please advise she smells and scratches her head.she is very mean ,however her mind is sharp but no bath/shampoo x one year she is very mean money is no problem,i JUST NEED ADVICE,HELP THANKS,JENNIFER.
You call yourself "surpassed cortex"? If you know words that big, then you should be able to figure out that your Mother needs to see a psychiatrist. And if you are asking for the first time after one year of being subjected to the filth, then you might have a problem, too. Ridiculous! I find it hard to believe this is a REAL question from a REAL person--and everyone has been so nice to you. Sharp mind, but mean? Plenty of money? I don't buy it. Sorry if this offends the rest of you who answered. And I'm having a good day!
One year! That is extreme. Does she keep her surroundings clean? I thought I was bad for only bathing my mom once a week! You have got to bribe her into taking a shower/bath...or maybe take her to the beach or a pool to at least get rinsed off! Perhaps if she has to go somewhere special, she will consider cleaning herself....church, a party, a movie...somewhere? What are her interests? A social worker showing up at her door might make an impression on the importance of personal hygiene...they might scare her into taking a shower! Good luck!
surpassed.....sorry to have to play the Big Meanie here......but since mom hasn't had a bath for a year, it's a pretty safe bet that cajoling, bribing, threatening or any number of things are just not going to work. From experience, put on some old clothes, roll up your sleeves, put mom in the tub or shower and get the job done. Otherwise, better get used to the smell and the scratching. Once you get past that nasty chore, I guarantee you won't have the same problems anymore. Bathing will become easier. The elderly become very hydrophobic and it's just something that has to be overcome. I had to do the above with my mil, now I bathe her every Wed and Sat.....I make it as comfortable and warm as possible...to the point of overheating myself......but she now knows that's the bathing routine and it goes smoothly. Good luck!
I would try there is shampoo that does not require water or rinsing you just put it in and srub it into sudds and repeat as often to get it clean then just towel dry. That is what I use on my father. I also use no rinse cleanser which just put some in warm water and wipe clean and does not require rinse off which is really nice. Both product are very useful. My father also put up a fight when I want to bath him he gets physical I just have to lay down the law and give him one anyway. Good Luck hope this helps.
Hi, did your Mom use to go to a beauty shop if so adviser her that she has an appointment, Advise the shop about changes with Mom Maybe make a day of it say you have an reservation for lunch and take out nice outfit and say Mom I really would like to do this with you. Say it is take your Mom to Lunch Day anything to incourage bath(Mom may be afraid of falling in Tub or not being able to get out. Get a shower chair you can have her sit down and shower her without feeling like she will fall. Have the Doctor talk to her about hygiene. Does she live with you or alone? Good luck sometime I feel like we have to be the adult and they are childlike and have to trick into eating veggies if you know what I mean. God Bless
My mom also will not wash her hair. (she will at least step in the shower and rinse off though) when her hair gets really bad, we take a trip to my daughter's salon and have it washed there and then I take her out to lunch so it is a fun time for her.
Try using a "No Rinse Shampoo Cap" available at Walgreens or on line. It costs about $4.00 . It is a shower cap and it containes both a lathering shampoo and a soft conditioner within the cap. No need to rinse. Put on the cap, massage her head as if washing her hair t and once you are done, take the cap off and throw it away. No need to rinse Hope this help
If she can do most of the washing on her own (minus her hair it's best if you wash that for her as I've learn on our end)... maybe try out our method...
1. We have a set bath day once a week ("Mom's Spa Day") 2. I draw her a bubble bath - put her bath chair in covered with a towel for comfort 3. Bring her into the bathroom and supervise her getting in, (temperature is always a problem she won't give warmth a chance so it has to be tepid and then warmed up as we go) 4. I do her hair first, she leans over her knees with a hand towel covering her face and ears (sensitive to water in the ear). - I use a medium size tupperware bowl filled up from the sink several times to rinse out, shampoo, repeat. 5. After the shampooing is done I hand her a soapy washcloth and let her do most of her own washing, I'll get her back and sometimes she requests me to wash her bum, not my fav but okay maybe someone will have to do that for me someday, and then we do the rinse round. 6. When she's out this is my chance to check her toenails and look over her body for any cuts, scrapes or bruises (she injures herself periodically but isn't able to tell us or remember it happening so we have to keep a look out, she'll say that she's had a bruise or bump for 'three years' that was never there before) 6. She dries mostly in the tub and then again when she's out I hand her each piece of clothing in order and powder, deodorant etc... I set her hair in rollers when dressed.
She always feels 'really' good after this is done. We have dinner up here at our house instead of down at hers (our in law unit on our property) so that's a treat too. We try to get her to watch wheel of fortune with us after dinner but her dementia won't let her be away from her dog any longer than is necessary but, she's clean :)
Good luck, I guess the mystery is why she doesn't want to bathe, if she's unable to do it alone and is too embarrassed to have you do it or help her with it, set her up with a sponge bath station and take her to the hair salon for just a wash and set if you can. (maybe have to do that every month if she stays truly reluctant to wash her hair).
oh my goodness i have never heard of a person not washing their hair for a yr maybe a week but not a yr i agree maybe you should call in a hm health agency to see if they can be at service that is not healthy for someone not to bath or wash their hair
Oh, Jennifer...I feel for you...but, Mama has GOT to get bathed and shampooed!!! Not sure if you have anyone to help you get her there; but, when I was caring for my Granny (who had dementia) she would refuse, but I would bargain with her...whatever her favorite thing to do or eat or drink, she just surely could NOT have it or do it until we got in the shower. I would put my bathing suit on and sit her in the shower; a hand held showerhead in hand, I'd make fun out of it AND I was doing it with her (this was 20 yrs. ago and I NEVER thought I'd be bathing my Grandmother, washing all her "stuff"--she was SO vain AND modest before the dementia!)...so, there's got to be some way for you to coerce her, even if you have to call someone in to help you, like careshare says,--someone who is experienced in dealing with difficult patients. It's just GOT TO HAPPEN! Good luck!!!
Jennifer, Does she listen to doctors? Can you take her to her family doctor (but call the doc ahead and tell him the problem). The doctor can then tell her that she has a skin condition from not bathing etc. Then bring a home health aide in, one experienced with difficult mean patients and get them to give her a bath. My uncle didn't have a bath for 13 days and I thought that was bad. A year! You shouldn't have to smell that. Plus, she can't be comfortable with all that itching.
Jennifer, Is she physically able to get into a tub? Shower? Maybe you could bribe her with the promise of a trip to town or something else she wants. (to be done after the bath) Is dementia a factor? Depression? Does she live on her own?There are possibly other factors involved here. Can you give more details? Hugs, Diana
Jennifer, Maybe if you called in a home health aide, and just said it was a routine check up they could insist on giving her bath, I don't know, probably won't work but..
Also, you say her mind is sharp but if she has just stopped caring for herself there actually might be something else going on. Maybe a Doctor's appt is called for, and stay with her when she see's the Doc so that you can voice all your concerns also. (the head scratching could be ceoliac desease or just dermatitus from not bathing).
I find it hard to believe this is a REAL question from a REAL person--and everyone has been so nice to you. Sharp mind, but mean? Plenty of money? I don't buy it. Sorry if this offends the rest of you who answered. And I'm having a good day!
Jam
1. We have a set bath day once a week ("Mom's Spa Day")
2. I draw her a bubble bath - put her bath chair in covered with a towel for comfort
3. Bring her into the bathroom and supervise her getting in, (temperature is always a problem she won't give warmth a chance so it has to be tepid and then warmed up as we go)
4. I do her hair first, she leans over her knees with a hand towel covering her face and ears (sensitive to water in the ear). - I use a medium size tupperware bowl filled up from the sink several times to rinse out, shampoo, repeat.
5. After the shampooing is done I hand her a soapy washcloth and let her do most of her own washing, I'll get her back and sometimes she requests me to wash her bum, not my fav but okay maybe someone will have to do that for me someday, and then we do the rinse round.
6. When she's out this is my chance to check her toenails and look over her body for any cuts, scrapes or bruises (she injures herself periodically but isn't able to tell us or remember it happening so we have to keep a look out, she'll say that she's had a bruise or bump for 'three years' that was never there before)
6. She dries mostly in the tub and then again when she's out I hand her each piece of clothing in order and powder, deodorant etc... I set her hair in rollers when dressed.
She always feels 'really' good after this is done. We have dinner up here at our house instead of down at hers (our in law unit on our property) so that's a treat too. We try to get her to watch wheel of fortune with us after dinner but her dementia won't let her be away from her dog any longer than is necessary but, she's clean :)
Good luck, I guess the mystery is why she doesn't want to bathe, if she's unable to do it alone and is too embarrassed to have you do it or help her with it, set her up with a sponge bath station and take her to the hair salon for just a wash and set if you can. (maybe have to do that every month if she stays truly reluctant to wash her hair).
Also, you say her mind is sharp but if she has just stopped caring for herself there actually might be something else going on. Maybe a Doctor's appt is called for, and stay with her when she see's the Doc so that you can voice all your concerns also. (the head scratching could be ceoliac desease or just dermatitus from not bathing).
Good luck!