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There are several considerations to take into account. Besides the obvious (is she qualified, do you get along, can you count on her, rate of pay, etc.) you must determine the nature and formality of the agreement you will have with her.

I am sure that if there is one thing you have learned in your 80 years it is that whether by happenstance or design, things change. When hiring or conducting business with family members it is always difficult to make changes if needed so you must keep that in mind and afford yourself the most flexibility as possible.

It is with this thought, and the possibility that public benefits of same nature may be required down the road, that I suggest you enter into a formal Personal Care Agreement with your niece.

If executed properly you will have established a bonefide agreement and you will be able to point to the agreement in the event that things are not working out.

As importantly, without such an agreement if you or your husband find that you want or need to apply for public benefits in the future your payments to her could be deemed penalty imposing gifts as opposed to payment for services (with the agreement you could even make a lump sum payment for services which could be very helpful in Medicaid planning).

If she is only working for you in a service capacity it is unlikely she will be deemed an independent contractor from an IRS perspective which means that you and she will be responsible for regular employment taxes such as FICA and Social Security. If she is working in the same field for more than one person then she may be eligible for independent contractor status and will be responsible for her own tax filings.

I believe you should give you and your husband the most protection and execute a formal agreement (including terms of dismissal). If you do decide to pay her "off the books" please make sure you get a receipt from her describing the service provided and always pay her by check.

Lastly, although an RN, if she has not had formal training in geriatric caregiving I would encourage you to encourage her to take a Certified Home Health Aide course so she at least knows the basics of elder care.
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am sorry she is like that . i dont think i could tollerate it if my dad s like that . i would stay away from him and he prob wouldnt be in my house either .
i cant stand to have my feeling shurt and i dont want to live like that ,
dad did get a lit attidue to me a year ago , but that is not everyday thing , of course we all have a bad moments . he would wear me out !! but he would never say anything hateful toward to me . he did to my brother and it broke my brothers heart , i remind him that its stroke talkin its not dad s talkin . but it hurt him big time ,
he knows in his mind that if i cant handle him ,that is where he will be at NH . hes a sweetheart and doesnt give me any troubles anymore .
maybe you should just stop visiting ur mother and let her know u will not take any more of her begin hateful toward you . that will make her think twice if not just stay away when ure ready to go back and see her .
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Ihardebeck Bless you for caring for your Dad-I just spent two weeks with my Mom and could not do it full time she started being very nasty to me like she is to others and it really hurt and she has it well off-she has a downstairs neighbor who does things for her and my sister lives nearby but for some reason she thinks she is entitled to say mean things to people when every she pleases.
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IF YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR NIECE AND LIKE HER VERY MUCH AND TRUST HER JUDGEMENTAL OF CARING FOR U AND UR BROTHER THEN YOU SHOULD PAY HER WHATEVER HOW MUCH SHE GETS PAID FROM HER PREVIOUSE JOB , I LEFT MY JOB OF 10 YRS TO CARE FOR MY DAD (86) . IT IS 24-7 WORK AND I ASK JUST ENOUGH TO PAY MY BILLS AND HE GIVES ME THAT MUCH A MONTH . IT WORKS OUT FOR ME CUZ I LOVE MY DAD . :-) , DAD IS HAPPY TO BE AT HOME WITH HIS FAMILIES , AT THE NURSING HOME HE IS SAD AND ALL LONESOME AND MISSING OUT ON WHO COMES AND GOES IN MY HOME . HE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE AROUND PEOPLE HE DOESNT KNOW .
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL .
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Because she is already a nurse and qualified it would depend how involved she would be in the care of the two-is she working now- what amount of time would she be able to be with you are you going to pay her -if she works would the time she would be caring for the two of you work for everyone there are many questions to be asked but if you feel she is the person you would like to care for you. You could always have a trial period of maybe a month and you might want to have an informal contract of what each person expects of the other up front if you could give more details I am sure the people on this site would be able to give you much more support and guidance good luck and please let us know how it goes at first blush it sounds great and a plan.
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