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My "mother" has always been mean and evil and is toxic to anyone who disagrees with her. I am the back up POA on her finances and the main POA on her health care and she is a horrible person who started accusing me of things and actually signed an EOOP on me so she would be able to stay in her assisted living even after she signed she wanted out of the assisted living and to return to her home. As her medical POA I would love to have her have a mental evaluation....but I believe that would only make her more lashing out and toxic. So would it be best to resign from all forms of POA for her and if so how would I resign?

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If your mom is causing legal trouble for you, I'd step right away. Worse case scenario, let the state take charge of her. I believe that you can send a letter resigning POA to her or to her lawyer. Notarizing would be good, and send return receipt requested. Sending it to her attorney would be best, if she has one. And to her doctors - anyone who might know that you have POA and might rely on that. Now I'm assuming she is competent, so now is the time to get out. She is notified and she has now to run her own affairs. I would be very unwilling to be involved with anyone who would actually get me into legal trouble.
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I believe you can resign, but I'm not sure how. I guess you could write her or her lawyer who drew up the documents and just state that you are resigning without going into why.
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You can resign via letter which needs to be notarized. Check out legalzoom or one of the other online legal sites unless you have an elder care attorney.
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Her staying or not staying in a home is the Financial POAs problem, ur just back up if he / she can no longer handle it. Tell them ur resigning. Now the Medical, that responsibility comes in when Mom can't make an informed decision. If she is unconsious someone is needed to sign off. Who is going to do it if she is found she is incompetent. At that point she cannot reassign someone. I would first go to the lawyer who wrote up the papers. Ask him how you need to handle it. If he is no longer available then try another lawyer.
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dd3508
What is an EEOOP?
You seem very angry and I'm sure you have every reason to be. But perhaps you should allow yourself a moment.
How could a mental evaluation make her worse? It might get her the medication she would need to settle down?
No doubt you need a break and to regroup. Remember as a POA you don't have to do hands on management of your mother. You don't even need to see her. Read it over carefully and see what your responsibilities actually are and if you can take a step back and still be there for if and when a medical POA is necessary.
Who is your backup on the medical POA? Would they be able to step in for awhile as for as hands on?
I sometimes think children or spouses shouldn't be POA but then WHO would in reality? It's not a cushy job is it?
I'm really sorry you are going through this. You have obviously been taking it way way too long. Take a break. Don't visit. Give the others a heads up. Give it a couple of weeks and then see how you feel.
Hugs
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