I've done background checks, there isn't any relation between these people that I can find. I think this guy is trying to scam her. He says he has power of attorney but hasn't produced it after being asked several times. What can I do?
Adult Protection Services maybe able to help but they might not be open. If not, call the police. Tell them the circumstances. Ask how you can prove this man is who he says he is.
In the meantime, do not allow him in. Tell him you need proof who he is by providing a birth certificate. He also needs to provide a POA that has been signed by your friend and assigned by her to him. Until he does that, you cannot in good conscience allow him in.
Why would she have given him POA 25 yrs ago if they didn't even get along. This is very fishy. I wouldn't let him near her unless he can produce official paperwork that you can verify. I would call Adult Protective Services and ask for advice on how to handle this. I am almost afraid to ask this question...does she have any paperwork in order at all? Directives...a will? How are you taking care of her without POA? When she was hospitalized, who was making decisions for her? Sorry I have more questions than answers.
Ask if the "son" is willing to take an DNA test. These tests are easy to get from Ancestery.com and 23andMe. They cost around $75 dollars each.
If the "son" refuses to take a test, then you know something isn't on the up and up. Or he may then claim he is a step-son or adopted. If the son says yes, the lady you have been caring for would also need to take the test. It's mainly spitting into a tube, and sending off the samples.
He’ll need to prove to the police and state that he has POA and is her son. It’s not about providing you with proof. Get law enforcement involved immediately. 5 years is a long time to never know that he existed.
I am surprised no one has mentioned this. Of course notify the police and while the police are present, say "so glad to see you" I have a number of bills that need to be paid for her, can I give them to you? See how quickly this guy disappears.
I would not bother with the DNA test that is way to complicated. If he is legitimately her son, it will be his responsibility to prove this. And by the way, does your "friend" recognize him?
On another note, you did not adequately describe your relationship with this person. Sometimes doing a good deed gets us in over our head. This might be the case here.
This does sound like a scam. Do you live with her or does she live alone? If the latter does she have an alert pendant, lock box on the exterior of her house where a key can be stored for emergency personnel?
Does she have any family photos? Anything that might show a son or other relatives?
Did I miss your answers to the questions asked of you by other posters? Questions like “Who pays you to care for this friend” and “how did you become her caretaker”. You mentioned “they don’t care about her” and “they had changed the emergency contact from myself, to them” ... who are “they” that you are talking about?
Adult Protection Services maybe able to help but they might not be open. If not, call the police. Tell them the circumstances. Ask how you can prove this man is who he says he is.
In the meantime, do not allow him in. Tell him you need proof who he is by providing a birth certificate. He also needs to provide a POA that has been signed by your friend and assigned by her to him. Until he does that, you cannot in good conscience allow him in.
Who pays you to care for this friend?
The law will not just take his word for it, especially since you have run background check and can find not link to your client.
Does she have any other contacts that you can check with or ask about this person?
Stay safe!
If the "son" refuses to take a test, then you know something isn't on the up and up. Or he may then claim he is a step-son or adopted. If the son says yes, the lady you have been caring for would also need to take the test. It's mainly spitting into a tube, and sending off the samples.
1 for the "son" and 1 for "mom"
I would not bother with the DNA test that is way to complicated. If he is legitimately her son, it will be his responsibility to prove this. And by the way, does your "friend" recognize him?
On another note, you did not adequately describe your relationship with this person. Sometimes doing a good deed gets us in over our head. This might be the case here.
Does she have any family photos? Anything that might show a son or other relatives?
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