Back story, my husband and I were high school sweethearts, married for 30 plus years now. My husband is youngest of 3 but his older brother passed in 2019. Shortly after his brother died, his Mother (74) was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and at the time was told it would take her quickly. By then Covid was in full swing and we only had 2 options. Place her in care facility and not be able visit her, or take on all of her care ourselves. Long story short, “OURSELVES” became “MYSELF” real fast. Because of COVID we had to limit her risk and my Husband was still working so I had no choice. In March of 2020, I took a leave of absence from my job, move out of my home, and stopped seeing my grandchildren to move in with and care for my MIL. (Side note my SIL who worked from home, lived alone, and was only 5 houses from her mom, decided this wasn’t her problem). By July 2020 Covid was slowing down and my MIL needed a second surgery to try to remove as much of the cancer as they could. Afterwords she would need 6 more months of chemotherapy. I couldn’t do it alone anymore, so she sold her house and moved her in to our home. I thought having my husband around would make things easier and it did for a little while. But both him and my MIL were uncomfortable with him helping her with things like dressing, bathing & Doctors appointments, so once again her care was left to me... fast forward to Feb 2021. She did it, she beat the odds and is now in remission. She isn’t the same as before this happened but she no longer needs the constant care, in fact now that I’m back to work, I believe she would benefit from being in a senior community where there would be someone around to check in on her. I believe I’ve done my part, the crisis is over and now it’s time to pass the torch back to her and her children. Only now they like it the way things are... and by “THEY” I mean all three of them. MY MIL is happy living with us, she has become comfortable with me being there to take care of her, (my issue is, why try to do things like cook or clean if you have someone else do it for you). My husband likes having his mom living with us, (she never asks anything of him so he doesn’t see what’s wrong with letting her stay). And his sister gets the best of both world (her mom is being care for and she gets to go on with life like nothing ever happened). I’m at that point where the only way things are going to change (and I need them to change) is if I stand my ground and force them to ... But how do I force my Husband & SIL to step up and do their part without making my MIL feel I’m rejecting her?