I just spent 10 days in Texas where my father was living with my brother and sis in law. He is suffering from Congestive Heart Failure (CHF), COPD, Diabetes and Liver Failure. He has advanced Edema and three falls and weakness put him into the hospital. I went to help find a facility to place him in, as my bro and sis in law felt they could no longer care for his medical needs at home. We found a very nice place for him, had him moved there from the hospital and, on the advice of the hospital, put him on Hospice. I stayed with him until he was comfortable and he was OK with me going home. It's been two weeks, and he has gotten better since the hospital visit. My brother and sister in law go to see him nearly every day. However, Hospice tells me he's hardly eating and he's drinking very little. His edema is getting worse, his legs are full of fluid and he has an arm that's blown up like a balloon and weeping. Hospice is treating him for advanced edema and for a blood clot in his arm. He say's he's in no pain (hospice is taking care of that too) and that he really likes where he is at and the care he is getting. He has a private room and bathroom with his own little patio. It really is a nice place.
My question is this... I have a vacation planned Nov 2nd through the 8th. I am going with my grown children and 10 yr old granddaughter (her first trip) to one of my favorite places to visit, Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History and the Shed Aquarium and Planetarium on the Lake Michigan Waterfront. We took our daughter there for the first time when she was about my granddaugher's age and I've been looking forward to us taking our only granddaughter there when she was old enough. We have been planning this trip for months and tickets are bought and paid for. I'm worried though, that dad might be at deaths door by that time. What if hospice tells me his death is imminent? Or if I get a call on the way to Chicago? I would absolutely hate not being able to share this trip with my Granddaughter and see her excitement at seeing these great places for the first time. .... I would like to think that dad would tell me to go to Chicago...that I've done what I can do, but I wonder if I could live with the guilt if he dies and I could have been there. It's got me torn up inside, thinking about this. I'd very much appreciate your thoughts...
I did buy trip insurance for my train ride, but goofed up on the hotel reservations. I swear it didn't say on booking.com that the hotel couldn't be cancelled until I booked it. I went back and checked so couldn't find it anywhere. So I would lose my portion of the hotel if I didn't take the trip. Bummer... Hopefully though, as many have mentioned, all might go well and dad might very well hang on till well after the trip. He's that ornery sometimes.
I know if I asked dad and he was in his right mind, he'd definitely say to go. He keeps talking about getting better though, so he doesn't know he's in as bad as shape as he really is so I don't want to ask him...
I do very much appreciate all your answers. I've got a week and a day to see how it all goes. I do know that every time the phone rings, I'm expecting bad news...and that's not fun at all. What helps is all of you, and knowing that you're all going through similiar or will be soon enough. Hugs to you all!
Thanks Rascal12...true that tomorrows are never promised. I will be going...all is planned now. We leave on the afternoon of Nov 2nd and return on the 8th. Just a short trip. Dad's stable for now, so we'll see what happens.