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Right now my funds were cut off from unemployment. I am trying to find a job after finishing medical transcription school without much luck. Although I love my parents very much and wouldn't hurt them for anything in the world, I can't afford personal grooming products (hair color, hair cut, etc), my meds or doctor's appts. My car is not running so can't go anywhere and am pretty much stuck in the house every day. Also, the neighbors are so damn nosey and with they would look in the mirror because we need no more drama here. No reason to get too excited.

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Sometimes it seems that life is a real bitch. Answers are lacking while problems abound. Are you in contact with the school where you learned a job skill? Thay may have an employment section. Being broke is tough. Have you checked your local welfare department. Food stamps are available. While work at home advertisements are often just a scam, you might find work at home in your field. Even though you were sut off from unemployment benefits the department is still available to you for job openings. Check out CraigsList. You might even find work through commercial employment companies, sometimes employers will even pay the fees that are charged. For grooming, there is a group that will help you. There may be a group in your town. One such group is named "Women in Need". Please don't give up.
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Planeman has some excellent advice. I second it.
Good luck. This is really a tough place to be. Please let us know how things are going.
Carol
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I can relate to you very well i took care of my mom for 2 years i was very burned i didnt get any breaks other than to get out take walks for about 10 mins mahybe 15 mins no-one wouls help me last year around this time i had to put my mother in the Hospital her meds stoped ishe needed 24 hr care she was at the last stages alz dementia. i wwent to support groups that helped me out. December 10 my mom died at 91 yrs old. i'm still burned out from every thing i miss her so,uch. after she went to the hospital nursing home for 3 weeks i went to support groups. i couldnt get any help at all.home health care she had a social worker who did nothing for her. she was from mediciad who checked in her 3 months. iknow what your going through p[lease go to a group in your area dont wait like I did. i tried to get my mom in day care program she wouldnt go . thats another possibilty for you to get your mom to a day care for socialization to meet other people of course to give you a break. i wish you the best take care of yourself..
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First of all I am so sorry for what you are going through there is a great thread here call grossed out my mother is using a comb-------it was started a year ago last Feb and has 20 thousand plus post the caregivers and former caregivers are great they are there themselves or have been you will get lots of love and support there -there are so many in your position-I really urge to get involved with us.
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Thank you for your post, Austin. Am trying to get up and put a little make up on to get to feeling a little more like myself instead of a grumpy old biddy going through the "change of life" at an early age. Think caregiving and stress may have brought that on, but don't every want to be ungrateful. Finally found someone who was very friendly and might be of some help at one of our local carelines. She was very nice and helpful, which is very nice for a change. Maybe it will be eventually be possible to get a little bit of funds to help my folks and me out. Well, guess better go pull my hair back (instead of out lol) to avoid or lower a warm flash and get dinner ready. Also trying to improve my typing skills so that I can get a job relating to caregiving, my MT training and the healthcare industry, but might be kinda difficult this time of year with the holidays coming up. guess it is better to look at it in a more positive light and be grateful my folks are still around and that it not all about money.
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Boy, I really know how you feel about being burned out and getting no breaks. That just kills you. I still think most days that I just can't keep going, at least some part of the day, but I can tell you I feel so much better just looking on this site and feeling like I can talk to someone or write my thoughts any time I want. This is a wonderful site, just for us, not full of confusing bs but just us, being able to talk. Keep coming back and talk to us. It does help with the burnout.
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PLANE:

That's what I call tips for self-sufficiency.
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I hate to say that I kinda feel like I am being taken for granted as I have to beg for a few dollars and try to talk to my folk they "act" like they can't hear me. I only leave the house once every several months and it's mostly for doctor's appointments. These nosey unwanted cling ons are clueless. It gets old and very discouraging being treated this way. My Christmas pretty much sucked with a bad tooth being pulled. This is getting pretty damn frustrating. Thanks
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It's pretty sad that you can't even get a few dollars after changing colostomy bags, cleaning, cooking, emptying buckets of urine and endless loads of laundry (and bullshit). Thanks for letting me vent. Excuse my french, but am getting at the end of my rope and avoid going nuts by all means.
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MY MOM'S MIDDLE NAME IS "COMPLAIN." SHE IS ABOUT THE MOST NEGATIVE PERSON IN THE WORLD. I HAVE SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES MYSELF, BUT I KEEP GOING FOR HER. SHE THINKS NO ONE'S PAIN IS GREATER OR NEVER WILL BE GREATER THAN HERS. I HAVE TO LEAVE NOTES TO TELL HER I'M TAKING A NAP AND DO NOT DISTURB ME. IF I GO OUT THE DOOR, SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE I'M GOING AND FOR WHAT. I AM 53 YEARS OLD AND ENVY PEOPLE THAT CAN JUST LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH THEIR MOTHER.

ALSO, THE ENDLESS DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS ARE TOO MUCH. THE ONLY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE IS TO TAKE HER TO THE APPOINTMENT OR PICK UP PRESCRIPTIONS AT WALGREENS. I MAKE UP ALL HER MEDICINES, ETC. NOT MUCH HELP FROM A SIBLING WHO LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR.
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My husband was addicted to doc visits on the way home from an appointment he would be planning the next one to the same doc because he had not asked all his questions when he was there -I finally just cut back when I found out we had gone to over 100 doc visits in 9 months some were 6 in one week and at times 3 in one day-now after the fact I let him get away with too much nonsense for years I did get a little smarter over the years and before he died he did get to see a stronger me.
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I dont know where you live, but I know in some states there is compensation for caregivers who take care of family in the home. You would have to get in contact with a county social worker though. I can relate to how you feel, I work in the home care field, and its not easy work, and I live at home too...and know how difficult is it to deal with your parents basically 24-7. Things will get better eventually. Just keep looking for jobs, craigslist, care is also a good website! Hope things get better for you! :)
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I lost my job in 2010 and the unemployment benefits have long run out. I kind of gave up looking after my dad moved in a year ago. You can try the job boards at the local college, your county should have a job and career center. The information can be accessed at home. Honestly, I think these days, it's who you know. If you have a connection through your doctor's office or even through your parents doctors, check it out. An employment agency might be helpful too. I can get out, but very rarely by myself as my dad wants to go everytime the car goes. He will sit in the car as he is not mobile and then complain because I took too long or has to know what I was looking at. I don't even enjoy shopping anymore, it sucks. If I I go by myself, I get a smart aleck "well, go have fun" remark and then I feel guilty. After a year of getting his health issues under control, there are no more forseeable doctor appointments, and that makes him upset. Believe me, I understand your position! Please try to take care of YOU first and foremost! I know there are organizations that help you out with grooming needs, you deserve a "girls day." If you can get your parents to go to an adult day care, even for a few hours a week, go for it! My dad is on week four, only goes 3x a week for 4 hours each time. He doesn't like it ( just all these old people that sleep and do puzzles,) and thinks I am making him do it, like everything else that affects him. He is 85! My dad is on the martyr boat, I jumped ship a long time ago. Please take care of yourself, be brave! We are all rooting for you!!
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One last thing, check with your county and see if IHSS (In Home Support Service funds are available to you.) You can be paid by the county to care for your parents. I am in California, and found out the "client" has to be on Medical in order for you to get paid. So, I lost out on that one, dad is Medicare with a supplemental. Your county should also have an agency directed towards elder care that can help you. Here it is called Area Agency on Aging.
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I've tried countless times to get pay for taking care of my mother but every agency I have went to has told me that sense I am power of attorney it would be a conflict of interest. I don't get it I have four degrees been offered jobs and have turned them down so I can stay home and take care of mom. Why can't I get paid for taking care of her it is a hard and endless job mentally and physically. Don't get me wrong I love my mother and I will never put her in a nursing home but I am a grown woman and I shouldn't have to ask her for money. It's a little down grading.
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Ruth does your Mom have assets -you are POA so you could use her money for her care-if she has no assets could you apply for Medicaid -that is what it is for -a this point maybe it is time to place her so you can work-which is important because you need to think about your old age and you will need SS someday for yourself-many elders think they need to hang on to their money so they can leave it to their children and do not consider how hard it is for their children to give up heir lives to care for them-look into taking CNA classes so you can get paid for taking care of her-think about placement it may be the best over all.
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195Austin thank you for your input. But my mother has assets- that's one of the problems and I have even looked into her insurance that she has and they won't pay for me to do home health care for her. One of my degree's is nursing so I am well qualified to take care of her. I am slowly getting depressed. RuthAM
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Nosy neighbors could be a resource.You'd be surprised how many people are just waiting for an opportunity to "help" because it makes "them" feel good.Take advantage of the situation. Get to know them.You might even learn to like them!
Let them know you're stuck because your car isn't working.They may offer you a ride to wherever you need to go.They may offer you an hour's sitting with your mom so you get out.
Med's and Doc Appt:
Call your state rep's office. Find out about the insurance offered to those will low income.
Your meds and Doc appts. shouldn't be a problem as most state insurances ( low or no cost) will pay for them.Some drug companies will furnish you needed drugs for free if you qualify.
Need money until you find a job?
Put an add in a free paper offering to decipher "Medicalize" for elder's and other's who wonder what the doc is trying to tell them.
Can you take in a vacationer's pet for a week?
Holidays pay very well and cash.Put up a flyer in the vet's office or tell neighbor you do that sort of thing and they pass the word.
Think out of the box.
Hair dye? The newest trend in hair and make-up is natural.
No money for haircut? Put it up \; it's a classic look and never goes out of style.I looked it up on youtube and learned to cut my own hair.Now I cut everyone's hair!
BTW: youtube video's available on diagnosing and fixing your own car with junk parts.
Good luck!
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it has put me to the point of depression and anxiety , i want out and have no-where to go , i want to put my stuff in storage and leave , i can't handle the caregiver bulls%&t any more , i'm to the end of my rope , going on 7 years of the crap , now , i got health problems and i get no help ! Dear God : please show me a road out of here and deliver me from this dreadful life of everyday pain and suffering at the hands of this demon witch ! i am 54 yrs old and she is 52,i want out !!!! even if i have to live on the streets ! its that bad ! ect... ect....ect .....
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Ceasna182, you are both a little young for general age related decline. Are there specific health issues that you are dealing with? Are you caring for a spouse or relative or other? Are there family members who could relieve you for a bit? You haven't really asked a question, just made a statement.

I'm sorry that you feel this way. Talk to your doctor regarding the demon witch and see if there is a medication that can help with the personality issues.

Definitely look into depression meds for yourself. There are some wonderful aids out there that can help pull you out of that black hole.

Caregivers who are at the ends of their rope do need help before things go south. Let the doctors know and see if they have any ideas.
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well , for one , doctors don't see people with no Money , and even if so , depression meds or high dollar , and emergency room is your only hope ! , which i was treated for depression/anxiety and given a prescription that cost over 200 dollars , sorry you late ! , been there - done that ! and east sounds better ! js
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There are alternatives to the high dollar drugs. I do understand that doctors will sometimes prescribe them, but if you let him/her know that there is a funding issue, they will generally go with something less expensive.

Also I feel that if you have the $$ to put stuff in storage, you have the money to pay out a doctor bill instead. Some people don't really want help, they are so far gone that they don't think there is any. Most counties have medical help for the indigent. I did a Google search for my county and surprise! Found out that there is a lot of services for the indigent and that they will pay for doctor visits and 3 prescriptions/month if you qualify for their assistance.

Good luck.
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no , no , no ,, wrong again ! you just shoot out a wild anwser thinking you know , when you don't ,, i did not say i could pay for a rental storage ! , i said store my stuff , idont have the money for a rental storage , and their a clinic here , but it cost so much up front , and again , look up the price for cymbalta , generic is 50+ dollars ....
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Patient Assistance Programs for Cymbalta

Patient assistance programs (PAPs) are usually sponsored by pharmaceutical companies and provide free or discounted medicines to low income or uninsured and under-insured people who meet specific guidelines. Eligibility requirements vary for each program.

Provider: Lilly Cares Patient Assistance Program

Elligibility requirements:
1.Must have no prescription coverage
2.At or below 300% of FPL
3.Must be under 65 years of age

Applicable drugs:
◾Cymbalta (duloxetine) Capsule; Delayed Release

More information please phone: 800-545-6962
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ok , i will be on this , it said i am good ,,,now , i need a doc. ! :To follow up results :......
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I agree with txcamper that a visit to the doctor for each of you is in order. I'm assuming from the ages you mention that this is spousal caregiving. Both of you may do better with medical care or maybe you'll have to go your separate ways. This is no way to live for either one of you. But often, medication and therapy can help make things tolerable so please try this first.

Let us know how you are coping,
Carol
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With no insurance , or medicaid , and NO-Money , we are screwed ! no doctor will see me , i am in deep need of surgery now !
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Ceasna, that is one of the reasons Obamacare [Affordable Care Act] was put into law, to give people a chance to obtain health insurance.... if you have very little money, you can find health insurance with the Federal/State government covering what you cannot pay. Go to healthcare . gov and start researching.
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nobama care ! no thank you ! i don't meet the requirements , thank God ! lol,,,
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Cessna, I think you have more resources within you than you recognize.

Anyone who can build a Cessna from a pile of balsa wood is someone who is very creative and determined. Let those very positive traits be your guide, think positively and you might find that solutions others are suggesting are more realistic than you think.
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