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I just married with my husband 3 month and after we don't have a room at my husband house. His sister doesn't let the master room for my husband, and her sons was sleeping with my husband for few years because her husband ran away from her so she have stay at his house. But my husband married me and she doesn't want to let go of the room. That's not good for my marriage. I was very angry. She chased her brother out and asked me and my husband to move out and go rent a house. I asked him go stay with my parents. I pity my husband on it got house like no house. He paid all the house loan and he gets nothing, I don't know what to do to help him.

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yup... it is confusing, and it is all in the family... This wonderful man has a home. He is single, and his sister and her kids need a place to stay... Now his sister and her family is safe. wonderful man finds a wonderful gal. They date, and they get married. Gal doesn't know man's living conditions.. All Gal knows is he is wonderful, and has a home, and later after they are married, that he has extended to his sister and her kids, his extra space in his home.. Now the sister doesn't want to be forced out of her wonderful brother's house, because they have no place to go... ?!?.... YES, it is confusing. They must work out living conditions and chores, and a schedule of sorts...perhaps rent to sister and her kids... Happy New Year... Hope they can work it out... It's going to be cold, and wouldn't want to hear that the kids were kicked out... But sister and her kids could share a room, and let the wonderful man live in his wonderful bedroom with his wonderful wife. Hopefully wonderful man will get a Living Trust very soon.to help determine what will happen to his home and etc.
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I am sorry. I still can’t follow you. He, she, what? I am not trying to be rude but can you explain a bit more clearly please? Thanks.
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he said about it to her but she don't wan to move out. that is the fault of her selfishness. he have been saying but the sister don't want to move out.
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Okay, this is terribly confusing to me! Sorry, I don’t even know where to begin.
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I think the OP gave up and went to bed... Happy New Year y'all!
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Cali and Countrymouse have me so tickled. And I have to say, the time to work all of this out was BEFORE the marriage, not now. It sounds as though your husband is now feeling trapped between his loved sister and his new wife. You are right to beel sorry for him. And you are right that he married YOU, not her. I think that your husband will have to make this decision. Dependent on what he decides to do you may have some decisions of your own to make. So very sorry that this is happening and I hope it gets better. And to all the "regulars" out here, Happy New Year. I hope for the Health of all of us; with that we can handle the rest of it! Al.
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How did you get married to this man not knowing what his living situation was? That doesn't make sense to me..............
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It is his house, just his name on the mortgage/paperwork? Then he can call the shots but this sounds cultural to me.. Is he afraid of his sister? If SIL wants the master, move her sons in with her in the bigger room, and you take the other. That (creepy factor) may make her move her butt. But as she has been living there with her sons for years I think she feels it is "her house", and she is going to dig in hard. No one messes with the mama figure. So don't ask, don't tell, just move them all into the bigger room. And don't move out,, you will never get back in. How old are you and hubs? HOw old are the sons, and do they work,, does she? What did he think was going to happen,, she would just go quietly into the street?
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I wouldn't have married him until he straightened the problem out.
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Did you and/or your husband have a written agreement?

if you have nothing in writing, then can your husband prove that he made all those payments.

if there is a written agreement or proof, then you sit down with her and point out that you cannot be evicted...work out a deal.

but, if there is nothing in writing......then, you have no choice but to move and get on with your lives...and learn this lesson well...ALWAYS GET IT IN WRITING AND SIGNED
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pamzimmrrt Dec 2019
I think if the house is really in his name, and not the sisters.. he has a legal leg to stand on with getting her out..but it may take a while as she will be looked at as a tennent.. and evection is hard and time consuming.
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We can't make this stuff up folks...or can we?
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AlvaDeer Dec 2019
Dolly, you just asked the 64,000 Dollar Question. I once got in SO MUCH TROUBLE assuming something was entirely made up. Still don't know if it was or it wasn't but do know I got in trouble! Hee hee. I often wonder if these are made up, because they come on and then you never see another single thing from the person again. Happy New Year DollyMe
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What arrangement did your new husband make with his sister when she moved in all those years ago? Did he tell her she could stay as long as she wanted? Until her sons were grown if that's what it took?

What discussions about living arrangements did you have with your husband before your marriage? Did you assume your marriage would automatically make you "mistress" of the well established family home and your SIL would do what you told her? Life doesn't usually work that way except in romance novels. When my mother married my father and moved into the house my father purchased 7 years before for his family (parents and siblings) to live in, they shared an upstairs bedroom while my mother's FIL remained in the larger downstairs bedroom he had shared with his wife before her death less than a year before. The crib for my parent's first child was placed in their upstairs bedroom too. When my father's youngest sibling got a job in town, she got an apartment for herself and her father so my parents finally got that larger downstairs bedroom.

It may be a while before long kept living arrangements are changed. You need to talk with your husband and let him talk to his sister. Pushing yourself into the discussion between siblings will likely only make changes more difficult to make, potentially creating life long (or at least marriage long) hard feelings and may end up with the situation actually taking longer to resolve. Your SIL's suggestion you and your husband move out (temporarily) may actually be a good one, particularly if you and SIL are sniping at each other. A little distance many allow for easier discussions between the siblings and a faster resolution.
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You have a husband problem not a SIL. I must ask, why did you move on & marry him if this situation is so unacceptable? It is your husbands house so he needs to be the one to deal with his sister & evict her. You had to have know, when you married him, that the situation wasn’t going to change over night. Encourage your husband to take his house back. She’s been there for years so he will have to formally evict her if she won’t leave on her own.
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Your husband bought a house and paid off all the mortgage.

A few years ago, your SIL's husband abandoned her and she turned to her brother for help. She moved with her sons into her brother's house, where they were all overcrowded but managing.

Three months ago, you married your husband and moved into the same house where they were all living, along with another brother (where did he come from? Did he live there too before she moved in?). This house still belongs to your husband.

The brother moved out and has gone to live somewhere else.

Your SIL thinks that your husband and you should go and live somewhere else too, so that you have privacy as a married couple and she and her sons can continue to live in the family home.

As an alternative, she suggests that you and your husband can move in with your parents.

Hmm. And what about the fact that the house belongs to your husband? Is she going to buy the house from him? Will she pay him rent?

Why can't your husband work this problem out with his sister? It shouldn't really be up to you.
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