Driving - Dr. says no more and she's furious about it. Any ideas?

Help her figure out other means of transportation. Is there a senior bus or a medical van? What do taxis cost in your area? If you sell the car and stop insurance, how many taxi rides would that pay for?

Notify the dmv what the doctor said, if the doctor has not done so. Arrange for her to get an identification card.

Of course she is furious! I'm already furious thinking about it for myself. For my husband giving up driving was absolutely the worst part of dementia. At least he understood why it had to be done and cooperated.

Hide the keys. Remove the car from the property. Disable it. Do whatever it takes. She must not drive!

Be firm but also sympathize. This really is awful for her. You can't fix it, but you can at least acknowledge her feelings.

Poor mother.

Good on the doctor for agreeing to be the Bad Guy. Now she can be angry with him and his conspirators at the DMV, instead of being angry and depressed that her eyesight is failing her.

Assuming she isn't actually contemplating non-compliance..? Then you need only sympathise with her and agree that this is a total pain for her. And as Jeanne says, hunt out alternatives so that at least she doesn't feel as if she's under house arrest.

If she shows signs of mutiny, such as saying "it'll be all right if I only go to places I know/drive in the daytime/do short trips/in an emergency..." then you will want to disable the car. Err on the side of caution.

My mother gave up driving voluntarily in her late 80s. I can only guess that she had a close call of some kind and it scared her into calling it quits. A year later she let me sell her car and she turned in her drivers license for an ID card. Years later, she still speaks wistfully of "jumping in the car" and taking off. Let me tell you, her jumping days are over -- the lady can barely walk.   Clearly, she is wishing to recapture younger, better days in general, not just the ability to drive.

I agree with the others to find alternate sources of transportation. Ask around. I live in a small town that does not have its own taxi service. A hairdresser told me that the senior center sponsors a car service. The center bought a Prius and makes it available to seniors for a dollar a ride. The drivers are volunteers who are "young" seniors with good driving records who are patient with old folks and know how to deal with walkers and wheelchairs. The hairdresser knew about the service because many of her elderly clients show up for their appointments riding shotgun in a Prius!

The Dr can call DMV and have her license revolked. It took NJ DMV 3 months to send out the paperwork for the license sent to them. My suggestion is to sell the car. If she won't agree to that, park it somewhere else.

My Mom did not want to give up her car. Here's what happened that made it so much easier. The neurologist advised he was sending Mom to be evaluated and if the Occupational Therapist determined Mom was OK to drive then the neurologist would be OK. The testing conducted at an independent office was intense. Mom knew she was not doing well on the testing and did not go back for the second day. She was angry for 12 hours, cried a bit but, I think, was relieved. The neurologist also explained to Mom that with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's if she would be involved in an accident she would lose whatever savings she had.

Ditto! My Dad was irrational, my pleas that he might hurt an innocent child were ignored. Finally, when he was in the hospital, we took the car. Gave it to my son who graciously agreed to take him shopping, doctor’s appointments, etc. After a while he liked being chauffeured and developed a real bond with his grandson.

Do whatever it takes! Could you imagine if someone got hurt? Not worth the risk!

I went through this with my best friend. She was loosing sight in one eye and it was so distracting that she would hold one hand over it while driving. I went with her to the eye doctor and despite me asking him twice if he felt she should still be driving, he wouldn't answer. Not only that but her car would break down a lot and her brother would fix the darn thing so she could continue to drive. She finally listened and gave the car to her granddaughter. I think it helped that she has a boyfriend who will take her places and I have told her to just call me if she needs a ride somewhere. (I only live two miles from her). She's in her early 80's and I really understand her feelings about being able to just go when she wants to and not have to plan ahead but at least she's got options. (Scat bus, uber, reg. bus, taxi, and friends). I was also lucky when my mom gave up driving on her own. I agree on what everyone said.

I’d tell her the car “broke” and take it to a mechanic. Then explain it would be too expensive to fix.

We did that and it seemed to help. She was mad for about a month and now is much better and understands.

I just sat my dad down and explained it to him.

First time I barely managed to NOT be the last car in a pileup, he said he was glad he was no longer driving. He admitted to himself that he reflexes weren't as good anymore.

My Dad had several “incidents” with his car before he agreed to sell it.
You cannot sell a car if it is not your. They have to sign the title. If you get guardianship you can, but my Dad knew his rights and he hung onto those car keys like a lifeline.
Once, he was walking around a two lane road at night trying to find a street sign because he was lost in a area he had lived for 60 years. The police picked
him up,called one sister to come and get him, plus to get his car off the road. They did not tell him to stop driving.
Another time he drove to the back of his apartment building where there is no outlet or parking and got stuck in deep mud. The maintenance Guy towed him out. Still he drove.
Then he kept trying to back his car out of his parking space, and after several tries (he was inebriated) a neighbor offered to take him to our family Christmas party.
What finally worked for us: We completely stopped any enabling:no fixing his car, sending money for gas, tires, anything. I was getting counseling at the time and the counselor told me that anything Dad did was not my responsibility. At that time Dad did not have a dx of vascular dementia, and he would not have told us if he did. Every time he was hospitalized for heart problems, they always said he passed the screening for competency and could make his own decisions. The doc in the hospital looked at 4 of us siblings with Dad right there and said, “He has the right to drive, live alone, and choose however he wants to live”
Finally last summer he was hospitalized and dx with a damaged atrial heart valve and they started talking about heart valve transplants.
It was a huge shock to him, and that’s when I talked to him about the car. I asked him how he would feel if he had a heart attack or heart failure while he was driving and his car went up on the sidewalk and hit a young mother walking with her baby in a stroller? And the said, “It that the legacy you want everyone to remember you by? You know that will be in the paper with your name?”
He agreed to sell the car for 300$ -it was a junker. We took it within 5 minutes before he could change his mind-could only get 250$ for it, so added 70$ more to it and told him it was worth more than he thought. He was pretty happy about that. Saved insurance money too.
But it has been the beginning of the end for him. His dementia has gotten much worse over the past 7 months and he is now in a nursing home against his will while we file for guardianship.