My husband's parents live with us, and have for 13 years. They don't contribute financially to the household. MIL is 73, and has been a quadriplegic since 86. She is beginning to suffer from dementia. My FIL is 79, has had colon cancer, has a colostomy bag and suffered a stroke 2 yrs. ago. I am full time caregiver to my momma, and she receives hospice care due to severe dementia. My momma is an angel with attitude and gratitude, but I must admit, I do get tired. My in-laws everyday needs are becoming more than I can give. My sister in law was supposed to take her parents at the the first of the year, but then decided she couldn't. There are a total of 8 kids, but none contribute anything towards their care, or giving my husband and I a break, they barely even visit them. I am becoming bitter and angry at the other family members. It all falls on our shoulders. I am dealing with the day in and day out of the silly crazy outbursts from my mil..and I have had to pick up my fil in the yard when he fell and couldn't get up. My husband works late most days, so he deals with very little of this. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I have had a panic attack, and I find myself hiding in my room, after I have fulfilled my mom's care. Talking about this with my husband is moot..talking with the family is moot..any tips to deal with this? I can't go anywhere for extended length of time, as I am an only child, and have no one to care for my mom.
Why would they do this to you? If something can't be done by another child then it is time for Assisted Living or alternative living. Your husband must be taking you for granted.
When I married my husband he let me know that in-laws are in-laws. They are not included in any family matters, any financial information, nothing. So many, many years later when his mother became ill, of course, one of his sisters asked me to quit my job and come down (a two hour drive) and help. They needed help. Now these people had ample money to hire a caregiver. But they were cheap and would rather have their daughter in laws, who were never included in family issues, help with the dirty work. I said, NO. And I never regretted it.
They are taking advantage of you. Make them stop.
Take a stand and get some help. I'd vote for getting MIL and FIL out of your home and into a facility. It sounds like your dear momma may be leaving this world before long - I'm sorry about that, she sounds like a wonderful woman. Get your husband to step up to the plate to accept his responsibility to take care of HIS parents. Good luck and keep us posted...
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