know what they'll be serving, food has been very good in the past, and am quite sure we will have a very nice time.

Nugget, your dad asked what you're making for Easter? Tell him "reservations ". Then inform bro you're going Dutch, and have a lovely afternoon.

I do get puzzled by the US tradition of so many large and stressful family holiday dinners. In OZ, everything is closed on Good Friday. Even for non-Christians, it’s not treated as a fun time. On Easter Sunday, the morning revolves around children looking for hidden Easter eggs. As rabbits are such a trial in Oz, there is a push to replace the Easter Bunny with an Easter Bilby, one of the small native furry creatures that no-one sees because they are nocturnal. Chocolate bilbies are all the go! Neither bilbies or bunnies lay eggs, but that never seems to worry children.

Easter is autumn here, and the weather is usually very pleasant. Many many families go away camping for the weekend, and the rivers are often lined with tents. Easter Sunday lunch is normally a very simple BBQ. Tea with grandma perhaps, but I don’t know anyone who even thinks about catering for 25 relations.

Whatever you do, I hope you all manage to enjoy yourselves.

I belong to a local recreation center that is Jewish so they are open on all the Christian holidays. I go there and swim or work out and avoid any family nonsense.

So do something different this weekend. Your brother likely won't mind at all.

Treat this weekend like any other one -- mow the lawn, go to the movies, get Chinese food -- anything that will tell you that it's just another day, because it is.

You know what is bad? Doing something you don't want to do and then resenting it, and feeling worse and worse about it year on year. That's bad.

What would you like to do instead of hosting the family get-together? Do that. Tell your family, with all love and kindness, that you and DH are - whatever. Playing bridge. Waterskiing, A sponsored walk on Kilimanjaro. Watching the grass grow. - and they must make their own arrangements. Send them an Easter basket if you feel so inclined, not if you don't.

Learning to please yourself is a skill we all need to work on, I think.

Assuming it's too late this year, tomorrow being Good Friday and all, and you're lumbered like it or not, you will have to throw yourself into the spirit of the occasion for this last time and make it enjoyable for everyone else even if you can't manage it for yourself. Let the sad commemorations wait until afterwards.

I can empathize. My brother asked a couple of weeks ago if there were any plans for Easter. Other brother said he's been too busy to think about it. I had Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house; also during this period my stepmother, brother, and MIL all died and we are now facing the enormous task of cleaning out MIL's place. I just can't do another holiday for 25+ people. I'd say just be honest and tell them you're not up to it this time. Peace to you.

All of the traditions that I cultivated when my now-grown kiddos were growing up are out the window and unfortunately that includes church-going. My only sibling is dead and the only family I have left are my two children and my 95 yo mother who has dementia. One of my kiddos is hiking the PCT and the other one is at the beach with her in-laws this weekend. I haven't been able to attend church in over two years because I can't leave my mother and don't have a Sunday morning sitter to stay with her.

This 24/7 caregiving gig has smothered any desire that I had for holidays, my birthday, Mother's Day, etc. We do Thanksgiving and Christmas at my home because I can't leave my mother, so most of it falls on me and frankly I'm over it. So I'm fine with being able to skip Easter.

I now have church on my own. I listen to J. Vernon McGee on Thru the Bible every morning as he goes through the Bible.

All of that to say .... life changes in unexpected ways and is short. Do what you can and let the rest go.

In my opinion it would be pretty inconsiderate to change what has become an established expectation this close to the actual date, the time to bow out was a month or more ago. Even so perhaps you could still make arrangements for the four of you to get together at a restaurant, that way you are off the hook for cooking and everyone will be on their best behaviour. Even better there is a time limit to how long you remain at a restaurant so everyone is free to go their separate ways after an hour.

Do what ever you want to do. Don't be too concerned with other peoples feelings.
Time for your brother to grow up and put on big boy pants. He can make a reservation or bring take out or cook for the four of you just as easily as you can.
Tell him how tired you are just like you did here on this forum. If he really cares for you as a sister he'll get it.