Do I take the teddy bear away or continue to let her care for it?

Please let her keep the bear! It is a comfort to her. Think of it as if she was a small child with a “lovey” when s/he feels scared or alone.

SOMETIMES illogical situations need illogical remedies.

Pretend calm concern and put your head on teddy's chest. Tell her it's not dead but instead in a non-lethal coma which is good for neurological repair.

Wrap teddy's head with a short ace bandage and in a whisper tell her that it was a good thing she discovered the situation in time. You could ask her if she thinks a blanket may be helpful.

After awhile, take off the bandage, and let her rewind it, or just take it off when she's not looking and stash it for the next time.

I don't have the exact same experience but depending on the day I've told my husband brief eye-crossing whoppers just to take his worries away.

I hate, hate doing that. It's very uncomfortable, but if it works what the heck. It soothes bad situations and saves time and nerves.

G-d how I miss adult interaction.

I am 70 years old and joy in my life is found in limited amounts. I would let her keep the teddy bear.

Hello. Im 81 and want a stuffed animal when i go to the home.

Keep the bear.

I would give her a couple more teddies and encourage her inter-relationship with them. She might be sad at times but this is how dementia is - expressing emotions will be raw & overwhelming at times because there is no filter on the brain that is 'reasonable' to the carer looking on. To me allowing dementia patients to express their emotions is important - it is a reflection of their brain and the disease which is destroying connections. Just a thought - would she sing to the teddies?

caliraya: Imho, the bear is giving her a sense of comfort. Let her keep the bear as if you were to remove it, her brain would be unable to process it.

Let her keep it. They even make stuffed dogs and cats intended for dementia patients. They move parts of their bodies and purr, etc.

I was visiting with a family and their mother. They had purchased the cat for their mother and she REALLY loved it. She had it wrapped in a blanket. You could tell it bought her much comfort. They did say the batteries died one and she thought the cat was sick and needed to go to the vet.

Please do not take the teddy bear away. That is her comfort. It gives her purpose like a mother taking care of her child. My poor mother passed last April with dementia and she loved her "fake" cat. She thought it was REAL. It was the only thing that would calm her down. We put her "fake" cat in the casket with her because she loved it so much. Please do not take the teddy bear away. Bless you and your mom. I know it's so hard.

DEFINITELY do NOT take the Teddy Bear away.............. I think it is giving her joy. Just let her enjoy it..........................

The teddy bear does bring joy, but the OP's point is that it also seems sometimes to bring sadness - that's what she was concerned about.

Doesn't matter: the important thing is that the lady can express herself through play with the bear. It *might* become a problem if the anxiety and sadness escalate (though I still wouldn't just take the bear away) but it doesn't sound as if that's the case?

Saw an old lady on the train once.

She introduced her bear to us teenagers. He was dressed smart! Shirt & jacket, maybe a hat even. They had been to the races. She had a nice dress & lippy on. They had had a great day.

We all had a great time chatting on the train. We were surprised... but played along, stayed polite.

After she & bear alighted, we debriefed. Even as teens we agreed: if that bear made her happy, replaced her dead husband or whatever, we accepted it.

After all, we all want someone to love.

(and some kindhearted folk to help us)

Leave her alone. If you are not a Psychiatrist, leave her alone! Similar reports abound from those who did not or craved but not received attention or acknowledgement during their lifetime. Leave her alone....and pray if you walk thru that corridor...sooner or later....if related to her to the fourth generation, that someone will have mercy on you, and leave you alone!

I care for an aging parent who at 98 loves her stuffed lions and lion art throughout her bedroom and home. She has a huge stuffed lion. I also care for a disabled sister and two large dogs. By the way I have a teddy bear that I've had for over 30 years. When I flew back to America from Jerusalem there was an extra seat beside me and I let the bear sit in it. I love my Teddy Bear and it has a very special and warm memory attached to it. If the bear givers her some comfort leave it alone let her keep it. If the bear causes her some discomfort or an association with something that is uncomfortable, sad or even death. Give her comfort. some assuring words help to associate with positive memories. I'm just a parent and a daughter but I truly understand the pain of losing a love one and the need to hold on to a memory. "Teddy Bears can sometimes be very therapeutic and comforting."

Reassure her that the bear is fine and praise her for taking such good care of it. If it is soiled, make sure it gets a wash. Greet the bear when she has it and tell her how good she looks and how well mama is caring for her. Do not take it away.

One of our family members have stuffed animals which for sometime have been a comfort. Her problem is she hallucinates that her dogs she's had (who died) are in the house with her. She cries that someone has stolen them, she imagines she has a basement and can't get them out, or she has a second floor and they are freezing. I try to divert her attention to her stuffed animals who she can take care and love. Usually I am successful and she sets them to watch cartoons etc. However, she lives alone and her son lives next door. The family works full time but takes her breakfast and supper (sometimes lunch) and her medicine. When she thinks the bear is dead, check it out, listen to its heart, take its pulse and assure her that sometimes bears go in hibernation. Dementia patients can be so alone and I too might give the bear a companion.

IMO, your aunt will have good days and bad days with or without the stuffed animal.

I would keep anything that calms her or gives her joy - even if on bad days she targets the bear. You don't know how many more bad days she might have, or how bad her bad day might be, without it.

Sadly, there will be more bad days to come. All the tips, tricks and techniques to give her joy now is a plus.

I am having the same problem. My mom has a stuffed dog and a cat and sometimes she is so stressed over them I wonder if I have done the right thing getting them for her. She has often woke me up in a panic in the middle of the night crying that they have died, they aren't breathing or "feel them there is nothing to them. What happened?" She also worries because they wont eat, play or go to the bathroom. I use all kinds of creative ways to ease her mind as I am sure you do too but I understand the question because I have asked myself the same thing. She can just get so distraught and obsessive I wondered if I was causing her more harm than good. I decided that since she still has far more good days then bad with 'her pets" I would revisit the question if that changes. She was going thru a bad stage with them for like over a week but is back to her normal with them again. Thankfully
I wish you well!