My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Jessie, I still can't convince my Mom that running around from store to store is expensive with the price of gasoline.... Mom has no concept because she never had to pump her own gasoline to pay attention to the price of gas and miles per gallon [that was Dad's job to figure out]. Same with coupons, sorry I am not going to the other side of town for a 25 cent coupon saving on one item... [sigh].

This drives me crazy, too. My parents have always wanted a specific type and brand. I'll say that they haven't made those in 20 years. Things change, but some people can still think there is a long raccoon coat out there if we look hard enough. There probably is, but how long are we going to have to look?

What a challenge trying to shop for items for my Mom... the things have to identical to what she was using before.... but trying to replace something that is 20 years old isn't easy.

Today it was a bathroom rug about the size of a small furnace filter... I only went to Target, looked at every single rug and there wasn't anything in that size, so I got the next best thing. Mom said it was too big, but Dad said the size was perfect, he will make it work, or switch out another bath rug some place else.

Mom said for me to go to Sears... told her if Target didn't have that size, no place else would have that size. If Dad was still driving, the both of them would go to Kohl's, then to Target, then to Sears, then to Penneys, then to Bed, Bath and Beyond, to search for that certain size rugs. I hate shopping, so the thought of going to all those other stores makes me want to go running screaming into the night.

Now Mom wants to use the old bath rug in the guest room bath.... HELLO... the non-skid backing is now hard, the rug is dangerously slippery.... then Mom said she will use the old rug in the basement.... NO, THROW IT OUT. Really now, those news rugs are only $9.99, my parents could easily afford a dozen of them without a blink of an eye.... [sigh].

Susan, when you're meeting yourself coming and going, I hope you say hi to yourself and give you a pat on the back for everything you accomplish. Not as if we get that from many other people so you'd might as well do it for yourself!

We should be leaving here to take an adventure in 30 minutes. Mom was up pretty much all night long... I finally just stayed up at 6:30... what's the point of even trying to sleep when she's in pace mode? none, no point whatsoever. Good thing Josh was here to help me pick her butt up at 4:30 a.m. and get her back into bed... BUT, guess where my son is? Yup, in bed sleeping. I've made breakfast, fed 3 dogs, got mom to the bathroom and washed up, went to wallyworld for depends, more ensure and other necessities... woke him up an hour ago and he said he was awake and getting up. I have half a mind to just leave him here with mom and the carer, take my pibble and enjoy my afternoon away. I really should do that too... but I won't. sigh.

z3mel, you're probably developing a nervous stomach dealing with your dad. I've got one now as well. Nerve wracking (at times) is such an understatement. If my mom was to go near anything electrical... nope, no way... just would not happen!... no wonder you have a nervous stomach. Nothing cute about any of this, at all.

At times I wish they'd place my mom on hospice just so they could help me keep her nutrition up. I keep thinking if she would eat more she'd get better or walk better without falling... going to buy her a soft shelled hat this week. It's a must have these days.

Jeanette...you are lucky he eats! We went through a few terrible mos when Melvin wouldnt eat for me or even my children.. no food no wayer and refusing pills on ocassion. His are all heart pacemaker pills and aricept. Finally agreed to go into er..ccu for dehydration and feeding tjen 2 mos hospice nutrition reha . Now he is eating all day. Hugs to you

This seems strange but i have cheonic diarrhea when with my father . I have a new appt for a Go and blood work waiting but it is IBS. think ive pinpointed the attacks . He listens to sarah brigjtman loudy so now i am using earbuds . He found 2 screwguns and has screwed keys..rings...shoelaces to the walls and that oneis hard to overlook. He sawed the handle off our coffeemaker pot to make a tea pot. I hope this induces a laugh on someone. It drives me crazy but from another it would be cute.

Cap, you were my exception to the rule :) I meant it too...

took my son to see dad and his gorgeous view of the Brownsville Timbers. The 8x10 gloss laminated pic plus his obit is still pinned to the giant fur tree. There are still some remnants of his ashes/bones that circled the tree... plus, the 4 bouquet of flowers I brought for all the siblings... well, you can still see the remnants hanging in the tree. They've been logging big time up there and it's changes so much since we left dad... his tree is untouched plus someone hung a green dog collar?...LOL, just what dad wanted, a dog buddy to play with amongst the timbers :) I loved it.

I have one important thing to mention. I hope to God I NEVER whine again about being lonely or missing people. We are more than fine. No longer will I deal with self entitled, selfish, their way or no way people. Never ever again.

Speaking of rotors....I think I am just going to have my little truck towed to the shop and let them deal with it. I know the brake pads need replacing...but I'm thinking the calipers may be messed up too....Brakes are not something i want to play around with so I am just going to let the pros deal with that...not an expense I wanted right now, but spring is just around the corner and I am going to need my truck for hauling stuff .

The biggest happy of my day has been that Mama seems a lot better today...the nurse thinks...and I do too...that she has had a really bad sinus infection on top of just coming off a bad virus, so maybe that has been what was going on. It is hard to say...but for now she is comfortable and drinking her ensure so once again, it is one day at a time.

I've seen a smile a few times and that means the world to me. And now we have had the sunshine for three days in a row and that in and of itself is so uplifting....

you wont hear me underestimating women . ive had men and women helpers on the job and the men are thickskulled , already know everything . well my ex was impossible to work with but she was perimenopausal and probably had a higher testosterone level than i did at the time . wanted to challenge anything anybody tried to tell her . happy trails to her , hope we NEVER meet AGAIN . you cant have two control freaks under the same roof -- the roof wont hold .
crack - y ( heather ) has finally stopped asking me to look at her truck . until she learns some respect for machinery and learns to drive ( gas , brake , honk ) i wont attempt to help her keep a vehicle going . if i see brake dust a half inch thick on someones front rotors i wont be working on or even going near their brakes cause theyre an accident waiting to happen .
im using different muscles now laying stone and my shoulders feel like theyve been beaten with a lead pipe tonight . i have pain pills but if i eat em ill be hovering a foot above the bed tonight instead of sleeping . ' jellin ' like a class " d " felon ..

Veronica, when we first got the brain games for WEE, EVERYONE, everyone that first tried the games were judged at the bottom. Riiiight! But it was a motivation to make those scores better. The same for the physical fitness scores, everyone was in their 80's. They may be messing with you a little.

Very true, Jeanette. When you live alone with children or an elderly loved one, without the benefit of a man's help or knowledge, you just learn to do it yourself or hire it done if you can't! I'd like to think my dad would be proud of all the things I've accomplished around the house since he's been gone, even though there were many times I've wished I could ask him about things.

I'm so proud of all the women who do the extraordinary every day. We fix our vehicles, take care of the yard, cook, clean... we do it all and some how keep on going. Sorry if any men are offended, Cap you are the exception to the rule, but there is not many men that could do everything we do. Least I don't think...

Yes, still enjoying my son, haha, he reminded me another reason I moved so far away... I seriously think I could live alone forever with just my animals. I could. Less stress, less work and more love n appreciation :)

Well, for once, I don't have a whine, at least not so far today. Mom's back is bothering her, so she's pretty stationary today. No shower, even though it's a shower day, and I'm not forcing the issue since she's under the weather. I'm not an ogre, even if I feel like I am some days. Yesterday wasn't so great, but today, Mom seems to be doing ok, for the most part, just tired and has a sore back. Her new lift chair will be delivered tomorrow, and I think that will go a long way to helping with her back - it hurts because her old lift chair croaked a few months ago, and she's having to lean forward on her cane and lift herself out of the (very low-sitting) chair, which is straining her back and shoulders.

Van went into and back out of the shop with a list of about 5 things to check over or fix, for $50. Can't complain about that! I thought for sure the serpentine belt needed to be replaced again - fortunately, it was just chirping like a cricket and needed a little spritz to make it stop. Belt is completely fine and the noise is gone. Oil changed, door lock button fixed (again), brake light fixed, antenna spritzed so it will go up/down without getting stuck, all fluids checked/topped off and brakes/tires checked for my trip.

Meeting myself coming and going this week trying to get everything done, but glad the van work is at least out of the way and didn't cost me an arm and a leg.

Jeanette, I hope you're enjoying the time with your son (or did enjoy, if he's already gone).

lol...sounds good to me Jeanette :)

I think we should all just go back to bed and try again in the morning :)

Waiting seems to be how we spend half our lives. We always wait an hour or so at the doctor's office, because they are overscheduled. Saturday I spent the day waiting for the vet to do some things for my rabbit. I took him in, then went home. I waited the rest of the day for the things to be done. But then I was grateful, because the vet had to work the rabbit into the busy day. Still, by the end of the day I was worn out from waiting. To make matters worse, on the way home I got stuck in stop and go traffic. Everyone was going to the mall and it backed traffic up for miles. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Well, while that solves the phone issue, it does not solve the whole issue of how the last three weeks the aid who used to be here almost like clockwork seems to be off on a tear of her own...I'm coming at 8:00, she gets here at 10:00...I'm coming late today, she gets here at 9:00, I am sick of it. We need the nurse and I can understand the nurse getting called out because a patient has taken a turn, but I will just say I am not going to be held hostage by an aid who can't let me know at least roughly what time she is going to come and then stick to it. This morning once 10:45 rolled around I went ahead and bathed Mama and told her not to come....she then texted me and said wait don't do it I will be there by 11:00...I was already going to be done by that time...No...I am getting on with my day...That is what I HATE about home health and hospice, the day they are coming is always spent waiting on them....the aid is here for all of an hour, the nurse for about 30 minutes and yet combined with the time I keep having to watch the phone, watch the phone and the minute I sit down to finally eat my lunch because I am about to pass out...maybe around 3:00 because they weren't here at noon like they said they would be because they were running late...THEN they show up....I had Mama all settled down, fed, dressed bathed...spent all morning doing something that normally would have just taken me one hour to get the routine handled...and THEN she calls and leaves me a voice mail that she will come and sit with Mama and let me go somewhere for an hour if I would like...pardon my french but I am not ready to go anywhere I have been busy doing YOUR job and no you are not coming by and sit on your butt for an hour and get paid for it...Yall don't fuss at me please, I am tired and the bath EARLY as planned as it used to be is about the only real break I get...I would rather not even look for someone to be here at all and just do it myself than to keep going through this he!!...and if it was because a patient had an emergency again it is one thing...but even in the past if I have not caught the phone she has come ahead and to text me five minutes BEFORE she is supposed to be here and tell me she will much later is NOT going to fly with me anymore

Well, it seem it's a good morning for whines!! CM, love the word "git". Yup, got 3 of em.

A few days ago mom developed a tiny sore on her upper gums... her teeth were bothering her. I've been putting campho stuff on it several times a day but it doesn't seem to be helping. This means her top teeth are out and feeding her is a challenge. She drinks 3 - 4 ensure's a day so I'm hoping she won't doesn't lose too much body mass. PB n J's, oatmeal, jello and anything she can gum is what she's eating... and ice cream. Hope this heals up soon... it's not helping at all !

Oh, I can add another whine... any sort of change in our routine changes mom's behavior as well. Everything goes whacko even more. Now add the extra stuff to do since we have a guest here and ... well, visits are nice but it's nice when things go back to that some ole routine. It's peaceful LOL!!

Hope, there is an easy solution. Keep your phone with you on bathing aid mornings. It's easy to do now, since we're not tethered to the wall with a cord. :)

Now for my whine of the day -- I have a day full of tasks that need to be done, some for me, some for my mother. And I thought about how much harder I work now than ever before. Then I thought about the old rhyme, "A man works til set of sun, but a woman's work is never done." I thought how true it is. People at my age are normally slowing down. For me it seems to just get more and more. Golden years, my foot!

Well, a small whine....our bathing aid texted me this am to let me know she was coming out if that was ok as she was leaving the office..this would have been AWESOME as they KNOW I like for them to come on early...BUT I don't sit on the phone and they know that and when I didn't tell her "OK"...she texted me again and said since she didn't hear from me she was going on to her next one and so would be running late to our house....This is getting to be more and more common with her and it is so disappointing..what disappoints me most is that until I started telling her she was awesome, she was always prompt and on schedule..now it is like because I told her she was great, she does pretty much what she wants to do...it happens every time...why is that? when someone told me I was doing a great job, it made me want to do an even BETTER job...but it seems like any time I let someone know I think they do a great job these days, they start thinking they've got me wrapped around their finger and so it's now their way or the highway...I don't get it...anyway, it has inconvenienced me...again....I almost told her not to come but I was kind of needing that little 45 minute break so I will let her come on...but I am not pleased.

It's the other brother, Veronica. The one who has more or less dropped off mother's radar, though I haven't the heart to say so to either of them. I shouldn't be blaming him because of the four of us he's got the most serious "issues" as they say - unaddressed, of course; but for heaven's sake. Could he not at least act normal, if that's what he insists he is?

hell,
yahoo mail is on its face this am and i cant communicate with crack - y .

CM if brother stays home so does SIL so be thankful for small mercies. Enjoy the visit with your cousins sounds as though they will bring some fresh air with them.

I am going to award myself a good, thorough, totally unreasonable whine before I shlep off to the rehab centre for Round 50 of the battle to make mother drink more. That's not the whine, though. The whine is that tomorrow my cousins are coming to visit mother. Cousin-ess P works for a global hotel chain that cuts her very little slack considering that she has a mother in the late stages of Parkinson's and spends at least as much time running around about it as I do. Cousin J is an airline pilot with two teenage children and therefore a pretty heavy schedule of his own, not even counting regular visits to see his mother. So if these two people can manage to drive over 100 miles just to spend half an hour with their aunt, HOW COME MY BROTHER CAN'T? Useless git.

On the other hand, at least it will be fun spending the morning with them.

I am going to whine about something different today!
I have known abour the luminosity brain games for a while but it popped up on my screen last night so I decided to give it a try. Boy what a shock. My scores were in the teenage range which i would have expected to be the highest rather than the lowest. Part of the problem is that I am on a laptop and can't move the curser fast enough but that is no excuse for being unable to remember all the patterns. Ah well onward and upwards, brain training is in my future when things are slow on A/C

Lu, let him who is the caregiver throw the first stone. What I mean is, who is giving you and your mother a hard time for putting your father into temporary respite care so that the two of you can get a night's sleep? Tell them to take a running jump, while you sort out more support for all the caregiving. Best of luck to you, what you're doing is absolutely the right thing - for your father too.

edna was a very innovative cook . she used to make cornbread with crushed up spicy pork rinds ( chips ) in the batter . it made for some pretty crunchy / spicy cornbread . she considered homemaking her " job " and she was incredibly good at it .
my mother didnt care to do much cooking but she was a great educator . as a kid i used to fantacize about being their hero in a post apolocolyptic setting or something similar . its been an honor to be each of thems closest companion at or near their end of life .
they will live on for generations hopefully . both my sons have been taught their frugality and ability to innovate . most of the females in the family consider mom and aunt to be backwards and ignorant . they are dead wrong and as unaccomplished as you would expect from such narrowmindedness .

Captain...I like apples cooked on the stove top too. I'm guessing Miss Edna put the red hots in with them then while they were cooking..and what a yummy scent wafting through the house!! I was going to make some spiced apples today but will wait now til my blueberry pound cake is gone... :)

Hi Lu..bless your heart. I don't know the severity of your Father's illness, but do you all qualify for home health or hospice? When Mama started getting more and more frail, I called one of the Home Health Care Agencies and they are more than happy to come out and talk to you and see if you qualify...And as Freqflyer suggested your local Council on Aging could give you information.

I understand your needing respite care in order for you to get some rest...I think all of us understand that here....Please let us know more information and welcome here.... (((hugs)))

LuMartinez, best thing to do is contact your local Council on Aging. Or ask at the convalescent home if they know of anyone you can hire to help at home.