Abuse of caregiver. Advice?

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I am a live-in caregiver who is being abused, mainly by my elderly patient's son. He abuses me physically (police called 3times), emotional, verbally, financially.....every day he berates/belittles/humiliates me in malicious manner. I have lived here 2.5 years, and have never had one day off. I get paid VERY LITTLE under the table. I never leave, and he will not even take me to the food store. I have begged him for help with medical care to no avail. Now, my back is injured, and I'm practical crawling, and he made it worse by slamming me into a cabinet. He wont sign documents of residence for low-cost clinic for medical care. He has thrown me off mattress to sleep on floor and claims I cannot use facilities. I haven't left because I have nowhere to go. This family has resources. They call me white trash. I have no family, nowhere to go, and desperately wish to keep my 4 cats/family. Advice?

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Contact a womens shelter and explain your situation and that you need help placing your cats until you can get on your feet... there are many people who foster animals.... it may take awhile to find what you are looking for... and I understand what you are saying... I love my cat too and do not want to loose her.... there are agencies to help you.... you just have to call around.... but sooner or later, hopefully sooner, you HAVE to get out of there.... some people do not understand how we feel about our pets, and they are family... there is a way out.... please come back and update us.... no one deserves this kind of treatment..... you have power in your life, your brain and a phone or a computer.... find some resources to help you....prayers for an answer for you.
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Reply to ladee1
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It sounds like a horrible situation for you but this is serious abuse. This guy should be repeated to the police and you need to get out. Is there anyone in this family who is sympathetic to your situation who could help you. Even a shelter would be better than getting beat up and injured.
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Reply to Windyridge
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You MUST get out! The sooner the better! Call a local Animal Rescue group and explain that you need foster care for your cats, and why. Then get temporary shelter for yourself. Rest up, get yourself together, and get to a group that helps women find employment. Your caregiving experience is valuable and marketable, IF you want to stay in that field. You deserve more than getting paid very little, under the table, without any benefits or SS etc.

You are NOT "white trash" (whatever that is supposed to be) and you deserve a life free of abuse.

You may have to give your cats up for a while, but you really can get yourself out of this dysfunctional situation that you don't deserve!

Please, start calling around for a temporary home for your pets, and women's shelters for yourself. Then GET OUT.

Let us know your progress. I don't think this is going to be easy, but you CAN do it. When you run into an obstacle, post about it and maybe someone here can give good suggestions.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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The son is abusive. The family must know this but no one will intervene. The police cannot do much - because you're just another statistic - like when the wife calls the cops because the husband is abusing her. They arrest him, and then she drops the charges.. The police sees this all the time. They know that nothing is going to be done against this son, so their hands are tied. Just as you think that you have no where to go where your cats are allowed. You just don't know what's available for you. Others have given you some places to start looking.

I just want to give you an incentive to start looking for a way out. One day, the son will again escalate the abuse. When he really wants to hurt you, he will turn towards hurting your cats. He would know that hurting you physically is nothing compared to hurting the ones you love - your cats. When you find a place, Leave. Do not give him a heads up, or warning. You just don't know how he will react when he finds out that you are 'abandoning' them. {{{shudder}}} I'd keep my cards very close to my chest....
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Reply to bookluvr
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Contact a cat rescue group and ask to have your cats fostered; then fine a shelter or home for abused men or women (not sure from your profile which you are).

Bookluver makes a very good point about the abuse escalating to the innocent and helpless cats.

Call the police NOW and ask for them to help you connect with your county's social services and find temporary shelter for both you and the cats.

Also tell the police that you're now ready to file criminal charges against the son who's been beating you up. Also address the financial abuse; given that you're a live-in caregiver and probably aren't paid that much, I'm not sure how much there would be to abuse financially, but every little cent counts.
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Reply to GardenArtist
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Lady, I really don't know what to tell you. You won't go because of the cats, but to stay is torture. You can't have it both ways. You are underpaid, a prisoner, treated like dirt day after day after day but yet you stay. Pack up those cats in borrowed cat carriers and get the heck out of there! Now! We can give you the best advice in the world, but if you don't take it, what good does it do? Pack a bag, call a cab and go to the police station. You can do this.
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Reply to Rocknrobin
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Quit negotiating with him!

LEAVE!!

I'm outta here ...
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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Dallas.......Pleeeeese... I can't believe I'm writing again. You are about 20 "Yes, but" over the limit. You have received more good advice than most people on this site. If you won't take the advice, which is why you wrote to begin with, than why are you still posting? It's time to put up or shut up. Time to move on.
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Reply to Rocknrobin
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What got me early on was the purchase of four cat carriers by; someone with no money, someone who has no transportation, someone who can't walk ... Come on! I've got a great idea; how about we put an end to this crap by no more replies? I know I'm out.
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Reply to Rainmom
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Yea! I too am glad that things are going well for you! You are a very good writer, so hopefully this will be a good match for you! I know that you are angry about some of the negative posts, but you did come across a bit flaky and did always seem to have a reason why you couldn't leave, and it did become strange and oppositional. But I am very happy for you, and proud that you are putting one food in front of the other and getting your life back on track! Good luck to you in your new ventures! I really mean that!
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Reply to staceyb
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