Follow
Share

I've done background checks, there isn't any relation between these people that I can find. I think this guy is trying to scam her. He says he has power of attorney but hasn't produced it after being asked several times. What can I do?

Find Care & Housing
I am assuming your friend is not competent.

Adult Protection Services maybe able to help but they might not be open. If not, call the police. Tell them the circumstances. Ask how you can prove this man is who he says he is.

In the meantime, do not allow him in. Tell him you need proof who he is by providing a birth certificate. He also needs to provide a POA that has been signed by your friend and assigned by her to him. Until he does that, you cannot in good conscience allow him in.

Who pays you to care for this friend?
Helpful Answer (15)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Call the police, people are unscrupulous and will prey on vulnerable seniors.

The law will not just take his word for it, especially since you have run background check and can find not link to your client.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

Why would she have given him POA 25 yrs ago if they didn't even get along.  This is very fishy.  I wouldn't let him near her unless he can produce official paperwork that you can verify.  I would call Adult Protective Services and ask for advice on how to handle this.  I am almost afraid to ask this question...does she have any paperwork in order at all?  Directives...a will?  How are you taking care of her without POA?  When she was hospitalized, who was making decisions for her?  Sorry I have more questions than answers.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Jamesj
Report

I agree with ITRR, call the police and if you live with the lady, don't let him in!

Does she have any other contacts that you can check with or ask about this person?
Stay safe!
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Rbuser1
Report

Ask if the "son" is willing to take an DNA test. These tests are easy to get from Ancestery.com and 23andMe. They cost around $75 dollars each.

If the "son" refuses to take a test, then you know something isn't on the up and up. Or he may then claim he is a step-son or adopted. If the son says yes, the lady you have been caring for would also need to take the test. It's mainly spitting into a tube, and sending off the samples.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to freqflyer
Report
Grandma1954 Apr 27, 2020
I think it would have to be 2 tests
1 for the "son" and 1 for "mom"
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
He’ll need to prove to the police and state that he has POA and is her son. It’s not about providing you with proof. Get law enforcement involved immediately. 5 years is a long time to never know that he existed.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Justme523
Report

I am surprised no one has mentioned this. Of course notify the police and while the police are present, say "so glad to see you" I have a number of bills that need to be paid for her, can I give them to you? See how quickly this guy disappears.

I would not bother with the DNA test that is way to complicated. If he is legitimately her son, it will be his responsibility to prove this. And by the way, does your "friend" recognize him?

On another note, you did not adequately describe your relationship with this person. Sometimes doing a good deed gets us in over our head. This might be the case here.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to mike45
Report
CaregiverL Apr 27, 2020
Good idea with the bills!
(2)
Report
This does sound like a scam.   Do you live with her or does she live alone?   If the latter does she have an alert pendant, lock box on the exterior of her house where a key can be stored for emergency personnel?

Does she have any family photos?   Anything that might show a son or other relatives?   
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to GardenArtist
Report

Did I miss your answers to the questions asked of you by other posters? Questions like “Who pays you to care for this friend” and “how did you become her caretaker”. You mentioned “they don’t care about her” and “they had changed the emergency contact from myself, to them” ... who are “they” that you are talking about?
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to kdcm1011
Report
AndreaE Apr 27, 2020
I wondered about that too. I must have missed something.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
You contact the police and you don’t allow him in until he shows documentation. If he is a scammer, you both could be in danger.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Suetillman
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter