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It's a little after 2AM. I live in a converted apt. in back of my mother's house. I hired a caregiver a little over 2 wks ago supposedly 24/7. She gets days off but it was agreed that she would be here every day from 5PM as mom gets up at odd hours (last night it was 3AM) gets dressed and is on her way out the door. Or like just now, I for some reason went in the house and she'd wet her pants and needed help. Lo and behold, no caregiver. What should I do with her?

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Document the time and date. Terminate her formally with a letter. Keep a copy for yourself (even if you have to write it twice - one for her and one for you.) Yes, you must fire her. To keep her, and if she sneaks off, and your mother gets hurt, the authorities will ask you if this has ever happened before. If you say yes, they will wonder why you still kept the worker - knowing that she left your elderly parent alone. You can also get in trouble for elderly neglect.

Change the lock and keys..if she was given a key.
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Your mother needs to be in a facility. Not at home with a homeless mentally ill person taking care of her. Get her now and get her qualified for Medicaid.
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No.

You hired someone who is unreliable. You now have an unreliable person with a grievance and you're seriously considering leaving your mother alone with her?

Postpone your appointments, get on the phone to a reputable agency and find another caretaker.
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I will be the first one.

Fire her.

That is Abandonment, and if she is an employee you have more that you need for recourse.

Do not look back, she will not change. She obviously put her boundary way out there, and was out to see how much you will tolerate. This means you tolerate ZERO.

NOW, the reality is that you have to spend all the precious time to find someone whom is worth it. Your mom deserves it, and obviously since you wrote in, you sound like a loving woman that does care for her. You deserve it too! Blessings to you and I hope that you are able to do this fast. It is a process, but in the end, it will be so much easier. Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? Anyone that hires me. That obviously is someone that does not or if she does has issues, but has few if any regards for working, and other peoples money, and more importantly, "the million what if's, and I am just glad you wrote in.

THE BEST TO YOU. She does not need two weeks notice. Since she lives there.

Type if you can a written letter.

Effective immediately July 25, 2014, your position as caregiver is being terminated.
In ____________ State, it is an Employment at Will.

Please see that your items and everything is removed from my mother's residence by 5:00pm tonight, Friday July 25, 2014.

Thank you.

Mary Jones

PS: What I would be very careful of, since she has pulled this terribly gross stunt so early on in the relationship, I would not leave the premises where your mother is, until she is packed and gone. I would NO WAY, LEAVE HER THERE ALONE. I would also immediately before I give this notice, look around for items missing, rings.
I find it hard to believe that someone that would pull this ABANDONMENT SO SOON in a caregiving relationship, HONESTLY, I PUT ANYONE LIKE THIS ALONG WITH THE THEFT OF THINGS, PROPERTY DESTRUCTION, ETC.

I am in NO WAY TRYING TO SCARE YOU. POSSIBLY THERE WAS A REASON I WAS UP TONIGHT, BUT SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE N O W. REALLY, I WOULD WORRY, AND YOU COULD HAVE AN ISSUE with "the vulnerable adult" being left alone, and you know about it once and did not take measures to rectify it.

All the best, and sorry to be or sound so aggressive, I really care, and you do too!!!
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First of all, request an explanation. I for one can't WAIT to hear what she's got to say for herself.

Barring an explanation that justifies her leaving the building without informing you, letting alone seeking your permission for her absence, you then put everything in writing and fire her. You also copy whichever agency you got her from.
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"I just don't have the time right now to do a change."

Make time. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. Appointments can be rescheduled; if they're more important than addressing this issue, then acknowledge it but don't pretend to be upset and irate and then present an excuse for not acting.

You've given her 2 excuses; don't vascillate with any more just because you've got appointments. If they're more important than your mother's care, then you need to rethink your whole caregiving role.

At-will employment should have been established when you hired her. If you gave her any inclination that her employment would be with you for a while, for any length of time, or represented anything other than that her employment could be terminated at will, you can't invoke it now in firing her.

Did you do a background check on her? If not, why not?

Ba8alou is right; get professional help and start working on Medicaid qualification today.

And for crying out loud don't hire someone from an Internet site.
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Once they're there a month, they can be considered a tenant and can be very hard to get out of your house. Get her out now, before she reaches that magic 30 day marker.
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deserve it too! Blessings to you and I hope that you are able to do this fast. It is a process, but in the end, it will be so much easier. Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? Anyone that hires me. That obviously is someone that does not or if she does

SORRY SOME MESS UPS IN MY WRITING.

Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS WAS WRITEN THIS WAY. DELETE THE "Who is They?"

Trust is the (or one of the first issue(s) that people look at when in the first 90 days of working). I am a caregiver and anyone whom hires me, will know within the first month, that without a shadow of doubt, I am loving, caring, compassionate, look at the client as if they were in my own family, and always follow the rules. Of course this sounds very simple. But, I have seen the best of best caregivers, and the poor. It is a job, that some families do not want to or cannot pay the money out to, and that saddens me, but I know there are very good caregivers in every region.


I AM really sorry, for the wording.
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No one can work all 3 shifts or even 2 back to back shifts caring for an elderly person, no matter how young they are..... a student might sound like a good idea but most college students have a full schedule of classes during the day and will need their evenings to study and get a full night sleep.

You might get a student to jump at the chance but they will be burnt out after a few weeks, then you will be back to square one.

I agree with ba8alou, maybe it is time for your Mother to be in an assistant care facility. If something would happen to you, then what?
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I think she should leave, but you should know...you get what you pay for. That she has "days" off is not a plus and, to me, smacks of a complete User. Those are slave hours; she's working from 5pm to ??? and when is she suppose to sleep? I know I may sound hard, and you are between a rock and a hard place, you need additional help but slavery is not the way to go.
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