How much exercise for my Mom (92) on comfort care?

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My mom is 92, post stroke, post hip fracture surgery, chf, vascular dementia, repeated bouts of pneumonia. In a nh for 2 years now.

She was ambulatory with a walker until last winter, when she spent a week in the hospital with sepsis from a chest tap (long story). Came back to nh with contracture of both legs and a compression fracture in her spine. PT, amazingly, got her up walking again. Not independent but can walk with supervision. No more PT, but she has a walking protocol that the aides do, walking her each day with a gait belt. My mother is a very contented sort, likes to watch Fox news and watch what's going on in the hallway. She has never been the social type, and now with aphasia, even less so.

There is an "exercise class" each day at 11 am. Mom is on Comfort Care and is allowed to sleep in if she pleases. Which she does...always did, likes to stay up late and watch tv.

My sister in law, who lives nearby and visits often, wants mom to go to exercise class. She talks to mom about and mom nods vigorously, yes, she wants to try it. (Mom is a people pleaser. Always has been).

Am I wrong to think that my mom should be able to do what she wants? Can anyone think of a nice way to get SIL to back off? Maybe I should just go to the "whine" thread?

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I think the exercise would be good for your mother since it would help her mobility as well as increase blood flow to her major organs. But she wouldn't be the first older person to shy away from exercise; even young people take that approach!

And in the long run the interaction with others could be stimulating and helpful, more so than staying up late and watching tv, which is passive as opposed to active as exercise would be. I'm wondering if she would find interaction and watching others enjoyable, as opposed to watching the activity in the hall. That might be a motivator.

However, it's your mother's life, and at this stage, she's entitled to do what she wants.

I might try to get her to a few exercise sessions to see if she enjoys them, and if she doesn't, just let it go. I think SIL might be thinking as I am, that it's better for her in the long run.

So often we in these positions try to do what's best for our parents, and sometimes it's really difficult to put ourselves in their situations and ask what THEY would really want to do. I still think it would be wonderful if someone could invent a holographic simulator allowing us to step into our parent's world to see what they're really facing and dealing with on a regular basis.
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Thanks to you both! My is in a sunny room with a roommate and she (mom) loves to watch the goings on in the hall - the aides gossiping, inspection people. She has nuns and a priest who visit a couple of times a week. Bro and sil stop by several times a week and I go up every other week or oftener, I'm two hours away.

I'm just venting, really.
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If SIL wants to go and get mom up and down to exercise, that's fine. Otherwise, just let SIL want mom to go...mom will agree...and it won't happen, LOL. Just let both of them play their roles. Don't worry on your end. SIL isn't too committed to having it happen if she won't go to make it happen. My mom agrees to anything I suggest, but I'm wise enough to know that 99.9% of it won't happen, LOL.
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Babalou, am I your sister-in-law?? LOL While the reasons vary, I am the one trying to get my MIL to do whatever she can. The sound of a human voice and the presence of others (to me) is a life affirming thing. Left to her own devices, my MIL would sit in her bedroom (In AL) with no lights on all day and all night. I sweep her out to a sunny room, lead her in chair exercises, and try to stimulate her when I visit. Her children help her into bed (immediately after meals) and talk 'at her' while she is in bed. After a number of months of this, she can no longer transfer from bed to chair to toilet and back on her own. And even with assistance, it is a struggle. So AL is talking to family about moving her to NH. My feeling is to keep these folks moving as long as they can. BTW, my MIL is several years older than your Mom.
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