Abuse of caregiver. Advice?

It sounds like a horrible situation for you but this is serious abuse. This guy should be repeated to the police and you need to get out. Is there anyone in this family who is sympathetic to your situation who could help you. Even a shelter would be better than getting beat up and injured.

Yes, all true. But since my cats are the only family I have, I wish not to lose them. The police have come out 3 times, no arrests. They think its my fault for not leaving. And, frankly, everyone does. I haven't left because it's roof over our head. There's no one to help me, and again, most people think I'm the weird one. No one believes there's nowhere for me to go. If i can find a temporary home for my cats, then ill go to a shelter. If i lose my cats because of this maniac, then I'm the BIG loser, and he's already damaged me enough. No more. I'm holding out for victory. I just don't see it yet, that's all.

Contact a womens shelter and explain your situation and that you need help placing your cats until you can get on your feet... there are many people who foster animals.... it may take awhile to find what you are looking for... and I understand what you are saying... I love my cat too and do not want to loose her.... there are agencies to help you.... you just have to call around.... but sooner or later, hopefully sooner, you HAVE to get out of there.... some people do not understand how we feel about our pets, and they are family... there is a way out.... please come back and update us.... no one deserves this kind of treatment..... you have power in your life, your brain and a phone or a computer.... find some resources to help you....prayers for an answer for you.

You MUST get out! The sooner the better! Call a local Animal Rescue group and explain that you need foster care for your cats, and why. Then get temporary shelter for yourself. Rest up, get yourself together, and get to a group that helps women find employment. Your caregiving experience is valuable and marketable, IF you want to stay in that field. You deserve more than getting paid very little, under the table, without any benefits or SS etc.

You are NOT "white trash" (whatever that is supposed to be) and you deserve a life free of abuse.

You may have to give your cats up for a while, but you really can get yourself out of this dysfunctional situation that you don't deserve!

Please, start calling around for a temporary home for your pets, and women's shelters for yourself. Then GET OUT.

Let us know your progress. I don't think this is going to be easy, but you CAN do it. When you run into an obstacle, post about it and maybe someone here can give good suggestions.

The son is abusive. The family must know this but no one will intervene. The police cannot do much - because you're just another statistic - like when the wife calls the cops because the husband is abusing her. They arrest him, and then she drops the charges.. The police sees this all the time. They know that nothing is going to be done against this son, so their hands are tied. Just as you think that you have no where to go where your cats are allowed. You just don't know what's available for you. Others have given you some places to start looking.

I just want to give you an incentive to start looking for a way out. One day, the son will again escalate the abuse. When he really wants to hurt you, he will turn towards hurting your cats. He would know that hurting you physically is nothing compared to hurting the ones you love - your cats. When you find a place, Leave. Do not give him a heads up, or warning. You just don't know how he will react when he finds out that you are 'abandoning' them. {{{shudder}}} I'd keep my cards very close to my chest....

Contact a cat rescue group and ask to have your cats fostered; then fine a shelter or home for abused men or women (not sure from your profile which you are).

Bookluver makes a very good point about the abuse escalating to the innocent and helpless cats.

Call the police NOW and ask for them to help you connect with your county's social services and find temporary shelter for both you and the cats.

Also tell the police that you're now ready to file criminal charges against the son who's been beating you up. Also address the financial abuse; given that you're a live-in caregiver and probably aren't paid that much, I'm not sure how much there would be to abuse financially, but every little cent counts.

You are effectively a enslaved here. Although you do not indicate you are being sexually abused, maybe a human trafficking support center would help you.

As everyone states find a temporary home for your family ( cats ) from an animal rescue resource and pack up and leave. Go to a women's shelter until you get on your feet. Your caregiving skills are an asset. So many out there need your skills and will pay handsomely for them. Then you can get you family back together. You are battered. Call a battered women's hotline TODAY! You need to move before you end up in a hospital. Then what will happen to your cat family? Go!!!

I appreciate your kind and thoughtful answers. I really do......BUT ...i would like to redirect this conversation, if I may be so bold, because I have followed your suggestions. Over and over again I have called shelters and animal groups. Women's shelters cater to victims of DOMESTIC violence and their children--human families. They have never had an opening on the numerous occasions i have checked, and that may be why. I am a pretty serious animal advocate, at least on Facebook. I am one of those people who share every homeless dog and cat, as well as target and petition the abusers, and drive all my "friends" crazy. That is my passion, and I am not ashamed to pursue it, even at the risk of losing friends. I share posts with many, many animal rescue groups every day. Granted, I haven't BEGGED them yet, and maybe I shall, but they stay overflowingly full with abandoned, neglected, sick, homeless, and orphaned canines and felines. It's a bit of a conflict for me since I would probably be sentencing to death four other needy animals if they boarded mine for me. BUT I HAVE ASKED, numerous times. Heck, my brother is a foster/rescuer, and he said no! (we're not close). I will continue to purse these options as I have no choice. I don't mind asking. But now I'd like to know about, well, either getting even or getting what's coming to me. I've worked EVERY SINGLE DAY for 2.5 yrs without day off. I've been prohibited from receiving medical care (which I now desperately need) because he 1) doesn't pay me enough to afford it, 2) wont allow me time off, and 3) now, he will not sign a prop of income/residence I need to go to low-cost clinic. So I've stayed in outrageous pain at his hand. The abuse I've suffered is mainly the struggles I've endured because of lack of money and cooperation. Even the fact that he won't take me to get food becomes a huge struggle, especially since I cannot walk. Sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 days to find a ride. People know what's going on here and dont want to be involved. I would like to bring legal proceedings and/or an exposé on the abuse of the caregiver. People would be so surprised to learn that this well-connected, "elite" family from the city's most prestigious neighborhood actually beats on their help and abuses their live-in caregiver (a 58 yr old woman). What a coward and a bully. Any thoughts/suggestions on this plan?

Oh, and one more thing, he DID try to harm my cats, unfortunately; he tried to murder them by setting off a highly toxic, concentrated flea bomb in my room with my cats still in it the day he got so angry because I had called the police.

If you try to expose him, how are you going to answer the question, "Why did you stay there more than two years?"

Isn't this why the police are not helpful? "Lady, you are free to leave at any time."

Yes, we understand about your cat family. You are in a hard position, there is no denying that. But you are also a free adult, with a money-making skill. You HAVE to get yourself out of there!

Don't even consider getting "revenge" until you are out of there! Then come back and maybe we can come up with some ideas for you. But first, your safety, and that of your cats.

He underpaid you for more than 2 years. But you accepted that pay. You knew he was paying you under the table to avoid his legal responsibilities but you went along with it. He has been abusive in his demands, but you stayed there. If you were his wife or his daughter it would easier to understand the hold he has over you.

So, you are sacrificing your life for your cats. Well, that sounds terrible, BUT, weirdly enough I understand. Having experienced for myself the emotions of just *considering* leaving a situation where I have been for a while and invested a great deal in, yeah. You don't want to be abused but you don't want to leave people and places behind even if something new might be better. Think outside the box. Will be praying something new comes to you.

Reasons I have not left: 1) no convenient place to go -- alone, no family, 2) unsure about career plans/nervous about job market re-entry, and 3) I have a "background.," and it puts me at a self-perceived, overwhelming disadvantage. Not the best reasons, to be sure. I get overwhelmed by those reasons, then add present lack of confidence to "battered" lack of confidence/self-esteem.....im working on it. Oh, plus i don't have a car and it's not pleasant to leave the premises because I can cause confrontation (so can anything else). Now ADD TO THAT the fact that I cannot walk/stand right now, and....a pitiful/pathetic combo and i hate that I let all that stuff he to me. I'm just being honest...

It might not sound like it, by I truly have made every effort to do the things suggested. I've made more phone calls, sent more emails....than you can imagine. It boggles my mind how many people/agencies I've talked to.. I HAVE PUT FORTH A VALIANT EFFORT,

Nevermind valiant efforts - you are valiant just for surviving and giving decent care under these conditions - what you need is the effort that WORKS.

Thank you for that supportive comment. I had to remind myself that I worked for God each and every day, and that all I could really do was the RIGHT THING.

I have to say, I'm disapointed that not one word has been said about the person you are caring for. If that monster treats you that bad, how on earth does\ would he treat them. If no one is willing to help you would it be posible to get them out of the bad situation?

That has been weighing heavy on my mind. I have known, however, that if APS is notified, I have to be out of here. They will probably remove her. I think about it all the time. Although I have witnessed him abuse her verbally, what happened was that a long time ago, when I called him on it, he turned it all on me. I guess I "exposed" him way back then, which ignited his anger towards me, and thats where all the abusive behavior towards me began. I dont know what to do

I am not sure as to why you are asking for advice and then not following it when given. At the risk of seeming uncaring you seem to be looking for someone to agree with you rather offer suggestions. I am a cat lover myself but found myself in a situation years ago where I could not provide a safe environment for them or myself. I gave them up to save myself and hopefully give them a better life. This is what worked for me. If you care about your safety and theirs I strongly suggest you give them up to a foster care program and get out of the house. Cut your losses and stop trying to recoup something out of a no win situation. You are making it sound as though you have no choice which is never true. There are always options they are just not always the ones we have planned. Pick one and remember you have to live with the consequences of the action you take. Godspeed to you and please stop deluding yourself that you are helping these poor defenseless cats by keeping them in an unsafe environment just because you feel as though you are owed something by these people. I am sorry to be so blunt but if you truly love these animals you will not keep them unsafe for one more day. Godspeed and I truly hope you find safety for yourself and those kitties.

GET OUT NOW! Report his actions to the police STAT!

What about a Protective Order? Here's a link for victims who need assistance from the Texas Attorney General's office. I would contact them for information.

https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/cvs/victim-service-providers

There is NO FOSTER PROGRAM that i know of able to take four 11year old black cats!! Foster programs take animals bound for euthanization. They rescue abused, injured, abandoned, neglected, hoarded, ec animals that would otherwise have no chance of survival. They dont take cats that belong to some screwed up person who got stuck in a stupid situation and cannot think clearly enough to find a solution. Maybe if I had a bunch of money to give someone, maybe they would survive. I think that my cats are safer with me because otherwise they'll be dead.

I'm not here because I feel these people owe me a thing! I am only here until Saturday.

I know who to contact about those cats - bestfriends.org, or blackcatrescue
and if you start an Indiegogo to raise funds to do it for them I would chip in. Private message me if you want my e-mail addy, etc. or just post a link (remove the http:// and you can put links in messages.)

What is happening on Saturday? What have you worked out? I am really glad to hear that you are leaving, and I'm concerned about where you are going and what is happening to the cats. I sincerely hope this is the beginning of lots of improvements for you.

Dallas: If you are still reading: two things: this abuser ccan also abuse or even kill your cats. So they are in danger as well. Getting a protetctive order against an abusive violent person is useless as they will not obey it. When you leave is the most dangerous time, so do so quietly. Surely there is some protective service and you can ask/call/chat with domesticviolence.org/ for link to it. If necessary go to a homeless shelter for awhile and then seek another position. There are options, but staying is not an option .. not for your safety and not for the safety of your cats. An abuser will abuse not only people but also animals. You love your cats? Then protect them by doing some of things suggested by others.

Why not ask the www.domesticviolence.org/ people whom you CAN go to for protection and what you CAN do with your cats? If they don't have the answer, ask them for a referral to someone who might know. In other words, you keep asking agencies until you find someone who has the answer. The alternative is to continue to be abused, to possibly be killed (yes!) and to have your beloved cats abused .. any abuser will get you and anything you love and destroy it.

You are a victim of Human Trafficking!! You need to get help (which is available thru Homeland Security) among other organizations. This from HS website:
Report Suspected Human Trafficking

Report suspected human trafficking activity to law enforcement (available 24/7, in over 300 languages and dialects at):
•Call 1-866-347-2423 (toll free)
•Call 1-802-872-6199 (non toll free international)
•Report online at www.ice.gov/tips

Call the National Human Trafficking Resource Center (NHTRC) at 1-888-3737-888 to get help or connect with a service provider in your area. The NHTRC is not a law enforcement or immigration authority and is operated by a nongovernmental organization.

For more information, please contact the Blue Campaign at bluecampaign@hq.dhs.gov.

Yes, I am still reading. Thank you for all your suggestions. I'm doing everything I can. Please keep them coming.

I've had every person I tell my story to get angry with me and walk away. That's why I turned to you. I am supposed to leave tomorrow--my 4 cats and me. I've tried to spend my time wisely making any arrangements I can, and so far I've come up with NOTHING. I've called the ambulance and been to the hospital. Twice. They gave me son muscle relaxers. They don't hand out expensive testing procedures like MRIs to poor people. Yes, you're right, they didn't refuse me, but they didn't help me much either. I crawl up the stairs and only walk short distances before having to sit down. I move my patient around. And it KILLS me. But what choice have I had? I've called most of the places you all have suggested, and without going into a Lon description of what happened, its either pending or no go. I haven't called APS yet, or Homeland Security. I've made a lot of calls that ended up in mazes of recorded messages and had to give up, at least temporarily. I've called shelters, so many times. You're wrong about me--yes, I welcome any and all suggestions. But I HAVE TRIED almost every suggestion. Nothing has worked so far. And yes, I'm not in the best shape, mentally or physically, and that probably slows me down. But I got some cat carriers to put my cats in. I'm happy I got that done, since I dont have any money and used Amazon gift cards I earned from completing surveys on my phone. That's all the money/credit i had, so at least I have something to put them in. I just got those yesterday. At least my cats wont get loose on the street when we go sleep under a bridge. People don't LIKE HEARING about a situation like mine. They want to help, but dont know what to do, and they get frustrated and ANGRY WITH ME. I AM DOING EVERYTHING I CAN for myself and my cats. I've made more calls and written more emails, letters, messages, etc, than you can imagine. Is all right if you give up on me--everyone else has.