There is no "should" calling. A son or daughter calls out of love, not out of "should". He will call when the spirit moves him and no one has a right to question when he calls.
I disagree ferris1, I think decent people call because it is the right thing to do. Extremely selfish people only do it when they darn well feel like it and it makes THEM happy and to heck with caring towards anyone else.
As an elder parent, I say don't call if you feel you 'have to'. Trust me, a parent knows the difference. I would rather have a call that's not hurried once a month than a quick check in once a week. People are busy now a days, but.
My take on this is a little different. My brother lives 1200 miles away and he was having very little contact with our parents (now aged 100 and 96), who live in an assisted living facility. He and I had a discussion on what he could do for ME from that distance, and I told him call our folks every week at an agreed-upon time. It gave me one day where I didn't have to contact them. But it also gave them bragging rights to their friends at the facility, because so many have no family contact at all. So he calls on Sunday afternoons each week, and they really look forward to it. So cc, maybe if you asked your brother to do this for YOU, he would be more responsive.
If this question needs to be asked there is obviously already an issue. You should call your parents just to say hello, even if the conversation is the same, monotonous and they can't hear you. Ask me how I know. On the other hand I have only one brother who is "too busy, works, is going to church or the cemetery to put flowers on the dead father's grave" to call or visit his alive mother. Oh wait, I forgot he did come on Christmas Day for a total of one hour to see her at my house where mom spends all the holidays and celebrations, he couldn't wait to get out of there quick enough. Just stating the facts.
I have to put my 2 cents in here. Everyone is busy, period. You make time for your parents because you know it is important to them. Sometimes husbands are closer to their wives family. If that is the case, the wife should encourage husband to call his parents. You will have a clear conscience and no regrets. I think you get to a point when you just have to say, it is his loss not mine.
I agree with the others.. there is no should, its his business, his attitude and his responsibility. Maybe, just maybe he feels upset esp if he was mummy's boy that he no longer has the parents he had as a child.. and now he gets what really can be identified with a brick wall at times. Its not yours to plan, worry get upset about.. My parents have 5 kids. only 2 of us keep regular contact with Ma, I had no contact while Pa was alive. I had become his victim of dementia, the evil one etc etc.. so best keep away, was the motto of the day. Now I do what I can for Ma and know by the time I put the key in the car door, she will have forgotten who I was and that I had visited. so save your energy for your own family, you never know when those contacts fail. and do for your parents as you will
ccflorida, I think you've seen a lot of responses here, pro and con. The main thing brother needs to consider is how will he feel once a parent passes on? Will he feel guilt about never calling? But again, it will be his burden, his guilt or no guilt. For me, I was on the phone with my dad over 5 times a DAY, yes a day, for YEARS. Not counting weekly visits, meals, taking care of his home, etc. Then once his ALZ got bad, it didn't matter if I call or visit, he never remembers from one minute to the next if I did call or visit. I could sit and visit with him for hours, leave his room for 10 minutes, come back in and he say "well, hi there!' as if I had just come to visit...IF he remembers who I am. He doesn't have a clue if I call or visit, zero short term memory. But I do know the burden of taking those multiple calls, to discuss the SAME thing, SAME story over and over and over....it made me avoid the phone, check the caller ID often. Bottom line, you have a caring heart, bless you. But your brother will deal with his own consequences when a parent passes, all you can do is ask him and remind him of how he may feel when this does happen. Good luck.
When my monster-in-law was in the NH, hubs wouldn't call and since she hated me I wouldn't call either. So for his sake, I wrote a letter once in a while. Its kind of like, create a storm and then wonder why is it is raining. If you are nice, people will be nice back, if you are mean, people will ignore you.
Maybe, just maybe he feels upset esp if he was mummy's boy that he no longer has the parents he had as a child.. and now he gets what really can be identified with a brick wall at times.
Its not yours to plan, worry get upset about.. My parents have 5 kids. only 2 of us keep regular contact with Ma, I had no contact while Pa was alive. I had become his victim of dementia, the evil one etc etc.. so best keep away, was the motto of the day. Now I do what I can for Ma and know by the time I put the key in the car door, she will have forgotten who I was and that I had visited.
so save your energy for your own family, you never know when those contacts fail. and do for your parents as you will