Difficult to get Mother to consent to nursing home. Any advice?

Thanks to you too babalou!

But even if she falls and breaks a leg and goes to a SNF for rehab I think she can still refuse to consent to permanently stay. POA doesn't work if she can speak for herself. Can't afford guardianship. And then I have to take care of the extra precautions and follow up appts, etc. I love my mom and she isn't mean. Can be manipulative sometimes.

I meant chipped vertebrea.

Thanks ashlynne. My mom did have a fall that resulted in a chopped #2 vertebrea. Stayed at a rehab unit of an SNF but they still sent her home in a neck brace based on physical evaluations and a home eval even though it's a 2 story unit that she has to go up and down a few times a day. I took time away from work to help her then flew my brother out from Florida to help while i went back to work and stayed at my girlfriends house so he could have my bedroom (2 bdrm unit) Now he says he can't do it anymore. There was a time that I was so proud to tell people that mom and I live together because I'm trying to keep her out of a nursing home. Today I quit my job and probably lost my wonderful girlfriend because I have to take care of my mom. She wont consent although i am going to keep trying to talk her into it. Its going to be rough financially and otherwise. Starting to feel depressed already. Thanks again ashlynne

Ashlynne is right. Sometimes you have to step back and let the "bad thing" happen for things to get taken care of.

It's usually a major fall that necessitates entrance to a nursing home. My mother refused to use her rolling walker in the house and got about holding on to the walls and furniture. She fell frequently and I could get her up if she co-operated. Eventually she fell one evening and I got her up and into bed. At 2 a.m. I got up for some reason, heard a big bang and found her on the den floor in a pool of blood and incoherent. From hip surgeries over the years and a bad back I couldn't get her up and she was taken to hospital by ambulance. She was 86, had parkinsons for 15 years, dementia and had had many strokes. Obviously I couldn't care for her alone 24/7 any more so after a month in hospital she went into a lovely nursing home.

Not long after she fell trying to hide a protein shake on top of the wardrobe so staff wouldn't know she didn't drink it, broke her hip and from that point on she was in a wheelchair, unable to stand alone though, due to the dementia, she often tried to get out of bed, ended up on the floor and was taken to the ER.

There comes a time when skilled nursing care is needed 24/7. No one person can do it alone. In the nursing home my mother was clean, fed and safe and the staff were wonderful.