My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Yes, Jeanette, what you are going through with your brothers definitely is an ears laying back moment :P

[love that phase]

wrote a long reply... deleted it all. thank you bob. Time for me to just shut up and deal....

I do not care if they are afraid or not. They are grown ass men!! I took care of my dad....waiting/watching/helping him through his dying process. Just don't think I can do this with mom. Not alone...Not again. My oldest brother is a genius by all account with a photographic memory. He knows exactly what I am dealing with. I swear, If they reference my dad one more time I shall blow them all out of their cushy denial. Time I stopped being so darn nice to them.

ff.... she is their mom. Do I really care if they get "upset" at her odd behavior? NO! Be a damn man. ooohhh.... I do think I like being a tad angry vs bawling like a baby. Wait.... this all makes my ears lay back! :D

ya dont have to count favors jeanette . with a decent friend you just kind of have a feel for how fair each is being . i will take your advice to the point of not discarding a friend but i wont accept being turned down for something of that importance again . i still accept the blame . i should have got straight in her ass from the start . i let it happen .
your brothers dont have the guts that you do . like myself -- accept the blame . you need to get straight stupid with them . you need and deserve help .. every time i was ever taken advantage of in my life it was because i let it happen . the times i stood up for myself the opponent backpaddled .. those d*ckholes dont care if you have a nervous collapse . customers dont care if i lose . betsy didnt care if i had an accident or went to jail . weve got to stand up for ourselves . people are selfish .

JeanetteB, when it comes to siblings and other relatives, I think some are afraid to see your Mom in such a condition. What you are use to seeing your Mom do, like standing in a corner or talking to her reflection, might scare someone else. They rather remember Mom the way she was prior to these serious memory issues.

haha... I don't mind spiders so much, unless they're on the ceiling looking ever so dark and intimidating. Worst thing... trying to swat em off thinking they'll land on YOU still alive!! Just did that this morning.... creeps me OUT!

When I get beyond tired, I turn into a giant crybaby... which is what I am right now. I somehow need to regroup. My problems are no worse than any one else who post or deal with this. Right now she's in the kitchen standing in front of the window telling her reflection to "come here". Usually it is me who she says this to. I haven't the strength right now to redirect her....which no longer works.

Cap, don't keep count of favors. Someone higher than you does that already.

I think I shall look into placing her somewhere for at least a week. How can I take care of her properly if I am almost at my end? Where are my brothers? 3 weeks ago my oldest said he'd be back to visit in a few days? Hate? I think I do.

Jeanette, bless your heart, I don't know how you do it. I would be standing in a corner myself if I had to do what you are doing. How smart of the dog to know that something wasn't quite right.

yea you are living a nightmare jeanette . i admire the grace with which you do it . makes my dumbass problems seem pretty silly in comparison . i just busted a spider in the head and he landed in my glass of ice water but i still think you have it worse .
your mom is fortunate to have such an intelligent caregiver on her side imo .

Well shoot. I wanna climb on the lonely wagon also. Things are getting so difficult here... mom is now pretty much incontinent. Those things I said I could not/would not do a year ago.... I now do. The non stop (unless she's sound asleep) wandering throughout the house drives me batty. She will get lost and just stand in a corner for hours if I don't go get her out of it. I try and sit her in her chair she pops up withing seconds... wanders around the living room, tries to sit on either me or the dogs, can never EVER see her recliner... will not listen if I beg her crying to please sit down for 5 minutes... her feet swell like balloons from the hours of pacing or just standing in place while she moves them up/down/up/down.... I barely can get her to eat much because she will not sit long enough. I have to almost force her to eat... then she gets mad and will not open her mouth. Thank God she loves those chocolate ensure's. The other night the wifi went down and I must have lost connection to her room monitor... the dog came into my room whining... no telling how long she'd stood in the corner... she was so cold and her feet so swollen from standing. I am so tired and worn plumb out ... things are starting to fall wayyyy behind, the yard work, laundry, and paperwork. I need a seriously long week away...preferably in a warm place with tropical waters.

Veronica91, those fuzzy socks with the rubber dots on them don't work well for me.... for some reason those dots get snagged on carpeting elsewhere in the house. It's like walking at a brisk pace and stepping on chewing gum, you come to an abrupt stop :P

im a bit depressed tonight . i only have one good friend but i have done her appr 100 unpaid favors over the last 3 - 4 years and shes done me about 50 paid favors . she wheemed out of taking me to va for my colonoscopy and i bout got jailed on the way home over being wiped on those meds . even since then shes emailed me about a leaking toilet then emailed me back getting sarcastic about a leaking toilet . were going to have a blunt talk and we'll walk away friends or done with each other . this is a very lonely time in my life but not lonely enough to be taken advantage of .. i blame me . i let it happen . it'll be me who fixes it ..
ive lived life on the behalf of others for so long i dont know how to live for myself alone .

lol...captain, I admit I am a football fanatic..BIG TIME...always have loved it..I think it's because it was a huge thing with me and my Daddy...so I love fall and football Saturdays. I made a perfect cake and am letting it cool a bit and then I think I need to sample it.. :)

has been a good day. Mama is sleeping ...a LOT...probably more than I'd like, but I guess that is better than her being restless. She seems very comfortable so that is a blessing. But it is odd how it can feel so lonely with so much going on in this house and because she is asleep, and so quiet, it just seems all the more quiet....so many memories this time of year anyway..and everything I do, reminds me of her and of us doing things together...but that means we have a lot of good memories too. She has these moments...where she sleeps so much..sometimes the entire day..and then will way up bright and alert. I guess it goes with the territory...

Salad and soup tonight for dinner - tasted pretty good. Dishes to do, laundry to do (lordie, but Mom is keeping me busy with that lately, though today hasn't been too bad), already vacuumed and mopped floors today, picked up dog food and now I'm finally starting to settle down for the night - maybe.

Need to get some writing done and work on a project for a new client. Picked up 2 new clients last week and one of them recommended me to a colleague of hers, so another potential new client may come on board next week. :-) If it all pans out, this winter will be far easier financially than last!

just kiddin hope . i dont care for sports but i shouldnt criticize those who do .

FF have you tried the socks like they give you in hospital with the little rubber dots on them.

hope,
" football "
i need to build a root cellar and your watching football .
just kiddin with you ( kinda ) . dribble me about 250 of those block over here and kick a field goal with about 15 buckets of mortar and we' ll be on the same page .

the moderators aint gonna change their MO for me so check out rainbow bridge by molly hatchet . its a song written from the heart by the band after the loss of one of their beloved wives . rockers arent made of stone and indeed have sensitivities that parallel and accomodate their artistic mindsets . the whole concert in hamburg germany is worth a listen imo ..

Finally got my new curtain rods put up now that I can climb again...also got all the curtains laundered and a favorite pound cake from my Mama's old recipe in the oven...yummmm....can't wait to have that with a cup of good hot coffee shortly..enjoying football and Mama is napping...She ate a very good breakfast but has slept most of the day..still, everything else seems ok...I feel bad just letting her sleep, but then I feel bad waking her when she's resting so good...it's not time for her meds and so I think I'll just let her rest til meal time...

i made a big freakin pie . 9 inch pie pans are for people who think inside the box . if i can get the sob to cool ill take edna a piece tonight .

I also like using professional tradesmen who have been in business for more than 10 years and who uses their own name as part of their business name. Not saying someone starting out new wouldn't be good, but if one has over 10 years under their belt, they have the logistics down pat.

my coc nut creme pie turned out as good as the restaurant ones. maybe better , ill bet they use a boxed pudding mix .

I would not trust Angies list personally. There is no way they can check everyone out and find out if they are licensed and insured. Do what the Capt said and talk to some of the trades on a big job and get some names. some of the big stores do installing too so they can give you an idea what a job will cost. they are usually more expensive than the small guy and they just use subcontracters anyway.

I never had any luck with Angie's List. I bought a membership on Groupon one time because it was just so cheap - just to try it out. There were NO contractors in our area, or for a 60-mile radius. Waste of time. I do better looking them up in the phone book. Doesn't mean they're not still total flakes, though. One guy came out, gave us great quotes on doing a metal roof on the house and garage, plus paving the driveway and possibly installing a concrete patio for us - then dropped off the face of the earth. I called and left 3 messages for him to come back by and give us quotes on work to be done on the inside of the house this winter, thinking I could keep him busy with smaller projects until I could afford to do the bigger ones next spring - no answer. My final message was to tell him he'd lost a significant amount of business and not to bother calling back.

Angie is good for some things, but not others. A lot of people have no idea if they really needed the work done and how much it should cost. I know one scamming HVAC company that is award winning on Angie's. I'm a bit OCD when it comes to contracting for work. I find out how much it should cost, look at any reviews I can find, check references and credentials, then call. I'm a bit meticulous about it because I don't know anything about any of this, so would be prime for a plucking if I weren't.

i wish these splittail moderators would stop killing music links . im listening to some molly hatchet tonight that would even inspire this disinterested , clueless blender i just bought .

dont ask my lumbar . its buried in self pity. chin up , chest out you lazy fks ..

ask the great sahara forest how formidable i am with a chainsaw .

i aint payin angie to be on her list . she needs reputable contractors -- let her pay me .
nothing goes as planned . bought a 5 dollar thrift store blender that doesnt work . i might be able to coerce some life out of it but in the meantime im still making my coc nut creme pie . edna loves them and i can make an entire pie for the 3 . 50 a slice ive been paying at a restaurant . this blenderis fn with the wrong cat . ill spin it with a chainsaw if i have to .

My parents are the opposite when it comes to hiring anyone to help them at their house. My parents don't trust anyone!! People my parents had hired in the past who did excellent work have since retired.

I give my recommendations but my parents sometimes act like I don't know what I am talking about.... doesn't matter that I currently manage an office building and talk with tradespeople on a regular basis :P

I never had good luck with names on Angie's list, too many red flaps would pop up just on my initial telephone call, and some of the rave reviews I question because of past knowledge of poor workmanship or customer service which I heard throughout the years from others. Here in my area we have an independent consumer checklist, paid subscription, which is pretty spot on, I've had good luck finding tradespeople from that list :)

I don't want to go to the gym, either, but no one is going to exercise me but me. So off I go. (grumble, groan)