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However, would there be a way for you to continue caring for your mom at the nursing home that wouldn't jeopardize your marriage and other commitments?
Your profile says Mom has ALZ/Dementia. She may never like it until she no longer knows where she is. But, its the best place she can be. Her needs are going to get greater and u may not be able to deal with it. You r entitled to a life. I am assuming you are around 70. You need to enjoy your husband. You never know what life will bring. Mom has had a life and now needs more care than u can give.
How long have you been on this website? Spend a day reading some of the MANY stories of people having moved a dementia patient into their homes and see what you are in for if you are at all tempted to move her into your house. It is HORRIBLE. It is stressful and exhausting to the Nth degree and very frequently, the patient outlives the caregiver.
The best you can do for her is visit her at the NH frequently, daily if possible, to ensure she is being well cared for. Believe me, the staff knows who visits regularly.
I don’t understand why you would even consider dumping your marriage in favor of your mother. Are there issues there as well?
Your post is very brief and vague. Perhaps if you repost with as many details as you are comfortable providing, we could be of more help.