By clicking Talk to a Specialist
for information about our privacy practices.
When my mother lived in independent living, she stopped showering, then stopped washing altogether. We tried for a full year to get her in the shower - might as well have tried to move a mountain. When we moved her to assisted living, she still refused. It took three months before she trusted an aide to help her "once in a while" and only because she was told she smelled. By law, they can't "force" them to shower if they refuse, and believe me, dementia patients can be stubborn!
When Mom fell and we moved her to a nursing home, she was confined to a wheel chair, recliner and bed. Then she had no choice, and I don't know how they did it, or if she gave up fighting, but they washed her. In the five months she was there, she was always clean, her hair washed and clothes clean. Her diaper never smelled, she never had a bed sore, and they put lotion all over her every day. Any little bump, cut or bruise, they were on the phone to us reporting it.
So, if your husband is in a nursing home, you should expect that he will be kept clean and injury free. If you have concerns you should sit down with the director and discuss it. Yes, patients can refuse to cooperate, but they should have at least one person who he would connect with to get the job done. Nursing homes cost a fortune, and you should expect him to be cared for and if he isn't, you need to know why. Maybe if he is resisting, they can give him medication to make him more cooperative.
I try to shower her once a week and wash her hair which is a big ordeal
Her 4 UTIs since February are the result of inproper hygiene and being left in a soiled diaper - without me paying a private caregiver no one at the facility even puts a diaper on her- and I'm paying an extra $450 a month for incontinence care on top of the higher $300 a day for memory care - private caregivers are on top of this - we will soon go broke - our whole elder care system is horrendous