Christmas is a season for giving to others. If you are a caregiver, what would you most like to receive in appreciation for your services?

I was a caregiver to my parents for many years. There were many warm and loving times with my family. Like any other family we had challenging times too.

As the years went by, many times I felt overlooked or unappreciated. It seems like we fall into routines and are often taken for granted.

At times, I felt lost and confused, frustrated and even angry. Most of all I felt exhausted!

It meant everything to me when I was told by my parents and others that I was appreciated. A sincere, ‘Thank you!’ goes a long way.

I know that caregivers need a lot more than kind words to survive. They need time for themselves and appropriate help.

One particular Christmas, my niece gave me a lovely gift that included all sorts of sweet treats inside, chocolates, bath products, nail polish, gift cards, etc. which I appreciated very much. She included a beautiful card that she tucked inside with a handwritten letter telling me that she recognized all of my efforts. It brought tears to my eyes.

I also received lots of help from fellow and former caregivers from AgingCare website. I am truly appreciative of the warmth and support that you offered. Therapy helped as well as an in person support group for caregivers.

Some people feel that people who give selflessly should not expect anything in return. I don’t agree with this. Everyone deserves to be appreciated by those they are caring for or the families who hire them. Otherwise, resentment and despair builds up and it can cause devastating effects for the caregiver.

Sometimes I felt invisible as the caregiver. Some people who spoke to me only inquired about my mom, and never asked how I was holding up.

At times we hear about caregivers who consider it an honor or privilege to care for others. Oh gosh, I can’t say that I felt this way. I cared about my parents wellbeing but it was emotionally draining for me.

Every time I turn around I see ads for caregivers. It’s a tough job! Often a thankless one too.

I would love to read responses from all caregivers, past and present. What do you want this Christmas and throughout the year?

I placed this under family caregiver because I didn’t see any other fit. I would love to hear from any and all caregivers, family, facility and hospice workers.

Caregivers, what changes in attitude would you like to see?

If you are a family member please chime in too.