Have you ever felt so tired you just want to sleep all of the time?

6 animals in addition to special needs child and Parkinson's mother????
First get those animals out of the home. Expensive and time consuming. Call the ASPCA and get those pets a new home.
Then possibly you can get a decent caretaker for your mom while you continue to care for your son.
I wanted to fall asleep just reading your post it made me so exhausted. You are trying to do the impossible.
Get the animals out of the home first off. Is their welfare Mir important than yours and your child's???
They can easily be relocated. That is far too much if a burden for you, unless you send your mother to a nursing home, in which case the animals might be doable with your son -maybe. How many others besides yourself do you think you can care for???!
You are not a machine. Sounds like you have WAY too much on your plate.
You first, then your son.
Get rid of the pets or your mom. That is much too much for even a very going person getting a good salary. Don't kid yourself. You do not have sleep apnea. Your are exhausted from too much responsibility and lack of rest.
Take care if yourself and your child!
.

Dottie, I hear you. I couldn't imagine having to go out in the world and work a job and then come home to caregiving. The broken up sleep is a killer.

Kidnumber2, I will never get rid of the pets! My mother and son would be devastated. As would I. Yes, they are a lot of work, but i will not just re-home pets we have had for ten and fifteen years because life got more complicated! Their welfare is important to all of the humans in this house. I didn't take the pets in because it was a convenient time in my life to do so. When I took in these pets over the years I accepted responsibility for them and give them a good quality of life. That's how we are in my family. Pets aren't just animals. They are part of the family. So, no, getting rid of pets is not an option.

And I am not kidding myself. I know my fatigue is from being too busy. But I just have to work on how to make it more doable. Implement solutions that will take some of the responsibility of me. Getting a caregiver in five hours a day will be a good start.

Life is hard for a lot of people. We do the best we can with what we've got

Well, certainly getting someone in the house to help is a smart idea. Perhaps you can get someone to help with the pets as well. I have a retired female friend who spends every day volunteering to help care for other people's pets.
You are tired all the time because you have too much on your plate and not enough help.
You are doing the right thing by getting help.
There was a time in life I put all my needs aside to take care of others. I realized they would be fine and I would be destitute or dead.
It seems evident that you are tired because you are spread too thin.
Will your son, mother and pets be more well off if you end up in the hospital?
Take care of yourself and good luck.

ChrisInOregon,
Thanks for your question. Reading the replies have provided healing for me in a way. I used to feel quilty (sort of) because I was sleeping so much. Any extra time I can find I dash to my bed and sleep.
I care for my 78yo mother who has dementia and end stage kidney failure. God has been good to her; healing her of diabetes, high cholesterol and weight gain. Now the stubborn illness seems to be high blood pressure and 10% kidney functionality.
For sanity, I turned her bedroom into her living quarters. I serve her meals there, she watches DVDs (cancelled cable tv because commercials mostly of food she can't have), enjoys cds, hospital bed, bathroom, pictures of family, stationary bike (which she hardly will use) basically everything she could need or want. Because of dementia, i have to block the hallway making it difficult for her to leave the room with her walker. She has gone outside alone and fallen on sidewalk, scraps but nothing broken thank God! She has tried to leave 1am saying she is going home. I came to realize it is part of the illness.
To bring happiness to me while i care for her 24/7, I acquired 7 parakeets and 53 fish. Lol, the birds stay in the living room and are not caged. The fish(48) in a 55 gallon aquarium and 5 in a 10 gal tank. It is extra work, but it gives me an out. It helps me to be mo re patient and tolerant as a caregiver. I have 9 siblings, yet not one care to be involved in her care. I have always wanted to be an only child. Being a caregiver turned that into reality.

I think it's easy to underestimate the benefit companion/pet animals can bring. Yes, it's additional work, and yes it can complicate hygiene, but when these creatures have been your constant companions for some time life without them is pretty bleak.

hannahhonee73 wrote: "I'm not technically an agency employee as far as their protocol but I know that they can't lift 165 lbs without a hoyer and that's a 2 person job which negates the help." I'm still wondering about this. If you still have to help with this, then how is help going to allow you to have more sleep?

I don't see this whole scenario going on indefinitely, actually. Too much stress, too little sleep.

Any assistance is a welcomed break from the routine. If he has an aide 5 hours a day, he can allow that person to tend to the needs of the mother. Hopefully she will not need to potty during that time. It may be time to start Depends and bed mats for those times she isn't able to be transferred safely.

Considering your very full plate, I would think that you might want to set some priorities. And I would think the work of the pets would be one that would have to be below that of the humans. Pets are great, but even super heroes can only do so much. I think that caregivers often do not recognize their limitations. Conditions change, situations change, things are not always perfect. Making adjustments to accommodate YOUR needs is just as acceptable as making accommodations for your son and your mom's needs. I would give myself permission to do it.

If you are perfectly healthy, as your doctor confirms, I would be curious as to why you are always sleepy and tired all the time. I suppose that it may mean that you are tired and not getting enough sleep. Eventually, that will catch up with you. Of course, if the demands continue that overextend you, it's up to you.

Do you have a backup plan for the home if you were to become ill and be hospitalized? If the ones who would help then, could help now, perhaps you could get some relief.

Advising her to get rid of the pets is cruel. She lives in a rural area so she likely has property for them, loves them and she said some are 10-15 years old which means that they are less likely to get adopted anyway. If she has property and a fence, the animals could actually be the least stressful of her situations. I can sleep during the day if I leave the back door unlocked bc my dog knows how to open and close it, he can do his business and run around until I get up and walk him.

My babies - two King Charles Spanials - give me such comfort and love sometimes I think I depend on them more than they do me! In fact, in three weeks we are bringing a new KCS puppy into our lives. I am both dreading and loving all the things that come with puppyhood and focusing on all the work and joys involved will be a welcome diversion to worrying about my mother.

ChrisinOregon: Have a checkup -- at least some blood tests. I know that stress is exhausting, but underlying it, you could be anemic, or be hypothyroid, or have sleep apnea. I know I felt tired ALL the time when I was hypo, and dozed off at the most inopportune moments (while at the theatre watching a live show that was hilarious and I really enjoyed? Come ON!). Also, stress weakens the immune system. So please, go to the doctor.

The commentator said they were tired all the time. Advising them to find another home for the pets was a suggestion to help them be able to get more sleep, not an act of cruelty. The commentator mentioned the additional 6 pets coming along with the mother. So it sounded like it was MORE work.
Honestly, this person needs to take stock of the situation. Go visit an M.D.
I have a young friend. she is beautiful, educated, caring and has an excellent job and nice home. She took care of Mom, Dad, son and brother (no pets). She has many siblings and cousins. None of them pitched in until at age 42 she had a mild stroke. She ended up hospitalized and took a leave of absence from her job. Lucky for her the job was still there when she recovered.
She told me "I took the S off my chest. I am not superwoman".
Sadly Dad has since passed away, but mother is now taking better care of herself and letting her daughter live in peace. The girl almost dropped dead taking care of everyone else.
See what I am driving at? Why is the poster claiming they are so tired?
It seems obvious they have taken more responsibility than their body can handle.

Thanks for your responses. Let me make a couple of things clear. First, as I said before, i see my doctor regularly. Just had my yearly physical and blood work done as I do every year. Everything was normal. And I get my yearly mammograms.

Second, I do not have sleep apnea. What I do have is a mother who wakes me up to use the bedside commode. (The pets do NOT keep me awake.) She is not incontinent. And, Medicaid has assured me that the caregiver can handle the transfer to the commode. She has a hospital bed. If you raise the bed up very high she is almost in a standing position. She helps get her pants down and you help pivot her onto the toilet. You are not doing a dead lift off the bed.

Third, I feel tired when I don't get enough sleep. There is a lot of stress in my day. Fatigue is expected. I don't fall asleep driving or in the shower or doing dishes. I am awake 18-20 hours a day. If i am fortunate and my mom and son fall asleep at the same time, i take a nap. So if i feel really tired some days it's because I AM TIRED.

Fourth. My mother did NOT bring six pets into my house! I already had a small dog and five cats. She has a small dog and a cat. You can continue to debate the pet issue if you like, but it is a non issue to me. I can assure you there is NO hygiene issues with the pets. The cats are indoor cats...they have a large "catio"...a fenced in area with a roof, off of the back door...i leave the back door opened during the day so they can go in and out and lounge around in the sun if they want to, as can the dogs. The dogs also have a fenced in, grassy area, so they can go to the bathroom. The dogs cannot stay outside unattended as we have bears and coyotes that regularly visit. The dog fence is low to the ground. It works for them.

As i said before, we are a family with two legged and four legged members. It actually was cruel to suggest getting rid of pets...especially after i made it clear that they are not the issue and getting rid of them was not going to happen. People here who have four legged family members understand where I am coming from. The cats would LOVE it if i slept more because as soon as I am lying down two or three of them make themselves comfortable on me. And my little, thirteen year old dog is a constant companion. She makes me smile and is calming to me.

I am not here to debate the pet issue. Or for negativity. I came here for support and to hear from others who feel tired from caregiving. Plain and simple.

Lastly, Chris is short for Christine. Just wanted to clear up the gender issue if the mention of mammograms didn't do it.

Again, thanks for your responses. .

Hey there Chris - I'm guessing you're new here or I would have remembered you and our crazy, similar circumstances. I've been here since last October - hard to believe that's almost a year! Anyhoo - the thing with an anonymous, public forum is your gonna get a whole range of replies. Some replies will be helpful - others, not so much. But mostly the replies and the people here are well intentioned. So pick through the replies, take what is useful and let the rest go. No point in letting stuff get to you and add more stress, right?

I hear you Rainmom. I am new here. I've browsed for awhile, posted one other question before this. I don't usually post things online. Don't do Facebook or Twitter or whatever else is out there. And, I'm probably more sensitive right now because of my situation. I'll take things with a grain of salt.

Your four footed "babies" can sometimes be your only link to sanity! My cats and dogs are family members. I took them in at different times (all 4 cats were abandoned). I wouldn't throw my husband out, or my mom out and I wouldn't throw my animals out either. Damn, sometimes they are the only thing that keeps me sane and calm me down during this hectic life. They love me unconditionally. That's how I love them too.

ChrisinOregon, I also feel tired and grumpy much, if not most of the time. Worries and responsibilities sap you of energy. There is physical, mental and emotional fatigue, and I have added a new one - radiation/electronic fatigue which does something really strange to my body. I can fall asleep on the computer/TV, but have a hard time disciplining myself to quit and get the rest I need. I guess that's what they call addiction. However, I crave the quiet time when mom is in bed and the noises of the day are (at least somewhat) subdued.

Do you have any trouble with motor functioning? I find that my motor learning disability makes me extra tired trying to concentrate and coordinate movements so motor tasks take longer. The brain uses more sugar than the rest of the organs in the body. Do you find you crave simple carbohydrates - bars, chips, bread, pies, candy? If you are alert for the sounds of your mother or son, it's hard to relax enough to go into a restful sleep. I always have one ear out to mom and have to close the window frequently because there is someone revving their engine, racing through the streets and that city hum that doesn't stop. Then I can't sleep because it's airless and too hot. Anger saps you of a lot of energy, too, as well as guilt. So yes, caring for your son and mother is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. Welcome to the club!

Yep, I have cats and two dogs now that mon is with me and they do keep me sane. And they all watch over mom.I agree nap when you can!

Kidnumber2, I'm sorry. I accidentally reported your post.