I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
As most of you know, Mama has been on hospice now for over a year...14 months 2 weeks to be exact. She is totally bedfast, cannot eat anything other than her nutritional drinks, cannot move unless I lift her, and has advance AD...I would give anything to not have to have Mama on hospice...anything....but nonetheless I want to have her with me as long as possible, as long as she is happy and comfortable...
This morning someone on the thread eluded to the fact that they were shocked when they heard someone had been on hospice for two years...we are not there yet of course, but headed there God willing...they also commented regarding the necessity of testing, etc. by Medicare and implied that some families might want to be on hospice for free meds and help and it was not right....I am LIVID. Whether they were talking about my Mama or not...I would give anything to not have to have her in a hospice program, but I can damn well tell you that if anyone ever deserve any help they get from anyone it is my Mama....I best get off here.......I know a lot of people have had bad experiences with hospice...I did as well and that is why I was proactive in finding a better one..and did....I can assure you that we would not be in the program if we did not qualify....overly sensitive...yep....worn out...definitely...but why would anyone on here imply such a thing, Every now and then I wonder why I get on here......
geeewhiz, this time I did have coffee and splattered the screen!!
Talk about whoooooosh, right over my head .... hehe, you are too funny!!
Oh, by the way. He only has ONE of those ;)
Dee.... I know, my heart aches for my mom as well. The Lion King song, The Circle of Life, has been playing in my head for days now. Stopping most medications can cause some wicked side effects, add AD to the mix and you might get that banging all night long. I do hope she starts sleeping better. Hey, just take your garden hose and smoosh down that dog poop, fertilizer ya know?
How do you two know it's heart palpitations? Personally, I'd be worried and seriously working on my OWN doctor appointment. Please take care of yourselves. We didn't come this far to check out before our loved one. ps, didn't I warn everyone NOT to make morning appointments? Yikes!
Stopped by and visited mom today.... they have a lovely kitchen where I can make her a milkshake and a snack. She's been sleepy most of the day but was still a bit talkative. Held her hand and showed her pics of the fish they caught yesterday. Her comment was "I'll be damned"! ha... love that lady. Feeling a tad guilty since I mentioned to the nurse I might be back to have dinner with her....well, I didn't make it. She will be fine ... my head needs to realize this.
Fish fry time :)
Too sad about the aging dog. My oldest cat is 10 which is not really old for a cat but he is such a skinny critter. My husband and I take walks around our property and three of the cats follow us like dogs!
Oh dear Jeanette if you had done to hubby when you first got him what you did to canine boys he would never have strayed, as if you care!!!!!!!
My mom's been depressed for a couple of days. She gave us such a hard time about going to the doc the other day, I tried to be stern with her, guilt trip her, etc. I'm so rotten. She finally gave in. Boy, was she a happy camper when she found out her thyroid can be treated and cancer is unlikely. The day after though, she was so depressed. We ran out of her antidepressant and pharmacy/doctor's office didn't manage to get together on refilling the prescription so I had to make a couple of calls to make it happen. I'm hoping her bad mood is from being off the anti-depressant for 3-4 days and that now she'll start feeling better - poor ma! She's sleeping better at night since I restarted it. Tomorrow's her eye doctor appointment - 9:30 a.m. - this should be interesting trying to get her up and moving that early. I have to get her up at 8:00 a.m. on weekdays since morning caregiver can't transfer her. But mom spends the day on the couch and can sleep when she gets tired. Morning appointments usually aren't a good idea, but it's hard to get a Saturday appointment and they close at noon. Her vision is so bad now. My heart aches for her. Lots to do this weekend - the yard is terrible with dog poop and cardboard boxes from the Depends shipments (I save them for the gardens). Ugh. Hope it's nice enough to get mom to sit outside for a while. Everyone have a great weekend!
If this rain doesn't let up I don't know what I'm going to look like...I have to be able to play in the yard and I am convinced the lack of sun is sending my head into a fog...
The saga continues after we are heading home, Mom is saying "this hearing aid still doesn't work", "the hearing aid must be someone's elses", "the hearing aid is a recycled hearing aid, not a new one", "let's try that new hearing store over in the mall".
Where can I buy an old fashioned ear trumpet? :P
Susan, don't give up on your big guy just yet, it could be something as simple as allergies. Bigger dogs do have shorter life spans, that it true, but... I know I will say a prayer for him cuz I SO understand that special bond especially going through tough times. Okay, you know your an animal lover if you've heard this from a spouse or SO before. "You love that dog more than you love me"! LOL ex husband "used" to say it all the time, well, he's working on wife #3 since our divorce and I still have the same 2 dogs we had together. HA! cheating bastard... dogs are loyal ;)
Hope, there is a saying I have always loved. Why do things today when you can do them tomorrow. :) it's been a favorite motto of mine since I heard so long ago. Oh speaking of the Chaplain... he's the only Hospice person I've yet to meet. He's called twice now but.... I'm not ready to bare my soul just yet. One day, just not yet. I can't even imagine the blubbering pile of tears I'd turn into. What is UP with the crying?
Dee, how's the back? Did you manage to get some sleep? Even though my mom's on her vacation for 5 days I still can't sleep. Gonna try some nyquil Z tonight after my adventure today and see if that helps. No sleep = no fun.
One more funny thing I've noticed. I think my son is on strike with me. Guess he's gonna SHOW me he can marry and move wherever he wants and guess SHE'S gonna show me she wins. Haha, no honey.... I WIN, he's now your child. Just don't call me to bail you out.... call and ask how we are doing and make small chit chat or just don't call.
endofrope, your suggestion for arthritis?.... LOVE IT, and I'm pretty sure Cap has tried that remedy a few times ;)
btw...love your profile pic endofrope...too cute!
I did it the other day when the Chaplain popped in...that may stop him from popping in on me again...ha...
I have been playing fetch with my cat....one of the cutest little things I've seen in a while...who knew cats could ...or would play fetch...she's a smart little thing...and she makes me smile....
I started a million things today and accomplished absolutely nothing...I hate it when that happens, but all in all a decent day nonetheless...I'm pretty sure it will all be here tomorrow...and the day after tomorrow....
yea i still lurk around here a bit but when youall are praying for each others' pets n sh*t i go clear to the other end of the web to avoid conflict .
im researching what to do about my arthritic hands and worn out spine . easing up on hard work is just not on the table for consideration .
Boni missed you permanently placing Mom. I am sure it is the right decision given your heart. you need a restful and stress free life from here in. Enjoy your vaccy. Don't spend too much time in the jacuzzi or you will look like a prune.
Stopped to drop off jelly beans for dad must have gad a busy night moving stuff around!
I hope the furkids will feel better. I have 6 cats one usually has something going on.
dee, I think you need to get some ear plugs and just let her holler and bang.
Might be physically impossible I understand. Dementia sounds like.
I think you HAVE to find someplace where you can't hear her and sleep all night.
Ugh...mom took a shower today, and I had noticed that horrid odor again last night, so I *knew* her skin folds were needing attention. She hasn't been taking care of them again, so I have to up my game with her a bit and start monitoring *every* single shower and bathroom visit to make sure she does it. I already follow her to the bathroom all the time and help her in and out of the shower, but she's not taking care of herself properly, so I have to step in a bit further. (WARNING: next statement is gross...stop reading if you're easily grossed out.) She went to get in the shower, and I noticed a trickle of liquid running down the front of her thigh. Obviously not urine - wrong spot for it - so I followed the path of the trickle and it was coming from under her skin fold. Lifted the skin fold and almost vomited right then and there. We are back to square one with this yet again. Just when we get on top of it, it starts back up again. She hasn't had this problem in months, but apparently I'm going to have to really keep on top of her with this, because she's not taking care of it. Her memory is getting worse and worse, so I'm sure that's just part of the deal. She doesn't remember to take care of it. So we're back to the anti-fungal barrier cream, white handkerchiefs tucked into the fold to prevent skin-on-skin contact, and changing them every time she goes into the bathroom. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Guess I better go out and buy more bleach....there's going to be an abundance of whites to wash.
Monitored her dressing activity after the shower - she took a washcloth out, but then didn't know why (didn't need it, but was confused and took it out), took clean underwear out of the drawer and sat them on the sink, then got another pair out - and when I asked why, she said the ones on the sink were dirty. She got out the white handkerchiefs to put into her skin folds, put the cream on and the handkerchiefs, got through that ok, but I had to remind her to get an incontinence pad to put into her undies. Once she reaches that point, I leave her in some privacy to finish dressing, because she's usually ok at that point. Not today. Clean clothing was right there in front of her, along with a clean nightgown for tonight. She came out in the nightgown. I asked why she didn't get dressed, because we have someone coming to the house today - she looked down as though surprised she wasn't dressed and said, "I don't know. I just didn't!".
Like I said before....another low time for her. Seems like when she gets this way, her memory takes one more step away from her....but it never quite makes it back.
Hope, you know, we do tend to over worry and over think things before it happens. It was just so hard for me to see them lifting mom onto the gurney and put her in the van. Last time I witnessed something like that they were taking daddy away. We both got up early, well, I did then got her up, changed fed and .... even had a nice BM, her, not me :p She didn't complain, just gave the two guys her heart melting toofless smile. We even shared a few laughs before she left. My problem IS I am too sensitive. Maybe I need to up my antidepressant ? Seriously, it's getting annoying. I can barely talk at times without breaking down crying. Anyway, I followed the transport to Hospice House just to make sure mom was going to be ok. By the time I got there she was tucked in nicely, had lunch there and someone to assist her eating. This place is like a 4 star Hotel... the rooms are as big as our living room, with a couch, recliner, large flat screen tv and small fridge. Really? They even have a large golden retriever, her name is JJ. She goes from room to room with her toys entertaining the patients. The Nurse called me last night, mom was eating and doing great. Hmmm, could it be SHE needed the break as much as I did? Lisa, her part time carer, takes care of another lady in the town mom is in so she will go hang out with her for her normal 3 hours, this way I won't feeeeel the need to go there every day. There are people in life who truly do care.
My oldest brother just called and asked if I wanted to float down the river fishing for steelhead. YES YES YES! I do hope the other brother goes. I think they both realize that mom isn't the only one that was slowly dying in this house. Perhaps I too am realizing that everyone isn't my enemy and I need to relax a bit and slow those sad demons down inside my head. I can't change the outcome of what's happening to mom, I hope to change the outcome of what's happening to me. It's scary and forever losing both parents in a short time and the grief is so heavy at times that I really just want to hide from the world.
Hope, again it's so wonderful your mama is having great days! Treasure those and try not to worry about the nights so much. Sounds like what my mother would go through during her endless nights of pacing. Since your mother is bed bound and can't pace she's doing it, only lying down?
So, sigh.... I'm gonna go fix these dark roots in my hair and tame down some of the gray. Maybe shampoo the rug... or not :)