I just need some love and suggestions of what to do?

Gina; If his O2 sat is 80% HE IS NOT THINKING CLEARLY.


Have you called Hospice? If he wants to not take meds and doesn't want medical intervention, he should at least should be made comfortable while he is dying. And it would be some support for you.

Bless your heart. I know how you feel. I would be scared too. Men can be so hard when it comes to trying to get them to get the help on here.

They have gave you some good advice on here about calling 911. If he is not doing well just go into another room and make the call. You could save his life.

I too had an umbiblical hernia. Can't play around with that.

I am sorry for what you are going through.

I can’t blame you for being scared because your husband doesn’t take care of himself. Can you have a frank discussion with him about your concerns? Living with an alcoholic is not easy. It sounds like he is on the path to self destruct.

You can’t change anyone’s behavior unless they want to change. If I was told by my doctor that my liver was scarred due to alcohol I would quit drinking as Alcoholism is a disease too. Maybe your husband is in denial of how sick he is. Maybe he feels like he almost died last November and has another chance now. Whether he takes the ball and runs with it is his choice.

I’d have him make an appt with a general surgeon to have that umbilical hernia evaluated and possibly repaired. If it gets too large husband can develop a small bowel obstruction & can potentially get very ill from this.

Who is providing him with alcohol? Does he admit he has a drinking problem? Maybe switch out the beer for a non alcohol brand?

You can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink. He stopped his Lactulose once; is he back to taking it now?

You are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Alcoholism affects the entire family. There is Alcoholic Anonymous for him and Al-Anon for family members. You can join the family support groups in your area to provide support for yourself to learn coping mechanisms to live with an alcoholic. Good luck Gina.

Dear Gina, your profile says that your husband seems to have given up. Now he seems to be doing himself damage, fairly deliberately. He ‘has not worked for 4 years’, and you are trying to carry all the responsibility. Probably all the work, too. I hope that your daughter and son who it seems live with you, also help with running the household and paying the bills. I can see that you are trying to do the best you can. However you cannot make him want to live, particularly if he has started drinking again. From an outsider’s perspective, you might be better off if he doesn’t. Perhaps the best you can do is to stop worrying, do what you can, and let your husband take the consequences of his own decisions. I hope that you are getting love from your family as well as from us on the site, because this behavior is not showing much love to you. I’m so sorry, and I hope that things turn the corner soon.

Gina, back in November, you called 911 even though hubby told you not to.

You saved his life by doing that.

Do it again. Please.

Dear ginamomgoodman,
I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing with your husband. He doesn't seem to realize how upset and scared you are in this situation.
Doctors prefer oxygen levels to be at least 95 or higher. When my mom had to go to a rehab facility for physical therapy after she nearly died from severe dehydration and contracting COVID in her AL facility, her oxygen went down to 72 when she was transported there from the hospital. She's never had it that low so they put her on oxygen. Thankfully, it went up to 93 but they did ask me what I wanted to do if it goes down into the 80's while she's on oxygen. We already had DNR orders in place so I said they would have to call hospice in. She would not be going back to any hospital at that point - those were her wishes. She didn't have anymore problems after that where the oxygen levels were concerned.

With blood pressure my husband's rose to 150/110. When the top number reaches 200 - it's ER time. Hopefully, now that he is back to taking his medication he will continue to do so. But, if he stops again and it gets real high. Just go into another room and call 911 - don't give him a choice or allow him to put you through this needlessly. Let the emergency personnel handle the situation. I sure hope things settle down for you - I'll pray for you - that you may have peace and cooperation from your husband! Take care -

If his oxygen is 82, he is not thinking clearly. Call 911 and let the EMTs talk him into the hospital. At the very least, the EMTs can give him some oxygen which allow him to think more clearly so he can make a rational decision

You can safely take him to the hospital. You may not be permitted to stay in the ER and you might not be allowed to see him BUT the important thing is HE will not be put with anyone that is exhibiting ANY COVID-19 symptoms. They will not put someone with COVID symptoms in an area where others are. So he would be safer in the hospital if he is having problems than he would be at home.
If you are afraid for his well being please do not hesitate to call 911

Gina, great big warm hug!🤗

I don't have a clue what you should do but I pray that you are okay and know that I am praying for you.