Do I take the teddy bear away or continue to let her care for it?

No you don't take her teddy bear away, as she finds great comfort and joy taking care of it. Many people with dementia(women in particular)love to carry around a baby doll or in your aunts case a teddy bear, and love on them, and care for them. You will see that a lot if you were to ever visit a memory care facility.
I think it's quite sweet to see, and it does no one any harm.
Perhaps next time she says that it has died, you can just go along with things and tell her that you will try giving it mouth to mouth, or that you will take it to the doctor.
Bless you for looking after your aunt.

I would reassure her that the baby is just sleeping and she has to calm down or she will upset the baby.

My grannie loved her baby doll and we always put her down for her nap so we could cruise around the NH and visit. We bought new clothes, changed her diaper when it got saggy from to much loving and made a fuss about how big she was getting, just like a real baby. It worked and grannie was satisfied that all was well when we went cruising.

I’m glad she finds joy with the bear. That’s a gift for you both. If she becomes distraught say something like “no silly, she’s napping, you know babies sleep deeply” and distract her. Hopefully she’ll be satisfied and move on

I wish my hubby had a teddy bear. He is currently fixated on a long-handled shoehorn. He carries it with him and frets if he sets it down and forgets where it is. He actually sleeps with it clutched in his hand.

Never, never take the bear away. Reassure her that he's fine, but never take that connection away from her. There will be fewer and fewer connections for her as time goes on, and the bear may be the last one she keeps.

There are teddy bears with heartbeat recorders.

I wouldn't take her bear away, it gives her too much pleasure. Is there a heartbeat bear that is close to what she has?

My husband likes two stuffed toys here-which I introduced to him a few months ago, thinking that would help him. It does, he has them talking in different accents, hanging out, teasing the cats and each other. He hasn't paid much attention to them recently-but I make sure to keep them close to his bed and might ask him soon how are they doing. I've been thinking about adding other stuffed animals to the mix, but it might be too much for my husband to intergrate into his two toys. In fact, one of the web sites that sells clothing for dementia patients also has over sized teddy bears and I wonder if these are comfort toys for dementia patients.
Also, if possible when your aunt's teddy bear has recovered from a near death experience, is it possible to gift the bear with a scarf or some sort of gift? Reinforcing a positive outcome for your aunt might reduce the possibility of a reccuring teddy bear terminal illness and lessen her stress overall.

There is nothing for you to do. Nothing will stop or slow down her decline.

There are "life like" weighted dolls that might be to her liking.
There are animals that have features like heart beats and they make noises, cats purr.
But it is possible that none of these would work or give her comfort like the teddy bear she has. (try telling a parent that lost a child that another can replace the one that died)
If you are with her when the "teddy bear dies" try to reassure her that it is just sleeping and the breathing and heart beat slows when they are sleeping. Tell her that the Teddy Bear will be ok when he/she wakes up. Then try to redirect, "let's go get a snack ready for Teddy when he wakes up and we can have some tea now."

Leave the teddy with her. It's keeping her occupied & has something to cuddle

No, don't take this object of comfort away.
Grandma1954 has another good idea, but she may still prefer her teddy bear. If she does have times when she cries over the bear and what she imagines it is only to provide her comfort, to tell her you are sorry, ask her if there is anything you can do, comfort her.
Do know that for her this is very real. Taking it away would likely be very painful for her. It was the opinion of Oliver Sack who lifelong studied the mind, that their worlds are very real, just so different and alien from our own that we can't understand that. So our deficits are perhaps as severe as hers? Many things are beyond explanation and understanding. This is but one of them.

It's just mind boggling how quickly things change with dementia. One moment the teddy bear is an object of comfort, the next moment it's an object of fear & sadness. There's no good answer here, as there is no good answer with the angst & torment of dementia in general, except to say leave the teddy bear with your Aunt. Reassure her, as the others have said, that the teddy is alive and well when she fears he's stopped breathing, and distract her onto another topic. Until the next time.

There is always 'something for you to do' for your Aunt when dementia is involved; there is always comfort to offer or a shoulder for her to cry on. Of course nothing is going to stop or slow down her decline, until the blessed peace of her transition occurs. But in the meantime, offer her all the comfort you can, and have been. A baby doll is often a great source of comfort for dementia patients, so it may be worth your while to buy one for your Aunt to see how she likes it.

Best of luck.

Let her keep the teddy bear if it brings her comfort and joy. She's obviously out if it if she believes it's her child, so taking it away would be cruel.
All the responses here are right about when she thinks it has died. Just reassure her that it isn't so.

Don't take it away. Have you tried playing along and "rescuing" the baby by giving it medicine or telling her it was just sleeping? See how she reacts to that, but do it in a very calm and reassuring way.

My 99-yr old aunt with mod/sev dementia helped raise me from birth but never had children of her own. She has fixated on a llama-like multi-colored stuffed animal as her baby. The irony is that she and her housemate sister made and purchased numerous dolls over the years, many that even look just like newborns. Her house is full of them in every room. But those she is not interested in. Just the weird rainbow colored llama. Perhaps because it is very soft and not hard and plastic-y like the dolls.

Mom’s been sleeping w a big stuffed beagle since my dad passed. When she moved to AL i replaced it with a clean one. She also really enjoys her beanie babies. She has a sofa arm tray with pockets for glasses, nail files, etc. and the tray on top holds her pens and snacks… then she discovered that the beanies sit nicely
up there and are close so she can hold them and talk to them. They make her smile and laugh. She often says ‘ Have you seen this? His big eyes are so funny.’ ( i pretend they are new to me even tho i brought them awhle back) So very thankful her level of dementia has made her childlike and happy alot with simple things like toys, ice cream, hersey kisses and bananas.

Probably let her keep teddy since it still brings her joy. On bad days, it might be best to divert her attention to other topics and activities.

If she says it has died, take it away (or whatever she seems to want).
You can bring it back before long (maybe the next day) because she probably won't remember. Nothing wrong with her keeping the Teddy if it seems to bring her comfort.

Tell her. . .
1) it is taking a nap . . . that's a GREAT idea for you, too - want to take a nap with your xxx" S/he'd love that !
2) It is sleeping after a very long day. It feels good resting now.
3) Do not take it away ---
IMPORTANT:
a). use it as a model of behavior which would be helpful / healthy for her to emulate (i.e., rest, be calm, feel loved, someone to talk to, etc.)
b). You never want to take something away WITHOUT replacing it.

* I'd say as long as she isn't eating it or being self-destruction that the attachment is healthy for her. In addition, you could get her a cat or dog that move and make noises like real ones. (And keep the bear and/or see how she proceeds.). There is no reason to take it away.
* She may be thinking or realizing 'somewhere in her brain' that death is part of life - even though she won't understand this. For her to 'think' like this is a way to release feellings of grief and sadness - feelings that often are stuffed in / down and would be best felt. You can easily divert her attention or focus of what the bear is actually doing (sleeping, relaxing, having a lovely dream OF HER !)

Gena / Touch Matters

I know this from experience with my BIL with dementia don't change their routine once they have it set in their mind its there to stay. You try to change it just messes them up won't get back into that routine causes more problems.

Let her keep the teddy bear. If it dies then say poor teddy console her but don't take it away. I know it will be repeating yourself but its part of their mind don't disrupt it or you may have more problems.

Prayers to you and your aunt.

Your aunt is using the teddy bear as a tool to express emotions that she is feeling. Sometimes they will be sad emotions because she is feeling sad. She's allowed to feel sad, isn't she?

When she is, are you able to console her? You could try developing the conversation to explore what else might be involved in these thoughts and feelings, but dig gently!

I would suggest that she keep the teddy bear, I would guess that the contentment she has with it outweighs the bits of sadness she experiences. Perhaps you can get her to thinking about something else when those sad thoughts creep into her mind - maybe a snack, some music, read to her, etc. My mom has baby dolls that she “mothers” - mostly she loves on them, sometimes she scolds them and other times she wants nothing to do with them. I will be the first to admit that I was not fond of introducing a doll baby into this equation (I would sometimes wonder if she knew the babies weren’t real and would be upset with us, like we were dumbing her down) but it seems to give for some peace, comfort and joy, which is one of our goals at this stage. Dementia is a roller coaster ride and we do the best we can to hang on and keep our loved one safe and happy. Love, reassurance, patience and companionship is what our moms need and deserve! It is a difficult journey for all. Best wishes to you and your mom.

Let her keep it. The teddy bear is a comfort item to her.

Let her keep it with her. It’s comforting her and that’s good.

I use to work in the central office of a company that owned multiple NHs. My job was in multiple areas of management from controller to maintaining and updating computers and the Medicare/Medicaid software. Often when I was walking down the halls just to do an examination of the rooms/facilities, I would have a lady walk up to me and hand me her doll. I would cradle the doll like it was a baby, rock it a little and talk to it. The smile on the residents face could make my day. Another time a lady asked me if I could help her find her dorm. She thought she was back in college, somewhere in Missouri. A nurse overheard and whispered which wing and room number. I walked her back all the while asking about her family. She said she has to go back from time to time and help her family on the farm. Got her to her "dorm room" and said my goodbyes. I came to believe if you are going to deal with dementia, what better way than to regress to a happy time. Not an expert, but it seems to me that whatever world they are in is better than being confused and upset. If its manageable and doesn't disrupt others, let her have the "baby". When she becomes upset and thinks it has died, you're going to have to be inventive. Assure her the baby is fine. It may take some time to figure out the best way to assure her. But taking the baby away isn't a good idea. For my sister in AL, sometimes she thinks she is part of the staff, sometimes she thinks she is going to be interviewed for a job. She has a master's degree in psychology and worked as a family councilor. Served in the Army as a sergeant so she has a lot of flashes of a past life that she seems to relive. I just talk with her like she is what she thinks she is as long as its not troublesome to others. Find a way to assure her the teddy bear is ok. Where ever she is living in her mind, let her find some comfort and happiness in her last years. I'm sure most of the other answers will tell you the same.

Definitely let her keep it. Good idea to keep a spare in case it gets lost too. My mother has a baby doll that is her entire world now. She sometimes thinks the doll is sick, and I have to calm her down, but overall the doll is super therapeutic. I have a spare at home just in case. P.S. You might explore different medications as well. My mother is on antidepressants and Trazadone. These medications keep her calm and even without making her drowsy or "drugged up." Good luck to you.

Absolutely let her keep it! Is there a cat in the house? My dad talked with his cats all day, and honestly, I think being able to have a conversation kept him alive longer. He would sit and pet his cat and talk to it. There's something to touch that is healing and comforting.
Keep some extra stuffed animals on hand, and when she's down, change the subject and tell her she has a nursery to care for. At stage five, her mind is like a child. She isn't the grown-up that you knew. This is the most sad disease known to mankind in my opinion.

Validate her feelings, "You are such a great mother." etc. It is more about the feelings that are attached to the symbolic teddy bear, no need to rationalize them, just acknowledge them.

They actually sell dementia stuffed animals. After my mothers cat died I bought her one. The idiots at the nursing home threw it out when they packed her up so I bought her another for her hospice stay. Best money I ever spent. It soothed her . Because it was motion activated she thought it was alive, unlike her real cat that she was sure died at least once a day since, like most cats it pretty much ignored you and didn’t move if it didn’t feel like it lol. So if you can afford it, maybe try a motion activated one?

Let her keep her bear and maybe enter her reality. Go along with her. Does she need soothing like someone who has experienced a loss? Sympathize with her. Explore her sadness. As you’ve experienced her mood will go up and down.

She is seeking purpose. Let her care for her bear and give her other jobs.

Polishing silver, organizing drawers, folding wash cloths. Praise her good work and encourage a full schedule.