please advise she smells and scratches her head.she is very mean ,however her mind is sharp but no bath/shampoo x one year she is very mean money is no problem,i JUST NEED ADVICE,HELP THANKS,JENNIFER.
It is never okay to shame or yell at another caregiver. Jennifer was asking for help and there is probably more to her story that we don't know about. We as caregivers and former caregivers need to know that others need compassion, help, maybe training and knowledge and a kind word.
I was also startled to see the posts critical of Jennifer, and just want to add that no matter how smart you are, when its your own parents, you just don't see it at first, because your heart does not WANT to see it. My cousin, who is brilliant enough to be fluent in several languages, work on a doctorate in theology, and translate Bible passages form Hebrew did not realize that my aunt (her mom) was losing her judgment, had become a full-fledged hoarder and completely ruined both of their finances, until after she passed on and we started to clean... no, it wasn't "just a little cluttered"...
Jennifer I get it! My mom is the same way she will do anything to get out of bathing. It"s worse than trying to get a 2 year old to the bath. She keep complaining of itching and kept putting cream on to stop the itch. Right! Her skin couldn"t breathe get a home health nurse from the county health dept. or a home health agency in there, they can assest the situtation and tell her that she must take care of herself including bathing, eating, meds, house cleaning etc. or she will not be able to stay in her home. That"s what they told my mom, she still fused and cussed, but at least I was able to get her bathed at least twice a week and she stopped itching Does she keep her house clean or cook for herself? Start thinking acout other area that might be tale-tale signs that mom maybe having other issues like dementia or depression and see if you can get her to the doctor. Good Luck.
Maybe she is cold in the shower, so make the bath warm for her. Maybe it is a good idea to discuss with her MD of being resistive. Maybe if you don't tell her just take her in the shower and tell her step by step what are doing, sing for her, put some warm water on her legs and slowly move up. Or just use no rinse shampoo and body wash. If she will be resistive nobody will want to work with her. They have the rights to say NO.
I believe I went through all the posts, but I don't recall the product that Home Health from Hospice uses on my mom which is a waterless shampoo, perhaps you can try that.
Dayle from RI I would just tell your mom that not taken a bath,shower or washing her hair for a year that she will get a lot of infections that would be hard to cure. I have the same oroblem with my mom but I compromise with her and I tell her if she'll take her bath when she comes out I'll set her hair and she would let me do anything I wanted to do so that she would smell good and she'll agree with me. The only thing she says to me after all is done I feel good and thank You and I loveyou she'hug me and kiss me on my cheek. Also you can tell your mom that if she would let you give her a bath or shower and was her hair lightly you'll take her tlo the hair dresser and have her hair styled,so that she would feel a whole lot better. I also sounds likr she just wants to give up my mom is 86 years old.
What is it with old people and bathing ??? I really understand what you're going through with your mother. When mine moved in, i put a new bar of Dial soap in her bathroom. After 5 months the word "Dial" was still clear and was never wet. So I removed it. She tells me that she uses pre-moistened towelettes to bathe with. I guess if it works for her and she doesn't have BO its okay for now. Maybe this will work for your situation.
I just tell my mom it's time to take her shower and I use liquid soap like the dial or something else that she likes and it has moisturizer in it so that her skin will be soft. She has a shower 2 times a week and at that time I wash her hair with tee tree shampoo and conditioner. She doesn't like it but she is not going out of the house smelling especially when she attends Adult day care while I work I know that I would be afened if she smells like it some peopledo I try my best to take care of her. I don't want anyone to think that I'm not caring for her. That would be a form of abuse. Dayle from R.I.
Jennifer, the only way our mother will bathe and let us wash her hair is if we give her a drug for agitation. I hate doing it but she is like a lamb on the drug. Nothing else worked for us until this. We take her to a hairdresser to have her hair washed and set about once a month.
lovbob