Abuse of caregiver. Advice?

Yes, I have tried several churches. They avoid me like the plague. The only suggestion they have is shelters. Thank you, I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I am grateful to any and all suggestions, and I try to follow up on all of them.

Dallas, have you contacted any of the churches in your area? I wouldn't think it would make much difference what religion you are. Try them all. Often they will help when no one else does.

Shelters for homeless women (not domestic violence)cater to people ... all people without a place to live. . I really have run out of things to say to you. A smartphone costs money.... so you must have some. I am sorry that you feel there is no way out. As long as yu feell that way, there is no way out, there will be no way out. You need to do more than make calls. You need to leave that house. You need to show up at the Police station. Say I am homeless. Do something. . You are playing "poor me, I am a victim and there is no way I can be helped". There are people in far worse shape than you who have gotten help. People with no money cant afford smart phones with unlimited plans. just saying.... this all does not gel together. Maybe someone else will take over at this point. Personally, I have given my best to this. As have a lot of people on here. You have decided that nothing is going to work. You have decided to be a victim. You don't have to be a victim. Only you can make the choice. I am sorry for yur situation, but that is where it ends. Get help. Good luck.

Shelters are FULL. They don't cater to victims of abuse at the hand of EMPLOYER (only domestic violence). Why can't y'all hear me? I dont have the option to stay here anymore, either. IVE GOT TO GET OUT, PER MY EMPLOYER. Everyone says there are options, but somehow, when you're actually in need of those options, they're not there. No one will take my cats and no one will take us.. ,I dont have computer, but I do have smartphone. I make calls all day. You're sorry I feel WHAT WAY? Scared? Alone? I am too.

If you live in Dallas Texas go to shelters for women
If you don't live in Dallas, call anyway, give the name of your town, and let them give you a number. You don't have to be homeless. I am quite sure, that my final post will get a "yes, but". I hope you will be ready before something really awful befalls you. Not sure if you said that the woman you care for his being abused, but I would report that after I leave. If he abused her once, chances are, he will continue to do so. Abuse is never a one-time event. it escalates. You can call Adult Protectdive Services for her anonymously. As you are under 65, I do not know if they can help you but they may be able to refer you to someone who will. You have to be your own agent until you find someone who will help you.

No one is angry at you. In your own words, you said that you could get help but not with the cats? Right. but you would not put them in a shelter. So it is best, I suppose to keep them "safe" in the home where you are? It's really confusing. Now you are saying you will be homeless, but really as a 58 year old, disabled/mentally or physically women, you can get shelter. There are women's shelters/ Not great but they are there UNTIL you can get it together again and find a job. this is the United States, and there is help. But you have to be willing to take it. You said the reason you can't get help is because of the cats. You worry and yet you live with them being abused in that home with that abuser. It really does not make sense. There are women who have, with small children, and just the clothing on their backs, gone to shelters. Not the best place in the world, but better than where they were. If they can do it, so can you. No one is angry, but you have said "no" to many of the posts so far. You give constnt reasons why yu can't do this or that. It is always a "yes, but". Well, if you think that there is no way out, then I ask you this: Why did you even write us for suggestions and ask us to continue giving you suggestions. Life is tough. No question. You are not alone. You are not the first to suffer and you certainly will not be the last. Nothing will happen until you are willing to accept less than "comfortable surrundings for awhile. You did say that there are options but that your fears stop you from taking the options available. That means help is out there. If you suffer mental illness, there is help for that too. There are free hospitals for the indigent (poor). There is also Medicaid, but that takes awhile. If you are in a true emergency situation healthwhise or you are in serious danger, you can get help. It may not be "comfortable", or easy, but it is there. The alternative is to stay where you are. You do have choices; you may not like those choices, but they are there. I have worked with the poor, the disenfranchised, with abused women who left with the clothes on their backs and in shelters so I know that it IS available. You can choose to live in the street, but again that is a choice. You do not have to stay in the street. There are people who come around in Vans who get people off the street and into shelters. I know this because I have worked and volunteered in these areas. Again, no one is angry. You have choices. It is up to you. And, I am sorry that YOU feel that way. You have a computer and the abllity to make all those calls. Good. That means you also have the ability to get help.

I've had every person I tell my story to get angry with me and walk away. That's why I turned to you. I am supposed to leave tomorrow--my 4 cats and me. I've tried to spend my time wisely making any arrangements I can, and so far I've come up with NOTHING. I've called the ambulance and been to the hospital. Twice. They gave me son muscle relaxers. They don't hand out expensive testing procedures like MRIs to poor people. Yes, you're right, they didn't refuse me, but they didn't help me much either. I crawl up the stairs and only walk short distances before having to sit down. I move my patient around. And it KILLS me. But what choice have I had? I've called most of the places you all have suggested, and without going into a Lon description of what happened, its either pending or no go. I haven't called APS yet, or Homeland Security. I've made a lot of calls that ended up in mazes of recorded messages and had to give up, at least temporarily. I've called shelters, so many times. You're wrong about me--yes, I welcome any and all suggestions. But I HAVE TRIED almost every suggestion. Nothing has worked so far. And yes, I'm not in the best shape, mentally or physically, and that probably slows me down. But I got some cat carriers to put my cats in. I'm happy I got that done, since I dont have any money and used Amazon gift cards I earned from completing surveys on my phone. That's all the money/credit i had, so at least I have something to put them in. I just got those yesterday. At least my cats wont get loose on the street when we go sleep under a bridge. People don't LIKE HEARING about a situation like mine. They want to help, but dont know what to do, and they get frustrated and ANGRY WITH ME. I AM DOING EVERYTHING I CAN for myself and my cats. I've made more calls and written more emails, letters, messages, etc, than you can imagine. Is all right if you give up on me--everyone else has.

Yes, I am still reading. Thank you for all your suggestions. I'm doing everything I can. Please keep them coming.

You are a victim of Human Trafficking!! You need to get help (which is available thru Homeland Security) among other organizations. This from HS website:
Report Suspected Human Trafficking

Report suspected human trafficking activity to law enforcement (available 24/7, in over 300 languages and dialects at):
•Call 1-866-347-2423 (toll free)
•Call 1-802-872-6199 (non toll free international)
•Report online at www.ice.gov/tips

Call the National Human Trafficking Resource Center (NHTRC) at 1-888-3737-888 to get help or connect with a service provider in your area. The NHTRC is not a law enforcement or immigration authority and is operated by a nongovernmental organization.

For more information, please contact the Blue Campaign at bluecampaign@hq.dhs.gov.

Why not ask the www.domesticviolence.org/ people whom you CAN go to for protection and what you CAN do with your cats? If they don't have the answer, ask them for a referral to someone who might know. In other words, you keep asking agencies until you find someone who has the answer. The alternative is to continue to be abused, to possibly be killed (yes!) and to have your beloved cats abused .. any abuser will get you and anything you love and destroy it.

Dallas: If you are still reading: two things: this abuser ccan also abuse or even kill your cats. So they are in danger as well. Getting a protetctive order against an abusive violent person is useless as they will not obey it. When you leave is the most dangerous time, so do so quietly. Surely there is some protective service and you can ask/call/chat with domesticviolence.org/ for link to it. If necessary go to a homeless shelter for awhile and then seek another position. There are options, but staying is not an option .. not for your safety and not for the safety of your cats. An abuser will abuse not only people but also animals. You love your cats? Then protect them by doing some of things suggested by others.

What is happening on Saturday? What have you worked out? I am really glad to hear that you are leaving, and I'm concerned about where you are going and what is happening to the cats. I sincerely hope this is the beginning of lots of improvements for you.

I know who to contact about those cats - bestfriends.org, or blackcatrescue
and if you start an Indiegogo to raise funds to do it for them I would chip in. Private message me if you want my e-mail addy, etc. or just post a link (remove the http:// and you can put links in messages.)

I'm not here because I feel these people owe me a thing! I am only here until Saturday.

There is NO FOSTER PROGRAM that i know of able to take four 11year old black cats!! Foster programs take animals bound for euthanization. They rescue abused, injured, abandoned, neglected, hoarded, ec animals that would otherwise have no chance of survival. They dont take cats that belong to some screwed up person who got stuck in a stupid situation and cannot think clearly enough to find a solution. Maybe if I had a bunch of money to give someone, maybe they would survive. I think that my cats are safer with me because otherwise they'll be dead.

What about a Protective Order? Here's a link for victims who need assistance from the Texas Attorney General's office. I would contact them for information.

https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/cvs/victim-service-providers

GET OUT NOW! Report his actions to the police STAT!

I am not sure as to why you are asking for advice and then not following it when given. At the risk of seeming uncaring you seem to be looking for someone to agree with you rather offer suggestions. I am a cat lover myself but found myself in a situation years ago where I could not provide a safe environment for them or myself. I gave them up to save myself and hopefully give them a better life. This is what worked for me. If you care about your safety and theirs I strongly suggest you give them up to a foster care program and get out of the house. Cut your losses and stop trying to recoup something out of a no win situation. You are making it sound as though you have no choice which is never true. There are always options they are just not always the ones we have planned. Pick one and remember you have to live with the consequences of the action you take. Godspeed to you and please stop deluding yourself that you are helping these poor defenseless cats by keeping them in an unsafe environment just because you feel as though you are owed something by these people. I am sorry to be so blunt but if you truly love these animals you will not keep them unsafe for one more day. Godspeed and I truly hope you find safety for yourself and those kitties.

That has been weighing heavy on my mind. I have known, however, that if APS is notified, I have to be out of here. They will probably remove her. I think about it all the time. Although I have witnessed him abuse her verbally, what happened was that a long time ago, when I called him on it, he turned it all on me. I guess I "exposed" him way back then, which ignited his anger towards me, and thats where all the abusive behavior towards me began. I dont know what to do

I have to say, I'm disapointed that not one word has been said about the person you are caring for. If that monster treats you that bad, how on earth does\ would he treat them. If no one is willing to help you would it be posible to get them out of the bad situation?

Thank you for that supportive comment. I had to remind myself that I worked for God each and every day, and that all I could really do was the RIGHT THING.

Nevermind valiant efforts - you are valiant just for surviving and giving decent care under these conditions - what you need is the effort that WORKS.

It might not sound like it, by I truly have made every effort to do the things suggested. I've made more phone calls, sent more emails....than you can imagine. It boggles my mind how many people/agencies I've talked to.. I HAVE PUT FORTH A VALIANT EFFORT,

Reasons I have not left: 1) no convenient place to go -- alone, no family, 2) unsure about career plans/nervous about job market re-entry, and 3) I have a "background.," and it puts me at a self-perceived, overwhelming disadvantage. Not the best reasons, to be sure. I get overwhelmed by those reasons, then add present lack of confidence to "battered" lack of confidence/self-esteem.....im working on it. Oh, plus i don't have a car and it's not pleasant to leave the premises because I can cause confrontation (so can anything else). Now ADD TO THAT the fact that I cannot walk/stand right now, and....a pitiful/pathetic combo and i hate that I let all that stuff he to me. I'm just being honest...

So, you are sacrificing your life for your cats. Well, that sounds terrible, BUT, weirdly enough I understand. Having experienced for myself the emotions of just *considering* leaving a situation where I have been for a while and invested a great deal in, yeah. You don't want to be abused but you don't want to leave people and places behind even if something new might be better. Think outside the box. Will be praying something new comes to you.

If you try to expose him, how are you going to answer the question, "Why did you stay there more than two years?"

Isn't this why the police are not helpful? "Lady, you are free to leave at any time."

Yes, we understand about your cat family. You are in a hard position, there is no denying that. But you are also a free adult, with a money-making skill. You HAVE to get yourself out of there!

Don't even consider getting "revenge" until you are out of there! Then come back and maybe we can come up with some ideas for you. But first, your safety, and that of your cats.

He underpaid you for more than 2 years. But you accepted that pay. You knew he was paying you under the table to avoid his legal responsibilities but you went along with it. He has been abusive in his demands, but you stayed there. If you were his wife or his daughter it would easier to understand the hold he has over you.

Oh, and one more thing, he DID try to harm my cats, unfortunately; he tried to murder them by setting off a highly toxic, concentrated flea bomb in my room with my cats still in it the day he got so angry because I had called the police.

I appreciate your kind and thoughtful answers. I really do......BUT ...i would like to redirect this conversation, if I may be so bold, because I have followed your suggestions. Over and over again I have called shelters and animal groups. Women's shelters cater to victims of DOMESTIC violence and their children--human families. They have never had an opening on the numerous occasions i have checked, and that may be why. I am a pretty serious animal advocate, at least on Facebook. I am one of those people who share every homeless dog and cat, as well as target and petition the abusers, and drive all my "friends" crazy. That is my passion, and I am not ashamed to pursue it, even at the risk of losing friends. I share posts with many, many animal rescue groups every day. Granted, I haven't BEGGED them yet, and maybe I shall, but they stay overflowingly full with abandoned, neglected, sick, homeless, and orphaned canines and felines. It's a bit of a conflict for me since I would probably be sentencing to death four other needy animals if they boarded mine for me. BUT I HAVE ASKED, numerous times. Heck, my brother is a foster/rescuer, and he said no! (we're not close). I will continue to purse these options as I have no choice. I don't mind asking. But now I'd like to know about, well, either getting even or getting what's coming to me. I've worked EVERY SINGLE DAY for 2.5 yrs without day off. I've been prohibited from receiving medical care (which I now desperately need) because he 1) doesn't pay me enough to afford it, 2) wont allow me time off, and 3) now, he will not sign a prop of income/residence I need to go to low-cost clinic. So I've stayed in outrageous pain at his hand. The abuse I've suffered is mainly the struggles I've endured because of lack of money and cooperation. Even the fact that he won't take me to get food becomes a huge struggle, especially since I cannot walk. Sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 days to find a ride. People know what's going on here and dont want to be involved. I would like to bring legal proceedings and/or an exposé on the abuse of the caregiver. People would be so surprised to learn that this well-connected, "elite" family from the city's most prestigious neighborhood actually beats on their help and abuses their live-in caregiver (a 58 yr old woman). What a coward and a bully. Any thoughts/suggestions on this plan?

As everyone states find a temporary home for your family ( cats ) from an animal rescue resource and pack up and leave. Go to a women's shelter until you get on your feet. Your caregiving skills are an asset. So many out there need your skills and will pay handsomely for them. Then you can get you family back together. You are battered. Call a battered women's hotline TODAY! You need to move before you end up in a hospital. Then what will happen to your cat family? Go!!!

You are effectively a enslaved here. Although you do not indicate you are being sexually abused, maybe a human trafficking support center would help you.