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They have accused me of stealing a significant amount of money from my mom as I was on her account in case my sister could not take care of the account. Since then they have sent a letter from a lawyer to say that my mom doesn't want to see or look at my face until I repay the money which I have not stolen. They have also made it so I cannot call and they are removing pictures of me from the property. Is there anything I can do to see my mom. There are no charges or I've not been arrested and I think they are doing this as I've questioned how they were spending my mom's money. I believe that my brother-in-law set up the fraudulent account with my name and someone else's name, that I've never heard of, as my mom accidently gave my sister my SS #. My mom has memory problems and my sisters would not let me get my mom checked out before when I had the health care POA. They are slowing removing me from my mom's memory. What can I do? I am unemployed so therefore I have no money to hire a lawyer, but I believe they use my mom's money for their purposes. Also, my sister who takes care of my mom is an alcoholic and recovering (maybe) drug addict. Would like to get professional care for my mom. Please any help would be appreciated.

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This is a tough situation. You are apparently not a PoA so you have no legal power or say in getting "professional care" for your mom. Have your sisters ever shown you the signed PoA paperwork? How do you know they are her PoAs? Your only option is to try to find free legal help if you wish to pursue control of your mom, which means you will be fighting for guardianship of her. This is done through the courts and takes time and money and will force you to prove your mom's current caregivers are not acting in her best interests and is incapacitated mentally. If you believe she is being abused or neglected by your sisters then you can call APS to report your mom as a vulnerable adult. Apparently I have read on this forum if there is too much acrimony over your mom the court may decide to award guardianship to the county. Then no one in your family will have control of her.
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I would call Adult Protective Services, tell them that you have been falsely confused, present them with any evidence of anything you have, and tell them your fears that your mother is being exploited by your sisters. If this doesn't work you can certainly feel free to visit a police station with your story. They may or may not take any interest. And yes, if there is a case opened by APS and financial exploitation is apparent, the state may be given guardianship of your mother, which, if there IS exploitation, should be welcome news to you.
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Sharbear940 Aug 2020
I have called APS numerous times but since it is confidential, they cannot tell me what happens even though I'm the one reporting it. It's frustrating.

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Go to the bank and tell them that you believe that you are named as a joint account holder fraudulently. They will look into it and determine who set the account up and if they find that it was identity theft then they will pursue the legal action.

If they did open an account representing themselves as you, this is criminal and you don't need an attorney, you need to file police reports for identity theft.

I would be checking my credit reports to see if they have obtained any other accounts you are not aware of.
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Sharbear940 Aug 2020
Yes, I have reported it to the bank, but now my sister has taken me off the account so I am not able to find out what is happening but suspect that they found it was not me as they have not filed any criminal charges.

I did mention this to the Police but they didn't really feel there was anything they could do, maybe I need to revisit that.

I have also called the credit people and filed a report as well.

I just want to see my mom.

Thanks!!
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It is a tough situation. I was her health care POA and they had it changed at one point and didn't mention it to me when I was trying to get her in for an evaluation. They keep saying she is competent to make her own decisions so they keep taking her to the lawyers to find ways to remove me from paperwork or whatever the case might be such as the POA. She can't remember things minute to minute so it is frustrating. With the fact they changed the phone number after 58 years, have removed pictures of me, they are slowly making it so she will forget me at a certain point.

Thank you for your reply!
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Hi Sharbear940: You say that you have been to the banks, to APS and to the police. I am surprised that APS refused to speak to you after your report, because generally they report back to a reporter whether they are opening a case, or whether they see no reason to open a case. I would return to them if you are still being denied access.
You also say you WERE POA and that was changed, that your mother was taken by your other two sisters to change that. Was that "taking of Mom" to change things done when there was already a diagnosis of dementia? Because that would not be legal.
I think if you have gone to all authorities, do keep careful records of that fact, a diary if you will. And you are left with throwing yourself upon the mercy of your two sisters. You can beg to please just be allowed to see your Mother so she knows you love her, even if visits are supervised. Unless your two sisters are EVIL I cannot imagine them denying you this.
Application for guardianship of your mother when currently she has two siblings already in charge as POA for Health and POA for financial is very unlikely to get you anywhere. If you apply for guardianship with lawyers, through the courts, it may run as high as 5,000 to 10,000. Those funds could be reimbursed if you won the case, by proving your sisters took advantage financially and physically of a demented Mom after her diagnosis, through your Mom's estate, but that is IF you won your case. That would be a terribly long road to travel.
Myself I would throw myself upon the mercy of my sisters unless I thought them both evil and abusive. I would beg to see my Mom on scheduled visits whether they be supervised visits or not. I would leave my Mom, if able to see her, out of any sibling wars going on. It could only tear her to pieces and do her great harm. I am so sorry for all you are going through.
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Sharbear940 Aug 2020
There has been no diagnosis because if there is one, then they cannot take my mom to sign paperwork. Yes, they are EVIL and my bother-in-law plays a big role in this. My sister and her husband have done this to his sisters and they have not spoken to them in about 6 years, I think. I will continue to report things that happen but they are making it very hard to get to my mom. My sisters and I do not talk at this time as they also wanted me to sign a settlement document stating that I stole my mom's money and pay it back. If you are not guilty, you are not going to sign something like that! They want me to prove I didn't steal the money and they are the ones accusing me so I would think they would need to provide proof of that and I think they have a dirty lawyer too! Just so much as happened in the last 2-3 years!
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