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He will not eat his ice cream these days and he won’t take capsule pills that I break apart and add to his meds. It was working for a while until he found out it was not what I said it was. Now he won’t drink anything I serve him and no snacks. I do make dinner so there is still that. I’m on my last nerve before I just give up! Any advice would be amazing. Thank you! 😊

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I think you need to get to why having take his medications
when I started giving dad his I hit my vitamin pills preening they were my medication and took them with him
saying well both have our bed together then a nice cup of tea and biscuit and it worked

My father was given liquid form of his tablets in hospital out into a large shringe. Now he takes tablets no liquid but it took a while mixing them up in a spoonful of yogurt


I think someone needs to understand why he doesn’t want to take them - then Try and act like it’s no big deal
of give him a reward afterwards
cup of tea with you and a biscuit ?
wishing you the best this gets resolved quickly
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Reply to Jenny10
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I'd try to find a way to hide them, in drinks, pudding, mashed potatoes, whatever he likes and will eat. As someone mentioned, if it is available in liquid form, that might be easier. Maybe try several different times of the day, if he says no in the morning, he might be ok to try after lunch. It is probably time for hospice and/or a memory care placement.

If he isn't taking them in any way despite your good efforts, there's not much else you can do. You can make a choice to let the chips will fall as they may. Eventually he'll end up wherever he needs to be.
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Reply to LakeErie
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I'd tell Grandpa what Burnt always says on here...
The fastest way for him to end up in a nursing home is being stubborn.

Tell him this in a casual manner, basically you don't care, because he doesn't.
It doesn't hurt you at all, and saves you time and trouble. Seriously, having to open capsules, find different ways to mix meds in, or deal with his ungrateful and stupid attitude?

Maybe you should tell him he won't get dinner from his bad behavior? Treat him like the Toddler he is acting like. They don't play those games in a facility or hospital. They stand there and watch you take the meds.
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Reply to Dawn88
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My husband sometimes refuses his meds saying that the doctors and I want to kill him. After a couple of hours he is in a different mood and he will take them if I explain what they do. I also show him the paperwork from the pharmacy so he can see (or pretend to see) which doctor prescribed them and why. I don't know how long it will last, but at the moment this works. Good luck.
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Reply to AnnaKat
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How about a virtual visit with his doctor? My mom (stage 5 dementia among other ailments) still has a very very strong bias towards male authority figures. I've made sure that her priority doctors are male. I make recording of them giving instruction when necessary.
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Reply to Sechat
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Don’t give it to him. My vile mother used to do the same, refused to take any medication my brother gave to her, she didn’t want to be told to take it. She thought she was still capable of handling it. She couldn’t. She had dementia. So no one gave it to her anymore. She’s 87, so no need to keep her around
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Reply to Berry2017
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Isabelsdaughter Jan 3, 2026
It isn't healthy to be carrying all that hate around.
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I didn’t have much trouble with my dementia patient but a bit of show and tell sometimes helped.

I would take her BP and pulse and record the numbers each morning in a log. During covid, we added the temp as well. If she had already indicated she wasn’t going to take the meds, I might say, well let’s wait and skip them tomorrow. Your BP is a bit up today. We don’t want a stroke. They won’t let me go in with you at the hospital might get thrown into the convo if I was really laying it on.

Another time, I might say, well which one is that anyway? Do you really need it? Let me see. I would look up the med and read off a few of the things it was given for. Hmmm. What do you think. Feel like having trouble pooping today? remember that impaction?

If you are saying he is fine taking meds in the morning but not in the evening, I would see about getting extended release tablets or ones that could be given earlier. I had a rule that aunt could only have meds in the morning as that is when she had help with them, the docs went along with it.
When she needed a twice a day antibiotic I saw that someone gave it. That didn’t happen too often.

Try to keep the trust. It can go a long way in keeping you both sane. Monitor your reaction when he balks on something. No one likes to lose control of everything.
Notice if he is just bored and looking for a bit of conflict. Don’t give in to that. Walk away in a good mood. Give him a kiss, a little shoulder rub. Look him in the eye and sing to him. Two favorites….You are so beautiful…Chattanooga Choo Choo. Agree, sympathize when possible. Therapeutic fibs are sometimes necessary. Have fun. It’s possible.

To get my aunt to drink more water, I bought the small bottles of water. I told her my doctor wanted me to drink 8 of them a day. I would hand her one and say, help me out. She would demonstrate how easy that was by guzzling the whole thing down. Which reminds me that if you break the pills up into multiple batches, he will have a reason to drink more water and the number of pills won’t be so overwhelming each time offered.
note…I don’t approve of plastic bottles but I made an exception for her.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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My husband decided several weeks ago that he was not going to take any more meds. He hasn't been diagnosed with dementia, so he still can make decisions about such matters. I backed off. Sure enough, one morning about 5 a.m , he had a really bad seizure of some sort. He refused to have an ambulance and EMTs out. After that, he told me to get his meds back for him. I agree with another comment.....sometimes you just have to let the cards fall where they may. Hopefully, you can put the deck back together.
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Reply to MTNester1
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May I ask why you are responsible for taking care of your grandpa? Who is "we" -- do you have other help?
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Reply to MG8522
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Dementiahelp1: Speak to his physician.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Give up and let the cards fall where they may. If he doesn't take his meds, he can go into a facility. If he is cognizant enough to understand, you can tell him his choice not to take his pills may lead to an early death. If he doesn't care, so be it.
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Reply to Lylii1
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What medications does he take? And, how far along is his dementia? The reason that I'm asking is that he can choose not to take medication if he is of sound mind. Also, the meds may make the food taste bad, so there's that. You can also talk with your pharmacist to get strategies, or even better tasting formulations. Having an honest conversation with your grandfather is warranted as well. All the best!
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Reply to puptrnr
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Maybe a sincere conversation with your Grandpa about how important the medication is, that is if that is the case.
Maybe mixed up in a milkshake. It is possible that the meds make him feel terrible, and maybe he really should not be on them??? Ask yourself if you would want to be forced to take pills you do not want to take, if you would not fight back too. Hopefully, he has other caretakers besides a grandchild. It is a lot of work and responsibility. Maybe apologize to Grandpa for the sneakiness, but that you were just trying to help.

🙏❤️🍀
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Reply to Tiger8
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What medication are you trying to give to him?
And why does he not want it?
There is obviously a reason he does not want the medication. I would start there and try and resolve that.
You've been sneaky, and so now he doesn't trust you.
Have you tasted the capsule that you break apart and add to food or drink?
I usually try it first, to see how well it dissolves, how does it change the taste, does it stay gritty, in small pieces you can feel and taste?
If he can taste it, then you are not being stealth at all, just sneaky, and he feels he's being lied to. Pretty hard to build trust after that.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Is he eating and drinking less as well? His body might be shutting down. He might be ready for a hospice consult. Talk to his PCP
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Reply to MACinCT
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This is really discussion to have with DOCTOR, not with a bunch of strangers with opinions.

First of all, when a senior is having so much dementia that they absolutely CAN taste the medication you attempt to hide and will NOT take it, this all becomes quite impossible.
Nothing will work. Either the senior will stop eating because it tastes awful or he/she will believe you are attempting to poison them (and who wouldn't believe that).

You also are beholden to check with an MD or pharmacist which meds CAN be administering by crushing or emptying capsules in this way.
Many meds are time released, do more harm than good administered this way.

Time to review medications with MD.
Time to consider palliative care with a good gerontologist.
Time to consider which medications are crucial to life and which cannot/will not be tolerated.

Best of luck. Call the doc.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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We started crushing things up and putting them into food to hide them. Another option is to ask the pharmacist to make the drugs up in a liquid sweet tasting form and add that to a drink. We do it for my cats, I'm sure it can be done for Grandpa.

It is so hard when they won't take meds. Maybe try a different dessert, and have someone else give it to him. Also look at the pills you're giving him. Does he really need all of them? We went over things with the drs and nurses that my mom could stop toward the end. When you say he found out it was not what you said it was, does that mean you told him he was taking one pill but it was a different one, or just that they were in there at all?

We just went through all of this with my mom, and she didn't want to take any pills at all after being on many of them for decades. We had to decide what were the most important to keep her alive and out of distress and what she could live without. Some went into food, some into drinks.
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Reply to SamTheManager
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You say that "He is fine until it's evening time" which tells me that perhaps your grandpa is suffering from what is called sundowning, which often accompanies dementia but can also stand on its own. Moods change when the sun begins to go down and can last for several hours.
I would most certainly talk with his doctor and pharmacist to see what if anything can be done about both the sundowning and him not taking his medications.
And depending on what his medications are for and if they're truly necessary, you can perhaps tell grandpa that if he won't take his medications that you will have to call in hospice as he will die without them, if that in fact is the truth. Perhaps that will make him rethink the whole situation. But keep in mind if your grandpa does have any of the dementias that there will be no reasoning with him as his brain is now permanently broken.
So best to take him to his doctor to discuss all that is going on and see what his options are.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Please tell us which meds he is prescribed; how old he is and how old are you; does he have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment? Also, do you live with him?

Thanks for the extra info.
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Reply to Geaton777
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