He will not eat his ice cream these days and he won’t take capsule pills that I break apart and add to his meds. It was working for a while until he found out it was not what I said it was. Now he won’t drink anything I serve him and no snacks. I do make dinner so there is still that. I’m on my last nerve before I just give up! Any advice would be amazing. Thank you! 😊
First of all, when a senior is having so much dementia that they absolutely CAN taste the medication you attempt to hide and will NOT take it, this all becomes quite impossible.
Nothing will work. Either the senior will stop eating because it tastes awful or he/she will believe you are attempting to poison them (and who wouldn't believe that).
You also are beholden to check with an MD or pharmacist which meds CAN be administering by crushing or emptying capsules in this way.
Many meds are time released, do more harm than good administered this way.
Time to review medications with MD.
Time to consider palliative care with a good gerontologist.
Time to consider which medications are crucial to life and which cannot/will not be tolerated.
Best of luck. Call the doc.
Thanks for the extra info.
I would most certainly talk with his doctor and pharmacist to see what if anything can be done about both the sundowning and him not taking his medications.
And depending on what his medications are for and if they're truly necessary, you can perhaps tell grandpa that if he won't take his medications that you will have to call in hospice as he will die without them, if that in fact is the truth. Perhaps that will make him rethink the whole situation. But keep in mind if your grandpa does have any of the dementias that there will be no reasoning with him as his brain is now permanently broken.
So best to take him to his doctor to discuss all that is going on and see what his options are.
Maybe mixed up in a milkshake. It is possible that the meds make him feel terrible, and maybe he really should not be on them??? Ask yourself if you would want to be forced to take pills you do not want to take, if you would not fight back too. Hopefully, he has other caretakers besides a grandchild. It is a lot of work and responsibility. Maybe apologize to Grandpa for the sneakiness, but that you were just trying to help.
🙏❤️🍀
It is so hard when they won't take meds. Maybe try a different dessert, and have someone else give it to him. Also look at the pills you're giving him. Does he really need all of them? We went over things with the drs and nurses that my mom could stop toward the end. When you say he found out it was not what you said it was, does that mean you told him he was taking one pill but it was a different one, or just that they were in there at all?
We just went through all of this with my mom, and she didn't want to take any pills at all after being on many of them for decades. We had to decide what were the most important to keep her alive and out of distress and what she could live without. Some went into food, some into drinks.
And why does he not want it?
There is obviously a reason he does not want the medication. I would start there and try and resolve that.
You've been sneaky, and so now he doesn't trust you.
Have you tasted the capsule that you break apart and add to food or drink?
I usually try it first, to see how well it dissolves, how does it change the taste, does it stay gritty, in small pieces you can feel and taste?
If he can taste it, then you are not being stealth at all, just sneaky, and he feels he's being lied to. Pretty hard to build trust after that.
If he isn't taking them in any way despite your good efforts, there's not much else you can do. You can make a choice to let the chips will fall as they may. Eventually he'll end up wherever he needs to be.
I would take her BP and pulse and record the numbers each morning in a log. During covid, we added the temp as well. If she had already indicated she wasn’t going to take the meds, I might say, well let’s wait and skip them tomorrow. Your BP is a bit up today. We don’t want a stroke. They won’t let me go in with you at the hospital might get thrown into the convo if I was really laying it on.
Another time, I might say, well which one is that anyway? Do you really need it? Let me see. I would look up the med and read off a few of the things it was given for. Hmmm. What do you think. Feel like having trouble pooping today? remember that impaction?
If you are saying he is fine taking meds in the morning but not in the evening, I would see about getting extended release tablets or ones that could be given earlier. I had a rule that aunt could only have meds in the morning as that is when she had help with them, the docs went along with it.
When she needed a twice a day antibiotic I saw that someone gave it. That didn’t happen too often.
Try to keep the trust. It can go a long way in keeping you both sane. Monitor your reaction when he balks on something. No one likes to lose control of everything.
Notice if he is just bored and looking for a bit of conflict. Don’t give in to that. Walk away in a good mood. Give him a kiss, a little shoulder rub. Look him in the eye and sing to him. Two favorites….You are so beautiful…Chattanooga Choo Choo. Agree, sympathize when possible. Therapeutic fibs are sometimes necessary. Have fun. It’s possible.
To get my aunt to drink more water, I bought the small bottles of water. I told her my doctor wanted me to drink 8 of them a day. I would hand her one and say, help me out. She would demonstrate how easy that was by guzzling the whole thing down. Which reminds me that if you break the pills up into multiple batches, he will have a reason to drink more water and the number of pills won’t be so overwhelming each time offered.
note…I don’t approve of plastic bottles but I made an exception for her.
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