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82-year-old dad doesn’t like to wear clothes anymore. He won’t wear depends, underwear, pants, nothing. He has accidents and has to have his housekeeper clean his carpets. He won’t do even the slightest house work or chores. He won’t put dishes in the dishwasher or walk down the hall to take his trash out. He does not have dementia. He says that clothes chafe him. At wits end. I dread going to visit him. Today I brought dinner over and he was sound asleep at the scheduled time. He came to the door nude and holding a towel in front of him. I dropped the food off and left immediately. He begged me to stay but it was too depressing to me. I just don’t understand it and not prepared to see him naked.

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Sorry but, a person does not suddenly start walking around naked because, after 82 years, his clothing 'chafes' him. Nor does he defecate and/or urinate on the carpet and expect his housekeeper to clean his carpets afterward, refuse to wear underwear, etc.

If it has not happened already, your father needs a full medical evaluation including a cognition exam; a MoCA or SLUMS exam takes about 15 minutes and will evaluate his cognitive abilities and score him from 1-30 so you'll know where he stands and get a baseline. If he truly does not have dementia, you can get him to a geriatric psychiatrist for a professional evaluation about his mental health.

In our society, we're expected to wear clothing and use the toilet; that's just the way it is. If we decide to detour from those habits, a medical evaluation is the next step.

Wishing you the best of luck getting your dad a medical workup asap.
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I would like to point out that your father’s housekeeper doesn’t deserve the indignity and dangerous conditions of having to clean feces and urine off of surfaces because your father refuses to wear underwear, and/or moves too slowly to make it to the toilet.

The housekeeper also doesn’t deserve the indignity of having a naked elderly man hanging around as she tries to do her paid job.

Being a slave in olden times was no worse than what (you and) your father are putting the housekeeper through. She obviously doesn’t feel she has many options or she would’ve already told your father where to stick it. I fear for the health and well being of the housekeeper.
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Have you told him that you aren't going to hang out with your naked dad?

I think I would buy him a silk bathrobe for father's day. It doesn't chafe and will provide you some comfort when dealing with him.
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Beatty May 2022
I just love your answer.

Everybody wins!
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He needs an updated medical evaluation. This new behavior isn’t normal and needs checking out. No one just likes to shock or offend others with nudity or have accidents or live in disarray without there being some issue
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Just because he has not been diagnosed with dementia of some type does not mean he does not have it.
This sounds a lot like Frontal temporal Dementia to me. He should be seen by a Neurologist or a Neuropsychologist for a full exam and proper diagnosis.

If I were the housekeeper I would quit but not before first checking with a lawyer to see if this might qualify for sexual abuse/ (just kidding here but this is serious and he could get into trouble answering the door in the nude. )
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I agree. This is not normal behaviour. And if I was his housekeeper I would quit. You need to get him to a Neurologist. He could have had a stroke and it effected the part of the brain that controls this type of behavior.
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Incontinence is a deal breaker. Nudity is a deal breaker. There is no going back after the first time you see urine or fecal matter anywhere but in a pull-up or in the toilet. The situation has clearly changed.
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It sounds as though your dad was never a nudist before and this is a new symptom or personality trait that has presented itself. This sounds to me like he has some cognitive issues going on. Add in the incontinence and it would be a deal breaker for me. He needs evaluated by a professional. If he goes outside naked and has a conversation with a child, he is going to get in trouble. Get pop a doctors appointment asap!
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No more visits or dinners brought unless he is dressed when he opens the door. If he want to sleep naked or be in his own room naked, fine, but refusing all the things you say he won't do would lead me to believe that he is incredibly self centered, or needs some mental help. Somehow, there has to be at least a few rules to live by. Is this a change from what he used to be like? If so, that might indicate dementia. Dementia can present in a lot of ways I would think. I would consult his doctor. What does the housekeeper say about all this. I would have quit a long time ago.
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Any behavior or personality changes should be reported to his doctor, OR have a “welfare check,” so they can see this for themselves.
Nobody is going to think this is ok.
No home health aide should have to endure that either.
The kaftan idea is a good one, IF you can get him to wear it.
He might have a urinary tract infection that’s causing these behaviors.
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