Getting rid of the dog. Any advice?

I understand that caring for a dog takes it toll on the elderly and sometimes for all concerned a dog needs to be in placed elsewhere. But when you verbalize the words "gid rid of the dog" it really irks me. Domesticated animals are just as precious as human beings. It is just as bad as getting rid of the elderly to a nursing home because they are no longer viable

RU there`s something very wrong here. Remember, anyone can look at your prior posts and see if you`re on the up and up, which it appears you may not be.. The dog can`t be in the house for an old lady that sleeps with it - likely the only friend she has in the world ... may God forgive you because I certainly won`t. Remember Kharma is a b*tch.

That said, animals give people more comfort than you will ever know. Ever wonder why nursing homes are regularly visited by animals ... of course not, you seem to hate your MIL and everyone else around you along with the world in general. Along with your MIL and the poor dog I feel so sorry for your husband but I guess he doesn`t have the balls to deal with his own mother. I wonder how fast hubby will run away from you when you put his mother in a nursing home.

If your MIL has to part with the dog there are rescues that will take him and let him live out his life hospice style.

When my mother went into a NH I inherited her little dog and I take Sue to visit from time to time. Nearing the end of her life it gives her so much joy and comfort. In between Sue`s visits she has stuffed animals she sleeps with that give her some comfort.

You come across as so very cruel and hard hearted and perhaps I`m the only one that has the guts to say so ... so bite me.

The MD may be suggesting that she needs a nursing home, not that she needs to put down the dog. I think I would ask him to clarify the statement.

I still feel that calling up a doxie rescue is the way to go and getting the dog placed as soon as possible. Your MIL will of course miss the dog, but you can tell her this is being done *for the dog's well-being* and the doxie rescue may be able to keep her updated and send pictures sometimes. Given how old the dog is with medical conditions my guess is one of the volunteers will just take her in as a foster for her final time.

This is good for your MIL in a couple of ways. One since she can miss the dog but see proof of well-being this separation will be far easier to handle than the death. If she continues to decline you can spare her ever telling her that the dog has died and it might help her to continue to believe he's okay and be at peace about it. Pet death is wrenching for those who deeply love their animals - this way might spare her that. Either way though she'll need someone to talk to who respects and understands her feelings.

RUburned out, oh I think you are and MIL should be in a nursing home. I feel bad for the dog too, but if poochie's a senior dog and mom has forgotten to take care of him, it would be kinder to put him down. Just tell her bow wow is at the vet, she may not ask after that. If she does just say he's at the vet and not doing well. After a few days tell her he's gone to doggie heaven. Just ease her into it slowly. Expect some tears. Save the collar for her and a picture of the dog. Will it kill her? Probably not, but if she dies right after the dog goes, she was only hanging on for his sake, and didn't want him left behind.

Please consider a third option. There are pet rescue groups devoted to certain breeds of dog and this tiny doxie might qualify for one. Then he could go to one of their foster homes and maybe have a decent quality of life for a little while and your MIL would likely let him go with less fight - you could tell her that with them he could be indoors, have someone doing his meds, etc. To me that's the answer, put in the time now to find a "no kill" option with a rescue group for him and tell your MIL rehoming him is best for reasons that are true. Check out drna(dot)org

It sounds like the dog doesn't have that great a life anyway. I LOVE my cats, but I do have them put to sleep - killed - when they are in pain that won't ever get better.

It's true that it would sometimes be kind to put a human to sleep. I faced that in a mild form when my father wanted to call Dr. Kevorkian. I do see that we can't "just" put people to sleep the way we can pets. (OMG, that poor brain-dead woman in Texas and her family!!!) Animals deserve consideration, love and care, but people come first.

Still, make a few phone calls about a shelter for Fido. Maybe someone would love to take him in. As we know, people aren't rational about animals.

Debralee: taking into consideration that I know the dog's age and health, saying 'git rid of the dog' was a far gentler phrase than a question entitled 'killing the dog--when is it time?'. We can say 'putting the dog down' which is just another way of saying the same thing--splitting hairs. I was more concerned for the timing from those who have been in this situation than measuring my words in case of possible critic backlash. As for 'domesticated animals are just as precious': then going from your view point, there should be no excuse for their neglect to the point of abuse as the vet told us and the dog should have been removed from her a long time ago whether it upsets her or not for the sake of the dog. But we did not because we were trying to avoid her being sorrowful for as long as possible. But now her doctor is advising this. Most people put those in their care in a nursing home because they no longer have the means nor the skills nor the energy required to do it anymore... which is how it was when I cared from my MIL's mother... mind you... she didn't care for her own mother. Hubbie and I did until I could stay up 24/7 on end... we had her evaluated and the state took over. Being 'viable' was never the issue... though I will admit, on the days when this second-time caregiver is burnt out and going through her own emo crash... getting rid of the elderly to a nursing home sounds pretty good... A nursing home isn't equal to euthanasia for the old because they are not found viable.

Let's not attack one another.

Animals are NOT people. RUKiddinME is taking care of a dog she did not choose. The dog has epilepsy and vomits all the time. The dog is pretty near the end. Taking care of MIL is not easy and won't get easier. RU is trying to get advice on what's best for MIL.

I love cats, but I would never adopt a cat in that condition. I think someone who would is a little bit nuts. In a nice way, but still nuts.

Is the dog now living outside after being used to being an indoor pet? I assume since you are not a pet person, this elderly dog has no outside accommodations. What part of the country are you, because most of the U.S. is going to be abnormally cold tonight?

Unless you're in Hawaii, you need to get in touch with the better part of you. Intentional suffering on a another living creature is not a good thing.