What are your thoughts on bringing someone home to care for them?

My thoughts are to make sure you have an exit plan. You never know what it's going to be like to live with someone, especially a frail dependent person, until you're doing it. I've been in the situation several times and each situation became extremely stressful and difficult. None of them were sustainable (for me) over an extended period of time. It's very hard to have someone in your space who is dependent on you for everything. Your freedom is severely curtailed, your privacy is greatly restricted, and your energy is stretched to the breaking point. If this person is staying with you while recovering from an illness or surgery, the contract will have a natural ending point. If this is an open-ended agreement to care for the person in your home for an indeterminate period of time, think very carefully about what your limits are in the situation and what you will do when/if those limits are reached.

It would be helpful to know more about the situation, such as how old the person is, what their condition is, are you trained, is your home properly equipped to handle her needs, etc.

I would read a lot about caring for a senior or disabled person in your home. You'll read many types of issues that arise here and at other online places. Many of them are due to the enormous amount of work, time, energy and patience that is required, with little resources to work with. Often, it's not until the person is in the home that the caregiver realizes the enormous responsibility it entails.

rosewambold, that is so nice that you want to help this gentleman, and that he has his own CNA's to help out.   Has the County/City approved the plans for this addition to your house?

Is your house is on public sewer or on septic?   If on septic, there are limits to how many new bedrooms depending on the size of the septic tank.   Once the addition is built, your real estate taxes will increase, same with all your utilities.   Be ready to pay those extra costs, unless the utilities are under a separate meter.

What does his relatives think about this arrangement?   And that he will be paying for addition onto your home?

How are his finances?   Will you or your husband be Power of Attorney to help with financial and medical decisions?   Or does this gentleman handles all that on his own?

You don't want to be placed in a position where within 5 years down the road, he needs to apply for Medicaid as he has run out of money.   Medicaid will see that he paid for an addition on your home, thus Medicaid will consider that a "gift" and that amount will be deducted from any future care.   Then who will pay the CNA's? Or for his first few months in a nursing home?   Chances are slim that will happen, but it is something to keep in the back of your mind.

I have seen a lot of postings like this. Most do not work out. Many fail to get a written contract and it gets messy. When more care is needed, the POA won't pay for it. See a lawyer and get some good legal advice.

I agree with others that you should see a lawyer and also have an exit plan. He's paying for the addition onto your house, right? What if his MS gets worse and you can no longer care for him? What if in five years he develops dementia? I don't suppose these are insurmountable problems, but get it all worked out before he moves in.

Rose -- You have received many well thought out answers as well as questions to ask yourself. I'll add, have you thought how you and your husband will feel if the man your caring for falls or needs assistance during the night? Although you like the idea of working at home, visualize how you will feel the next morning if you are sleep deprived during the night. Are you willing to clean up the patient and your home if he becomes incontinent? I mention the latter because I once had to spend an entire Sunday cleaning up the results of my husband's fecal incontinence before I could have a professional carpet cleaner complete the job. I tolerated incidents like this because I loved my husband, but would not have accepted responsibility for the tasks if it was a paying job. If your husband works outside the home, he will need a good night's sleep every night.

Taking home a parent to be their caretaker is an honorable act of love, but it comes with a lot of work and stress. I would highly advise that you line up responsible help as needed. Read about elder caretakers....read, read, read. Make sure you have a backup plan in case you yourself get ill or burned out. Make sure you get a commitment from other family members to give you time off; you will need it. The most important thing is do not make the mistake of
others and that is.....do NOT make a promise to the parent that you will care for them forever. You don't know what the future holds for your health or situation. Take care of yourself. I commend you for your love shown to your parent. I just lost my Mother after caring for her at home for the past 2 years. Although I had some very difficult times, I never regret it and would do it again. I miss her.

My husband has MS and I care for him at home. He has advanced to the point that he can move nothing below his neck. We have a ceiling lift in the home to transfer him from bed to wheelchair. He cannot feed himself or help with dressing. I change a foley catheter once a month. He can not have a bowel movement without an enema. His cognitive skills are compromised.
I wanted you to know that just because this man's MS is manageable right now does not mean that it will not progress.
My husband was diagnosed 12 years ago.

Any concerns I may have had were covered by the answers here. I stress, be sure you know what you are getting into legally and the strain it will eventually put on you and your family.

I am 62 Y/O and I live at my parents' home (Dad: 86 Y/O; Mom: 83 Y/O); all other siblings have passed away, so, in essence, I'm an "only child." It is my duty to protect my parents from strangers irrespective of ill intent. If I were still married and my partner wasn't keen on the idea, I'd tell him to take a hike. I am not a practicing Christian, per se, as I was in childhood, but I still believe 100% in the Ten Commandments. To "Honor thy father and thy mother" is right up there, for me, with "Thou shalt not kill." Your parents gave you life, for better or for worse; protect them from strangers or live with the consequences in future. Best wishes. P.S. I have a ball taking care of my folks, by the way. I am retired (which helps tremendously); we watch a lot of NETFLIX, HBO, TCM and other non-commercial content; feel good stuff and I feed them a nutritious and varied menu. Unfortunately, I never had any children, so, now, my folks ARE my "children" and I always knew I would've been a fantastic mother; so, we're enjoying ourselves. I go shopping and come home with little "Dollar Tree" goodies and they're amazed and amused.