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I see Stacy's point. I would ask a few questions. First, where were her children going before and after school before COVID. My grandson was in a latchkey program. The school bus picked him up and dropped him off at his former daycare. When schools reopened this Fall that program continued. I only get my Gson when school is closed for a holiday.

There are government programs for low income parents for Daycare. I feel the 10 yr old is old enough to keep her siblings in check. I babysat my infant brother, for short periods, at 11.

You have a right to set boundries in your home. Sit her down and ask her why she is bringing her children. Ask if there is not a family member or a daycare that can watch them. Then tell her you wish she had asked permission. That you don't feel that she can do her job and keep check on the two younger ones who seem to think its OK to go all over your house. That you don't feel its your responsibility to keep check on them and when asked not to do something, they continue to do it. This is not fair to you.

Not sure what the compromise would be here. Find daycare for the two youngest with the state paying? Then let the 10yr old come. This woman is probably just making ends meet. Do you have a room that can be set up for them? If so, that is where they stay. A TV should keep them entertained. Allow Mom to be bring toys and whatever. I am assuming she supplies their food. If they don't remain in the room, then you will need to start looking for someone else.

This is hard, you need a Caregiver and she needs a job.
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jacobsonbob Apr 2021
If I understood correctly, there are only two children--the OP was simply unsure of the boy's age. However, if the children are permitted to come, there should be an understanding that the boy is NOT allowed to have the run of the house and touch everything!
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If you are totally (TOTALLY) satisfied with every other aspect of her caregiving, and this doesn’t happen too often, I might consider asking her to let you know, so you could have everything locked when the family arrives.

I’d want to indicate too, that you are REALLY HOPING, for HER SAKE, that it won’t happen too often, because YOU KNOW how hard it is for her to provide for her children on short notice.

We have taken care of my grands since before the pandemic, but now, not knowing their school program schedules, child care problems are MUCH worse.

YOU are paying her salary so YOU are entitled to be comfortable and relaxed with the work she is doing for you, but honestly, Covid has ruined so many lives, IF you feel as though you can cut her a little slack, I’d give her a chance.
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I would ask her about her situation. I'm surprised she didn't ask first. It's up to you whether you want them in your home. You might have to fine a new caregiver though. Also, how does your loved one react to the children? My mom would be thrilled to see children in the house again. Maybe that could be a good relationship? You could talk to the caregiver and set some ground rules and maybe even talk how the kids could help and learn from this experience. If they agitate your loved one, then that would not work. Best wishes you as you go through this.
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higgins1934 Apr 2021
Thanks for your kind response! It is very helpful. When it comes to
children, these are always delicate issues.
Thanks again!
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If you would have asked me a year and a half ago, my answer would be totally different than now.

With schools closed, CGs children are of school age, sometimes it cannot be helped. If you need help, you may need to make a small sacrifice.

That does not mean you cannot define behavior of children in your home. Address the behaviors with the caregiver and the children.
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higgins1934 Apr 2021
Thanks for taking time out and sharing your valuable advise with me.
It is greatly appreciated.
Again, many thanks.
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When I ran a babysitting agency a few years ago, we had a hard rule: the sitters were NOT to bring their children along to the clients' homes, period. You would think this should go without saying, but apparently it doesn't, and has to be discussed up front.

It's totally unacceptable for your CG to bring ANY of her children along to her place of employment, never mind 3 of them! Speak to her right away and if she quits, so be it. The fact that she's doing such a thing without prior approval is what's most bothersome to me. What else is doing without your approval, I wonder?

Good luck!
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higgins1934 Apr 2021
Thank you so much for your kind and prompt advise.
I certainly will address the issue, as suggested.
Again. many thanks.
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This is really worried situation and some time it's would be hard to say something like this. But you need to tell him before her kids broke anything. Although, She upset for sometime but its will be good for long term.
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higgins1934 Apr 2021
I appreciate so much your kind and prompt advise.
Now, I will not feel guilty for standing my ground.
So many thanks, again.
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Just tell her no children. I this problem once. I told her no children in the workplace. Same with pets. She wanted to bring her dog and tie him up in my yard. Not happening. I’m not a pet person, especially not a dog.
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JoAnn29 Apr 2021
I am not a dog person so that would have been No for me too.
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This is 100%, absolutely NOT OK.

I have 4-8 yo grands and I would no more take them into work than try to fly. What a nightmare! Half your CG's time is probably spent dealing with the kids.

This may be OK for some people, but you sound unhappy and goodness knows, most of us would feel that way.

If your CG won't leave the kids, then she can't be a CG for you.
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higgins1934 Apr 2021
Thanks for your great advise!!!
As suggested, I certainly will address this issue promptly.
Thanks Again.
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